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... School proms - aaargh!

(77 Posts)
woollyideas Mon 23-Jan-12 11:55:36

Okay, I admit I'm a bit of an old puritan about these things, but AIBU in thinking my DD's school should not be promoting limo hire etc., at its 'Prom Fair'?

Actually, the very idea of them having a Prom Fair has left me frothy! Whatever happened to the good old, low-key 'leaver's disco'? Why are parents expected to spend fortunes on a load of old consumer shit professional make-up artists, tiaras and limos? What sane parent would want to pay an entry fee to go to a 'Prom Fair' to browse the wares of the limo hire companies, tiara makers, photographers, etc.?

Who are these parents who think this sort of expenditure on a night out for a teenager is okay? At DD's school last year one of the parents asked whether they could land a helicopter in the school field? WTAF? (Normal state high school on south coast BTW).

Kayano Mon 23-Jan-12 11:58:18

I got my school prom dress from tkmaxx for £30 back in the day and had 2 dates

It's crazy the amount some people spend its like a bloody competition. I remember my friend paid to get a dress which ended up costing nearly £200 for which she got
To wear it for 5 hours max

MuckyCarpet Mon 23-Jan-12 11:58:50

It's one night they'll never forget. Don't be a grump!

Although the helicopter is way OTT!

webwiz Mon 23-Jan-12 11:59:21

Prom fair shock

woollyideas Mon 23-Jan-12 12:01:03

Yep, prom fair... bit like a wedding fayre (with a 'y', of course,) but for your precious teens.

McHappyPants2012 Mon 23-Jan-12 12:02:36

my sister's school has just started doing them, and we are all chipping in smile i can't wait to see her all dressed up

Mrsrobertduvall Mon 23-Jan-12 12:03:03

How old are they 11 or 16?
At 11 a prom is unnecessary and naff. They just need a bit of a bop, not a formal expensive "do".
So glad our schools didn't do it.

woollyideas Mon 23-Jan-12 12:03:47

Yes, Kayano - it's competitive consumerism. My DD already went to a prom when she left primary school, which made me a bit hmm... all these eleven year olds in full make up, arriving in hired limos. Now we've got it coming up again next year at the end of Year 11.

pengymum Mon 23-Jan-12 12:04:59

What's a Prom? Is it leaving junior school or secondary school?
Juniors have a Yr 6 Leavers party, theme chosen by the children. Not sure about what the teenagers get up to as not got any that age and I just went to naff Leavers Disco at the end of my school days!

webwiz Mon 23-Jan-12 12:06:13

My DDs had school proms - I made their dresses, they had new shoes and handbags and I helped with hair and make up. DD1 did go in a limo but as there were a large group of them it wasn't hugely expensive but DD2 walked from a friends house who lived near to school. Its a nice occasion but not worth a Prom "Fayre" and I think its hugely irresponsible of the school to have anything to do with companies trying to drum up business on the back of what is in effect a leavers disco.

Backtobedlam Mon 23-Jan-12 12:07:05

I think it's a shame it's got so OTT. My dp took a friends son to his prom as he wanted to go in a nice car, so dp agreed thinking it would be a bit of a treat but nothing major. He was surprised to see all the kids were stood outside watching who got out of what car, cheering of they arrived in something 'flashy' and booing those that arrived in older cars.

It sounded horrendous and puts so much pressure on parents. Imagine seeing your child get booed because you don't or can't afford the best car. This was our local state school, not a private school btw.

squeakytoy Mon 23-Jan-12 12:07:43

I find all this prom stuff absolutely OTT and ridiculous. Bring back the good old school disco and stop creating spoilt monsters out of children who use the prom as yet another bullying tool to pick on the kids whose parents cant afford to spend a fortune on dresses and limos and whatever other shite that is "absolutely vital" or you cant have fun.

exaspomum Mon 23-Jan-12 12:07:50

YANBU. A 'Prom Fair' sounds awful IMO. At least one of the school leavers at DC's school has decided that he won't go to his prom as he doesn't want to have to spend a fortune and take part in its wild excesses. Whereas if they were just having a dance or a meal followed by a ceilidh somewhere locally he would go.

Groovee Mon 23-Jan-12 12:09:48

We have Qually's which is mostly a ceilidh and the P7's invite all the staff and other important people such as their student teachers, Minister, PTA and other parent helpers.

And we have hired them a limo.

thepeoplesprincess Mon 23-Jan-12 12:10:45

Stupid Yankee shite. Bah huimbug. We didn't even have a disco in my day (or if we did I certainly wasn't invited)

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets Mon 23-Jan-12 12:15:35

A few years ago my younger sister was browsing Facebook photos and she pointed put some 'poor girl' who did her own hair and make up for her prom. angry imagine, a 15yo putting her hair in a ponytail and a bit of mascara not done by a professional? Oh the shame! grin
My sister got a good telling off not to be so snobby and thankfully she seems to have changed.
My leavers disco was exactly that, my lovely outfit was from C&A, but I do remember being very jealous of the girls whose outfits were from River Island!

Scholes34 Mon 23-Jan-12 12:33:22

We've one to "look forward to" next year. But it's nice to know they call it a ball rather than a prom.

sue52 Mon 23-Jan-12 12:40:24

Bad American import. What's wrong with an old fashioned disco and visit to to the pub? Lots of schools have them for the 5th form and upper 6th so there's even more money to pay out.

Nanny0gg Mon 23-Jan-12 12:40:57

I'm glad they didn't have them in my day.
The terror I would have felt at not having a date, or wearing the wrong thing (my mum was never one for letting me be like the rest of the herd girls,)or following fashion.

It would have been hideous.

dixiechick1975 Mon 23-Jan-12 12:42:34

Never heard of a prom fayre feels old

Pandemoniaa Mon 23-Jan-12 12:52:18

Thankfully, proms were only a blot on the distant horizon when ds1 & 2 left school. There were the glimmerings of this imported shyte but they still had a "Leaver's Dance" which merely required them to dress up a little (if they wanted) and hang around the bike sheds smoking and snogging.

This year, I was invited to do some prom photography and quite honestly, for every child who thought it was brilliant, there was an equal number who were totally stressed about the whole thing. It was hugely competitive and anyone whose parents couldn't supply a limo/stretch Hummer/helicopter or hundreds of pounds worth of frock (with professionally done hair and make-up) felt they'd failed to cut it somehow. The parental stress had to be seen to be believed too!

Surely, any event to mark the end of school should be as much fun as possible for as many as possible? Not an opportunity for young people to feel inadequate?

Ghoulwithadragontattoo Mon 23-Jan-12 12:53:41

It sounds horribly over commercialised.

Fillybuster Mon 23-Jan-12 12:53:55

Oh god, I've got all this to come, haven't I? <shudders>

YANBU smile

Alphafemale Mon 23-Jan-12 12:55:03

Oh you're so right woolyideas, it's all out of control. I merely dropped my child at the prom but there were lots of limos and photos and it was way over the top for an English junior school tbh.

catsmother Mon 23-Jan-12 12:56:56

I've long felt proms place dreadful pressure upon both parents and kids to take part in something which they literally might not be able to afford. Yes - I understand bargains can be got on eBay etc., but what kind of bargain is it when you still end up spending money you don't have on something which may never be worn again ? (think this is especially true for girls, at least a smart suit (rather than tux) for a boy can be potentially be used for work sometime in the future) Ditto the cost of hiring outfits .... cheaper than buying (usually) but still an expense nonetheless. In contrast, most kids would be able to utilise the clothes they already had for a school disco.

I think that right now, with things being so hard financially for so many families, that it's actually quite insensitive for schools to continue with the whole prom thing where even the budget option could be a real worry. And of course, you can't help feeling somewhat emotionally blackmailed - not necessarily by the kids themselves, but by the school - when the whole thing might be hyped up so much (prom fair WTF ?!) and few parents want to see their kids "left out" or worse, picked on and/or teased because they don't go.

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