Cold feet or natural?

[wifey6]

Not sure if this is the right place...sorry if wrong.
I already have a wonderful DS-19 months & was very ill after his birth for over a year. Fast forward to now & me & DH have being ttc since January. Just recently I have started to panic about another baby...literally panic. The thought of juggling a newborn & toddler..after getting my DS in to a great 7pm-7am routine- I have just regained sleep & a bit of independence now he is older & I am working part-time. I want another baby & sometimes ache but I am getting the jitters about how everything will change again.
Am I being selfish/ silly or is this natural. I don't want to put off ttc as I do want a baby..just need to get my head around a major change.

[cerys74]

I think that's natural - you've just got your life to feeling comfortable again and the prospect of deliberately altering that is daunting. Especially since you were ill after DS, that must have been hard to cope with.

We're in a similar situation; have got DS (8m) and am already expecting DC2 (not entirely planned but that's how life goes). DS feeds well, sleeps well and is remarkably easy-going (long may it last, touch wood) and I am really paranoid that DC2 will be the complete opposite because it can't possibly be this straightfroward twice!!

My advice would be to feel the fear and do it anyway. You know you want another DC, and look how far you've come since the last major change (19m ago)!

[wifey6]

cerys74....congratulations & thank you.

[juneau]

If you're starting to really panic, how about holding off for a while longer? Unless you have specific reasons for ttc a second child RIGHT NOW, I can promise you that it's easier if you have a bigger gap.

[wifey6]

juneau....if we hold off..it puts off an operation I need (sounds very selfish) but as its fertility related..I would like another or or two babies before I have it. I'm not sure if that's what's getting me...

[wifey6]

I feel so blessed to have my DS..& would be doubly blessed with another...so that's why I can't make sense of this panic

[Squitten]

You obviously do want the baby so I think the panicking isn't something that should necessarily put you off.

Adding another newborn into the mix will always raise the "what if" questions, whether it's your first or your 10th. Yes, your life will change but that doesn't have to be a bad thing!

Personally, I have found the 2nd much easier. I knew what I was doing (mostly!) and was much more laid back.

[cerys74]

Oh yes, the midwife said that to me about DC2 (re: 2nd being easier) - apparently it's been so short a gap that I'll remember how to change nappies, make up bottles (if neccessary), deal with colic etc and the only thing I need to worry about is establishing breastfeeding!

Not sure that those tasks are particularly hard to re-master but it made me feel a bit better :)

[Cherriesarelovely]

Everyone is different OP. I wouldn't have been anywhere near ready when DD was 19 months but most of my friends had theirs when their first DC was about 2 so you are not unusual in doing so. From what I remember they were all a bit exhausted etc but they coped and their Dcs play very well together now that they are older.

[wifey6]

Thank you everyone...it's made me see that this 'panic' will happen if we fall pregnant this month or next year...it's the unsettling of the current atmosphere I think that I'm worried about.

[Scholes34]

It's really fear of the unknown. It's not something you can necessarily plan ahead for. You'll deal with things as they happen, and you'll deal with them in the best way you can. Your DS has a routine now, but that will fluctuate and change regardless of whether there is another DC in the equation or not. Your DS will love a sibling! Don't worry and dwell on it. I was lucky - was pregnant with second DC before I knew it, so didn't have time to worry about what if.