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... to think it's rude to ask for cash as a birthday gift?

(36 Posts)
shubiedoo Tue 25-Oct-11 20:49:14

Ds1 is invited to a classmate's party on Friday, and I asked the mum what he was into, seeing what sort of gift he'd like. I often buy gifts in sales and put them aside for parties in case I don't have much time to shop, books or small Lego sets etc. She actually said, "oh a gift card would be great", and named several shops!
Of course that is the easiest option, and I see where she's coming from. But now I have to actually spend a certain amount and I feel slightly annoyed. What do you think?

usualsuspect Tue 25-Oct-11 20:50:47

You asked her ,she told you, so

YABU

SansaLannister Tue 25-Oct-11 20:52:55

She didn't ask for cash, she asked for gift cards.

Angelico Tue 25-Oct-11 20:53:30

In this situation I think it's a little rude for her to want cash but as usualsuspect says you asked. If you prefer to get a gift you should go ahead, assuming you know the child's tastes.

SurprisEs Tue 25-Oct-11 20:53:34

It's not rude at all. You asked and she answered.

Me and DH have asked for money or gift cards for Christmas as we are facing difficulties and have a few things to buy for DC2.

whatacrapstressfulday Tue 25-Oct-11 20:54:31

yes, I think it's a wee bit rude.

shubiedoo Tue 25-Oct-11 20:55:13

Hmm, well I didn't ask, do you want a gift card or not, I asked what sort of toys he liked, there is a difference.

usualsuspect Tue 25-Oct-11 20:55:53

Then why ask?

Just give a gift you already have

Squiglettsmummy2bx Tue 25-Oct-11 20:56:57

I think it is rude to ask this from a school friend as you then need to give a set amount of money & it is clear what you have spent where you could get an expensive present in the sales for a bargain price & no one would know. With family & close friends it is a different matter but then you know more about the person you are buying for anyway.

MissVerydead Tue 25-Oct-11 20:57:20

She was probably trying to make things a bit easier for you.

I always give gist cards because I cannot. be. bothered. with shopping for birthday presents for children that cost no more than about £15. It's usually tat or crap.

At least gift cards can be pooled towards something bigger and more meaningful.

MissVerydead Tue 25-Oct-11 20:57:55

Good grief, gift

Chrysanthemum5 Tue 25-Oct-11 20:58:05

DS had his birthday recently and some of the mums got together and bought a gift card for a toy shop. It was great - it meant they spent £5 each (which is the maximum I'd want to spend) and DS was able to buy a toy he'd wanted for ages. However he did also get some gifts which was great because opening a toy is fun, opening a gift card is dull.

Anyway you asked, the mum answered - personally I think asking for a gift card is a bit rude. If you've got presents in stock I'd give one of those

SirHumphreyAppleby Tue 25-Oct-11 20:58:35

Course it's rude. It means you have to pay a certain amount, or you will look mean. No chance of getting a great gift for a bargain price.

shubiedoo Tue 25-Oct-11 21:00:13

Exactly squiglett! I can't really get away with spending less than a certain amount when it's a gift card. I might get him something small and then give 10 on a gift card as well.

slavetofilofax Tue 25-Oct-11 21:00:25

I think if you asked, it's fair enough that she stated a preference.

The fact that you buy gifts in sales or whatever is irrelevant if you asked what he wanted. We love getting vouchers or gift cards, because it's nice to go and spend them, and it helps the child learn about the value of money.

If you wanted to give a gift that you chose or that you had already picked up in a sale, why would you ask?? confused

What woud you have done if you had a stash of book and lego sets ready for parties, asked what they wanted, and then they said something that you didn't have? It's the same difference.

shubiedoo Tue 25-Oct-11 21:00:40

And Humphrey, same sentiment!

SurprisEs Tue 25-Oct-11 21:01:34

If OP had gifts at home why did she ask? Should've just picked one.

usualsuspect Tue 25-Oct-11 21:01:54

I would get a fiver gift card ,its not a competition to see who spends the most on presents

MissVerydead Tue 25-Oct-11 21:02:48

Shubiedoo I think that is a good idea.

Catsdontcare Tue 25-Oct-11 21:03:12

She didn't ask for cash she asked for a gift card. And actually you asked she answered so yabu. If you have budget in mind or surplus gifts at home then it's best not to ask! I actually think it's quite nice when kids get given something very different to what they are normally into so I never ask!

Catsdontcare Tue 25-Oct-11 21:05:12

Also there is nothing wrong with a five pound gift voucher.

usualsuspect Tue 25-Oct-11 21:06:55

No ,anyone who thought that was mean would have to lump it I'm afraid

verlainechasedrimbauds Tue 25-Oct-11 21:07:09

OP do you judge people by how much they spend on gifts, or how much you think they have spent? I don't. If someone gave a £2 gift voucher, I wouldn't think any less of them than if they gave a £20 voucher. I'd think it was kind that they had given something. You asked "what he was in to". She might know that all the things he is "into" cost loads of money, so I think asking for a gift card rather than a toy is quite thoughtful actually, especially if she suggested several shops.

shubiedoo Tue 25-Oct-11 21:08:42

Well, we're in Canada and you really can't get much for $5, even $10 looks a bit mean! This child moved from another school last year so we just met them, I was being polite...

shubiedoo Tue 25-Oct-11 21:10:11

That's a good point Verlaine (and I like French lit too!)

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