Like another poster tonight (who got me thinking) I've also told dp im not marrying him he first proposed wheel ds1 was born but asked me not to tell anyone till I had a ring , he gave me a ring 3 years later a few months later we booked a venue and then I found out I was pg so cancelled.
2 months later I miscarried I wanted to re arrange wedding for a few months later to give me something to focus on, he didn't want to tell anyone / do anything to arrange / save for it. Meantime his bf decides to get married in the same month wed originally booked for AND he was expecting a baby with his gf irrational as this seems to me who'd just gone through a mc I was gutted and felt like if dp cared he'd want to arrange to get married to me.
If anyone asked comments on our long engagement he always tells them well prob get married next year and tells them theyll be invited and talks about how he'd rather wait to save up for a big wedding. Yet he's not Intrested in the practicalltys of actully saving up / suggests my parents could pay.
Anyway I got pg again so now we've ben together nearly 7 years with now2 kids and no wedding he now says that he doesn't want to get married till he's 30 (4 years ) I say screw it im not Intrested anymore well just live together I'll get no monetry advantage from being married and I hate the feeling he's in charge of when/if we get married.
And it hurts me that we've been together this long with 2 kids and he doesn't seem to actully want to get married and to watch numerous couples get married after a year or so together and having the special day/ being husband and wife . I don't wear my ring cause I feel silly about wearing it yet not being properly engaged
Aibu to answer people who ask when were getting married with never?
AIBU?
To not get married ?
Notnapping · 30/11/2011 21:31
I frequently - sometimes daily - turn down Mr Inferior's proposals 
'I just feel quite alone in the thinking that you don't have to be married to be a REAL couple'
I'm completely with you Notnapping so don't feel alone 
I'm a marriage refuser too - DP and I been together 6 years, very happy thank you and not interested in marriage for many reasons
We are lucky though in that we don't have DCs and aren't planning any ever. I think it's really important OP that you have proper financial protection as you have two DCs together. Wiser MNers than me can advise you on the detals but I know you can organise it all via a solicitor. I'm sorry to say it does sound like your DP is less than keen on the idea of marriage. That doens't mean he's not committed to you and the DCs though. I suggest having a good talk about it and putting both your cards on the table.
To be honest everything is owned by me so I don't need to worry about financial protection and there's no pensions etc..
So it'd be him that loses out not me
Your not alone, we have been engaged for ages, first the delay was that DP was still married (nothing to do with me just to make that clear - just no idea where his ex was), then his sister booked our her wedding (same place and month 
), then it was money (decided to move to a bigger house etc using up savings), then DD came along. Now I'm past caring, the overwhelming desire to be his wife has gone, we are as committed as we will ever be (financially and with DD), and as an equal/sometimes main wage earner the financial benefits arn't there for me! And my surname is much better than poor DP's!! (I know I don't have to take it)
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And gold plated bowl Josie only the best
And akissisnot I know but if the shoe were on the other foot and I was a man id be flames for that wouldn't I ?
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