To not give a flying fig about every single second of dh workday

[mrspeedoff]

ok Dh is due home soon im so not in the mood for his nightly rants about customers/managers etc etc , hes having problems with a manager at the moment and for the last 5 weeks its all ive heard , even if i change the subject or glaze over he doesnt care he just goes on and on , SO should i be supportive and listen till it blows over or should i tell him to just SHUSH for 5 minutes !!

[SenoritaViva]

I have the opposite problem!

Nevertheless how about saying to him, 'Darling DH, I know you've had a rough day and so have I, let's not make our day worse by hearing about each other's rubbish days instead. Let's have a cup of tea and XXX' (XXX is anything suitable from plan a holiday, have rampant sex, play a board game with the kids, enjoy 5 minutes peace and quiet)

[allhailtheaubergine]

I think you should listen tonight as you have been doing, but then once it's out of his system you need to say "Look, I know work is stressful for you at the moment, but I am not convinced it is helpful for you to relive the whole thing again once you get home when you should be relaxing and enjoying the nice part of your day. How about we have a 15 minute window when you get in for you to get it all out of your system, and then work talk is banned for the rest of the evening?"

Then you need to have lots of conversation topics (or a film, or go out with friends) so he doesn;t get the opportunity to rant on and on.

[Nesbo]

If you were having major struggles each day would you expect him to listen and be supportive?

You could always try saying something like "well, you're home now so try to relax and leave the stress for when they are paying you". Might help him to leave the troubles behind after only a very brief vent!

[mrspeedoff]

Thanks ladies i know it cant be easy for him but you are right its not helping anybody with him going on and on all night last night i snapped a bit not like me , and told him I was watching TV and to shut up thing is he doesnt listen im sure hes just talking at me and not to me , I will try the approach of tell me you have X minutes then thats it ,

[Hassled]

DH works away now so it's no longer a problem, but I used to get the Evening Rant as well. An endless stream of consciousness re people I didn't know and IT systems I didn't understand.

I think you need to talk about it with him - make it clear that it's not that you don't care, it's that you don't know the people and you have your own day to think about. And then maybe agree to put a cap on the time allowed to rant? It is important to be able to off-load - don't stop it altogether.

[BarbieDahl]

My dh does this, he has a very stressful job and always needs to unload when he gets home. I try to be supportive and nod and commiserate at appropriate moments but tbh it just goes in one ear and out the other. it takes a lot of skill to look interested whilst mentally composing my shopping list for the next day or wondering what's on telly . Aubergine has a good idea as my dp finds it impossible to switch off.

[mrspeedoff]

Barbie i seem to have lost the ability to nod and smile these last few weeks though thats what my problem is , im not coping witht he manager drama and sometimes TBH dh doesnt help himself so i cant always be as supportive as he would like , and usually when he gets to this point he looks for a new job but there isnt any jobs out there and this has been his longest job yet and the money is decent , Oh well im going to try the suggestion of either rampant sex or get him to tell me it all at once then shhhh for the rest of the evening, as when hes in this mood he doesnt really want to listen to me ,