To be so annoyed with my DS1 Year 6 teacher

[viktoria]

Slightly long story, please bear with me:
Last week I had surgery, came home from hospital and a couple of days later, on Friday while I still tried tried to recover my DS1 was sick in the night and then again in the morning and therefore couldn't go to school.
On Monday (the first day my husband went back to work) DS1 went back to school and after 1 hour I had a phone call from school that DS2 had been sick in school and could I get him. I physically couldn't get to school because I didn't feel well enough, so a friend picked up DS2 who then proceeded to be sick for 10 hours, and has been off sick from school ever since (was sick again last night and can't eat). So this week has been a nightmare, me trying to recover while looking after a poorly 8 year old DS2.
Yesterday DS1 came home in tears: on the Friday he was off sick from school his class was told to complete 15 pages in their Maths Practice book (which prepares them for the SATS); on Monday when I had asked DS1 what homework he had, he told me the only homework they got was to practice their lines for tomorrow's assembly - they don't usually get homework on a Friday, so I didn't think anymore of it. Anyway, yesterday he came home in tears (at 5.20pm, because on Wednesday the whole Year 6 has SATS practice) because today their maths homework was in and he was to complete the 15 pages in one evening rather than 5.5 days. I tried to calm him down and reassured him, we would do as much as possible and I would speak with his teacher today.
When we opened his school bag he realised that he had forgotten his maths book at school. So, this morning, as I couldn't take DS1 to school as I had to stay home with sick DS2, my husband specifically took time off in the morning to take DS1 to school (who was still really upset and worried - he worries a lot!) and speak to his teacher to apologise and reassure him that DS1 would do it over the weekend and catch up with any other work.
Today DS1 comes home from school again in tears - he now has to finish the 15 pages tonight (1 page takes him about 30 minutes, so there is no way he can do it properly) and the teacher said to him "My mum NEVER came in to speak to MY teacher".
What do we do? I am so pissed off, I want to just do the whole 15 pages and just tell DS1 what to write (rather than help him with questions he gets stuck on, which is what I usually do). I also want to speak to the headmaster and complain about the attitude of the teacher. DS1 is not an easy child - he takes criticism very badly, he is super sensitive and we find it often difficult to negotiate with him - we don't want to tell him always that he's brilliant, but he really thrives on positive feedback and internalises every criticism and swallows it and then really goes over and over in his head about every detail of the criticism. He is average in maths and in my opinion could do much better if he was more confident.
I appreciate that I am seething just now and might not make the most sensible decision. Any suggestions how to deal with this the best?
And, tomorrow morning is DS1 assembly to which both my husband and I are going and I now feel like totally blanking the teacher. Agghhh - I'm so pissed off!

[OriginalJamie]

I also have a DC is year 6 and I think it's a bit ridiculous how much pressure they are put under to get good SATs to benefit the school ......

What did the teacher say in reply to your DH when he said it would be done over the weekend?

[OriginalJamie]

Can you clarify - how many times did he forget his book?

[viktoria]

He forgot it once - yesterday, the first time he was told he had to do the 15 pages.
When my husband told the teacher this morning that DS1 would catch up with the missed work over the weekend, the teacher said that that would be fine.

Yes, agree, SATs are ridiculous, especially bearing in mind that all they do is to measure the school. Meanwhile the Y6 pupils themselves have to do numerous assessment and banding tests for various secondary schools - I'm still angry!
I understand that especially the Y6 teachers are under enormous pressure themselves; still, that doesn't excuse it in my opinion - he is the adult, my DS1 is 10.

[Almostfifty]

If the teacher told your husband it would be fine over the weekend, then you stick to that. Put a note in his bag saying that it will be done by Monday, as agreed by your husband and him/herself.

[Diamondsareagirls]

That does sound like an excessive amount of homework to get is such a short amount of time. I think YAB a bit U to be so annoyed at the teacher as I think it was a combination or timings, your DS forgetting his Maths book etc that has lead to this situation. Perhaps the teacher should have been more understanding with your DS because he is so sensitive to criticism. It was obviously an important one though as it was for the SATs

When he starts Secondary next in Sept the amount of homework will massively increase so it is best to address these issues/ anxieties with him asap. It can be a nightmare organising so much homework at home so I feel for you OP!

[MildlyNarkyPuffin]

I'd say maybe Ms X had a better teacher.

I'd see the head and hand them a note saying your child will not be doing any homework for the forseeable future.

[noblegiraffe]

15 pages at 30 minutes a page is a ridiculous amount of work, even over 5 days.

Make him do a reasonable amount of work, then put a note in saying you didn't have enough time to complete any more and that he'd spent a hour (or whatever) on it.

[Popoozle]

bloody SATS! DS2 is also in Year 6 and homework has now become one 15 page maths booklet a week and a 25 page, A4 size comprehension exercise per week. Hard enough, even without your added circumstances.

In all honesty, I'd write a note or e-mail the Headteacher and class teacher concerned saying that your DS will catch up over the weekend as already suggested. But then just make sure he doesn't forget the booklet on Monday!

I really wouldn't mind if the SATS were a crucial stage of the DCs education .

[viktoria]

I've calmed down a bit - thanks all.

I know that Secondary School will be a big shock - but generally we are very organised with homework and that seems to make DS1 feel safe and he is good about doing his work - he will always sit down and say - I have to do my work first, then I play.

I think I did exaggerate a bit: we did 9 pages in 2 hours just now.

noblegiraffe, thank you - I think it's a good idea to finish now and to put a note in to say we would do the rest as agreed over the weekend.

It really made me laugh to read MildlyNarkyPuffin "maybe Mr X had a better teacher"

Yes, maybe I'm being a BU - it's just been a hellish week (or two) with me being unwell and recovering and both DS being ill as well.
Has helped to get other opinions - thank you!

[Popoozle]

Oh, and just to add, if DS2 is away from school for any reason (illness, dental appointment etc.) he is expected to check with the literacy & numeracy teachers when he returns to ask if there was any homework set. The school will not accept "I was away the day it was set" as an excuse/reason for not having the booklets either - so maybe that is fairly standard by Year 6?

[OriginalJamie]

Having moaned, I'd now say my DCs school is positively laissez faire ... 25-page booklets. My son would freak!

[shewhowines]

I told mine that SATS are to measure the school not the child so they were not to worry about them at all. I said that for their own pride they should put in a bit of extra work to do the best they could but that it did not matter what their grade was really as it was silly that there was all this fuss just to make the school look good.

Children have enough pressure in this day and age.

[OriginalJamie]

I haven't actually said that to mine because he's inclined to laziness, but I don't want pressure to set him up for feeling alienated before he even starts the difficult business of starting Secondary.

I have the utmost sympathy for teachers, BTW.

[OriginalJamie]

.. I meant alienated from education/school

[seeker]

I would find out the story from the teacher- it sounds bonkers the way you're telling it- 7.5 hours homework for one evening? Are you sure you've got the whole story, or has your ds misunderstood something? Ask her tomorrow.

[cory]

I did the same as shewhowines

there were children at dd's school who developed real anxiety problems because they believed that the Yr 6 SATS were a terribly important exam that would determine their future

tbh if he has 25 page booklets, secondary might come as a pleasant holiday

[marriedinwhite]

Oh, I think I would send him in with a little note on Monday:

Dear Mrs xxxx

As you will see ds1 has completed all the maths work set last week. I do apologise for the delay but as you shoudl be aware I was in hospital last week and both boys were unwell with a sickness bug at a very difficult time for us all.

DS 1 has been very distressed as a result of both my illness and the maths homework over which there was an unavoidable delay. However, I woudl like to take this opportunity to thank you for your ongoing support.

I'm sure ds1's performance in the sats exam will reflect the teaching he has received at xxxxx school for the last seven years and that last week's hiatus will not have a noticeable impact.

If you have any concerns at all about ds, please don't hesitate to contact me either in the playground or by telephone on: xxx x xx xxxxx so that we can continue to work together to help ds.

with best wishes

Yours sincerely

Viktoria

Can you think of a politer way of saying I've got the measure of you lady, support ds or come and deal with a grown up. x

[merlin]

25 page booklets?!!!! Bloody hell!!!!

[breatheslowly]

I imagine that the teacher's mum didn't love him enough to go into school and talk to his teachers.

[teacherwith2kids]

DS (Year 6) has done.... precisely 0 hours of SATs related homework. He has done a very interesting history project, he has had weekly 'exploration and extension' maths homework, and he had to prepare a maths lesson to teach the year below. Oh, and a 'find out about somewhere in France' homework which he chose to take in the direction of researching the European parliament (odd child).

he has done 1 full set of SATs papers as a 'baseline' for the year, at the beginning of the year.

He has done 1 Maths paper since - a level 6 one at the end of term, to see how he handled that harder paper.

As I understand it, he will do 1, perhaps 2 at the outside, further practice papers in each subject over the course of the year (1 Maths, 1 Writing, 1 Reading).

The rest of the time, he is taught, and learns, new things. Sometimes I need reminding how much I love his school (bog standard state, with exceptionally high value added scores)

[OriginalJamie]

Yes, DSs school seems more along the lines of your, teacher. They are doing some great stuff this year, albeit they are doing more frequent assessments. But the pressure is kind of "around" because he's got some catching up to do.

I have a pretty good feeling that he'll love Secondary.

[FlightRisk]

Is it the comment that has angered you more op? I would be angered by this comment too. One of the teachers made a sarky comment (for no reason) to my DS, not knowing that I was in earshot. When she turned around and saw I was standing there she looked at me embarrassed and worried. I simply told her there was no need for that. She soon hurried off.

I think professional people taking care of children need to kurb their comments as they can be mis-construde or not understood very well and not be taken very well. If that comment to your DS was meant in the way it was relayed then I would complain to the head.

[lurkinginthebackground]

Oh the fantastic sats year where children learn........er how to pass a sats test.

I was so glad when ds's school refused to take part when he was in year 6 and they actually taught the children very important life skills, took them on a residential, did a social experiment which he talks about to this day and of course taught them literacy and maths thus enabeling my ds to be enrolled on the secondary schools G&T register for science and maths. Of course, the schools which did sats paid little attention to science as that wasn't tested that particular year.