SIL deleted me off facebook - AIBU to be angry?

[Redhotmama80]

I need to know whether I'm being unreasonable about this. My BIL's wife has deleted me from facebook and its really pissed me off. I realised about an hour ago when I tried to include her in a group invite for the next girly night out with me and the other female relatives of my DP. Anyway I text BIL to say I couldn't reach her on FB and what was going on. He said he'd make her contact me and explain. So she text me and said she was just deleting people from FB that she didn't interact with much and that there was no drama. WTF!! we are practically family! 

So I replied, saying that I thought it was weird but she couldn't say I hadn't tried to make an effort with her. She then replied again and said she hadn't meant to cause any offence and hoped things wouldn't be awkward. She also said she'd had a bad experience on FB recently that put her off the whole thing and also that she's pregnant and stressed out as she & BIL are carriers of a genetic disorder and they are waiting to do a cvs test. 

Well I'm sorry that she's having a bad time with her pregnancy but I don't think that excuses her rudeness. I text her again to say that although i wish her well with the pregnancy yes, things WOULD be awkward now, that she's never made any effort with me or my children and that this just feels like a slap in the face. Also that I've got my own issues to deal with and that this really doesn't help! Anyway she didn't reply after that. 

Am I being U? I'm getting married next week and am so stressed about everything, I really don't need this. And I honestly have tried to make an effort with her but it feels like it's all been thrown back in my face and this is just the final straw. 

We've never really clicked. She's really quiet and doesn't have many friends so when they moved to our town, I tried to include her by inviting her on girls nights but she always made an excuse so I stopped asking. I never disliked her until an incident last year, on facebook, ironically enough. I posted a bit of a rant about obesity (it's something I do have strong opinions about) and she made quite a snarky reply to the effect that the obesity epidemic is just a moral panic. I felt really pissed off and patronised about that and since then I've actively disliked her. I think she's quite jealous of me as I'm naturally very slim and she's about a size 14-16. Apart from that, she's always polite but not over friendly and like I said, I have NEVER felt that she's made any effort with me or with my children. 

That's it, in a nutshell. AIBU???

[rushofbloodtothefeet]

YABU

Fakebook is not real life.

And we choose our friends not our family, you can't force a friendship out of this

[MenopausalHaze]

YAB totally U I'm afraid. In the grand scheme of things Facebook is very unimportant and it sounds like she's got quite enough on her plate without you throwing a FB hissy!

And what's with the texting for fuck's sake? Why not ring her up and make a real life effort?

[rocksandhardplaces]

YABU.

You don't click, you don't seem to like her but you say she makes no effort... and then you have a pop at her about something utterly trivial when she is in the middle of a living nightmare?

HUGELY U.

[pictish]

wow

[PludolphTheRedNosedReindeer]

Yes, you are being unreasonable. In relaying her reasons even you have made her sound very calm, even quite dignified.

[pooka]

Yes yabu.

She's obviously seen you spouting stuff that she might take personally (I.e. the obesity post).

You seem completely unconcerned about what's going on in her life, with the cvs and genetic concerns. While saying you're stressed and can't take any re because you're getting married.

It seems all me me me. From your side. Good on her for being polite. Not surprised she's not especially friendly.

[rootietootie]

no, YANBU, if any of my family deleted me off facebook i'd be at the very least, slightly hurt and tbh pretty pissed off. It doesnt cost anything to be friends on facebook, and it uses more energy to delete someone than just leaving it.

[uniCorny]

we have turkey at christmas

[helpmabob]

This can only be solved by talking to her face to face.

And I agree with her about the issue of obesity (runs off to hide) not that it is relevant but you did bring it up.

Anyway maybe she just hates facebook and is a more solitary person.

[crypes]

People sometimes use fb purely for fun and can get embarrassed if personal stuff is exchanged on it, praps she thinks conversation with you would be too personal and confidential for sharing on fb

[Sandalwood]

You say yourself you "actively dislike her".
Why should she have you on her facebook.

[EverybodysScaryEyed]

Um, maybe her issue on facebook was your 'rant' and subsequent 'hate' for her

not really sure why you expect to be her facebook friend given the way you feel about her

and what everyone else said

[ifitsnotanarse]

This sounds a bit jackanory...

[Schnarkle]

FFs YABU its facebook. Is she not included now in the next night out as she's not on your facebook circle? Just think about how mad that sounds.

[funnypeculiar]

I think you're over-reacting because you're stressed about the wedding. Tbh, it sounds like your BIL & SIL are having a tough time & could have done with a bit of understanding. Lots of people don't like fb, for all sorts of different reasons.

Oh, and posting rants about obesity is probably not the most sensitive use of fb...

[FabbyChic]

Hey you should have deleted her sounds like a right miserable cow.

[Sevenfold]

yabu
I deleted my SIL and her family after she pissed me off on fb.
I still talk to her in RL.
you also don't sound very nice with your "she is jealous of me" comment

[LemonDifficult]

YABU very and childish and just lame

[said]

Jeeze, you need to calm down! Unless you're just trying for another unanimous FB AIBU thread

[rocksandhardplaces]

And whatever stress you think you are having about your wedding, multiply it by at least a million and you still won't come close to the stress she is experiencing waiting to find out if her child will have a genetic disorder.

[squeakytoy]

It is facebook. You havent been cut off from the family. You have simply been taken off her facebook list, and if you are a regular "ranter" or a "I bet 95% of people dont repost this" status type of person, I can see why she would delete you.

[pooka]

Is this going to end up being another of those recent Facebook threads where someone is outraged at their sil - like the one where the op was cross that her sister had called her dh up on posting racist "Christmas has been banned" post?

And then was never seen again.

[hopenglory]

so very, very U

[JingleAllTheSoddingWay]

Wow.

I would delete you off FB if you where my "friend" too.

I actually think it's YOU who's rude. Your SIL sounds lovely.