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To not give him pudding?

(62 Posts)
Magneto Mon 24-Oct-11 18:26:20

Ds will not eat his tea every single bloody night. He eats breakfast, he eats lunch (generally sandwiches/scrambled egg/pasta) but will absolutely not eat his tea. I have even offered weetabix but he won't have that either. He's 15 months and used to be a great eater.

I will not offer alternatives - I know he would eat a pudding (any pudding!) but you don't get pudding without eating tea in this house, which is why I offered weetabix.

The problem is he is waking up earlier each day! I have to get up at 5am for work anyway but for the last 3 days he's woken at 3-30 to 4am because he is hungry. He doesn't need a bottle at night so I am loathe to reintroduce one which means I have to treat it as morning and get up so he can have his morning bottle.

What am I doing wrong? I'm really at the end of my tether now.

worraliberty Mon 24-Oct-11 18:28:23

How long after his lunch are you giving him tea?

Magneto Mon 24-Oct-11 18:31:42

Lunch is 12-1, tea is 5-6.

Problem is now I think about it I dint know what time MIL gives him lunch when I'm at work but I'd imagine it's a similar time. It's hit and miss how much he'll eat at hers too.

Upwardandonward Mon 24-Oct-11 18:32:21

A cup of milk in the evening?

SilverMachine Mon 24-Oct-11 18:35:07

Could it be that he's too tired at teatime to eat?

Also, does he have an afternoon snack?

Magneto Mon 24-Oct-11 18:35:42

He has a bottle of milk (full fat cows milk) when he wakes up and before he goes to bed, about 9oz in each bottle.

In fact while I was trying to give him the weetabix he went to the kitchen and took an empty bottle out the cupboard and handed me that. Cheeky beggar hmm

thereistheball Mon 24-Oct-11 18:36:07

That sounds very young to be allowing a toddler to skip a whole meal. No wonder he's hungry at night - he won't have eaten solid food for 10 hours by that point? I'd be up in the night too.

When my DD did this I offered her pudding (fruit or yoghurt) first to get her appetite going, like a starter, then gave her the main course afterwards. She often finished it. Kids this small sometimes need prompting to realise they are hungry.

Wooooooooooooooppity Mon 24-Oct-11 18:38:31

Your MIL's probably filling him up with tons of food at lunch.

I don't know if it's still the fashion, but when mine were that age,. the advice was not to make pudding, the sweet food etc., the "golden" food, the desirable one, that you had to eat horrible stuff to get to, as they would then grow up thinking that sweet stuff was better blah di blah. Having said that, both mine still think sweet stuff is the bees knees so am not sure it works...

What about something healthy like rice pudding mixed with fruit? That way, you'd know he was getting some carb and milk, and fruit is healthy. You could even smuggle sweet ingredients in like squash or sweet potato. Hell you could probably smuggle a little bit of chicken in alongside it. And he'd think he was eating pudding.

muriel76 Mon 24-Oct-11 18:39:12

What would pudding be? If it's banana, yoghurt etc and not a giant slab of Dairy Milk then I would just give it to him.

He's 15 months, he isn't mucking you about, he's still a baby. He might not want a big tea but a little snack and then some bedtime milk - that might well be enough to settle him.

Try not to make it a battle - I know that's easier said than done but really at this age he is just telling you what he does or doesn't like!

Good luck - sounds like you have a horrendously early start so sleep must be in short supply in the first place.

Magneto Mon 24-Oct-11 18:39:57

He could be tired I suppose, we can't do tea any earlier though (I struggle with 5pm, dh and used to eat at 8pm pre ds!) what time would you recommend an afternoon snack?

He's also stopped napping in the afternoon, still has one in the morning (2 hours long - probably because he's so tiredbeing up before dawn!).

Is this one of those stages where everything changes again and it's a nightmare until they settle down? Like the 4 month sleep regression?

<this too shall pass, this too shall pass sad >

AgentZigzag Mon 24-Oct-11 18:40:06

If he's not hungry enough to eat tea, then he's not hungry enough for pud.

But then he's only 15 months and I would mostly apply the above to a 3/4/5 YO who's trying it on messing about.

At 15 months I would say just give him what he'll eat, (within reason of course, it couldn't be greggs/cola bottles all the way grin) when he's hungry, plenty time to get into well defined meal times.

AgentZigzag Mon 24-Oct-11 18:41:25

It will pass and get much worse grin

So long as you're putting stuff in front of him, he'll make sure he won't starve.

Wooooooooooooooppity Mon 24-Oct-11 18:42:16

Avocado and banana? Again, feels like pudding but full of good stuff. You can mix that with rice/ potato as well.

BattyDevineIntervention Mon 24-Oct-11 18:43:28

"but you don't get pudding without eating tea in this house, which is why I offered weetabix"

"the last 3 days he's woken at 3-30 to 4am because he is hungry. He doesn't need a bottle at night so I am loathe to reintroduce one which means I have to treat it as morning and get up so he can have his morning bottle"

You are overthinking this.

What exactly are you scared of if you don't do what you imply your beliefs/rules are in the two quotes above?

What will happen if he has "pudding" (lets call that fresh fruit and natural yogurt for arguments sake) having not finished his dinner, or if he has a bottle at 3:30 and goes back to sleep till 7am?

What is fueling these fears/rules and making you enforce them even if it means getting up at 3:30am?

Wooooooooooooooppity Mon 24-Oct-11 18:44:56

I don't think I made a distinction between main and pudding at that age.

It's all just food. As long as you're giving him proper, real, natural good food and it's balanced (IE a combination of different colours), it's all good.

SilverMachine Mon 24-Oct-11 18:51:07

Yes it will pass! smile

I have noticed with my dcs that tiredness does seem to be a factor in the teatime battles. It's very difficult though if its not practical to make tea any earlier.

A healthy afternoon snack could be an idea at about 2.30-3pm (not too much to spoil his dinner and depending of course on whether he is hungry at this time)

Another idea may be to swap his meals so he has his main meal at lunchtime and maybe a smaller meal later on?

Magneto Mon 24-Oct-11 18:56:29

Ok he's had an entire jar of "mango and apricot with yoghurt" (all I could find at short notice blush - big payday shop next week) and is now eating a banana. I knew he'd eat it - he never turns down anything sweet whether it's fruit or not.

He was 8 months old before he started sleeping through, previously he never went more than 2 and a half hours without a feed, I had to gradually reduce his feeds and try to get him to take more with each feed instead. So by feeding him at 3.30am and putting him back to bed I'm worried he will think this is normal and it will get worse again.

squeakyfreakytoy Mon 24-Oct-11 18:59:57

Blimey, I am one of the first on here to say kids shouldnt dictate the menu, but even I would made exception for a 15mth old who really doesnt understand the concept of mealtimes other than when he is actually hungry.

MrsBaggins Mon 24-Oct-11 19:01:10

Agree with Silver
Maybe swapping so he has a hot lunch (main meal) and some little sandwiches,breadsticks,cheese,ham , fromage frais etc for tea a bit earlier.
Mine once fell asleep face down into bowl at teatime grin

Magneto Mon 24-Oct-11 19:03:23

The thing is though squeaky, he is hungry, I know he's hungry, he knows he's hungry but he still won't eat unless I give him something sweet/fruity. All I ever see is "he'll eat when he's hungry" but he just won't sad

Grammaticus Mon 24-Oct-11 19:05:45

I think you need to stop getting him up when it's the middle of the night.

ouryve Mon 24-Oct-11 19:06:08

When my kids were little (and even now, to some extent, with DS2) I found that my kids ate a lot more if I let them eat the different components of their meals in whatever order they liked. Pudding was always something nutritious, such as fruit or yoghurt, so I would serve it up when we had finished eating our food, even if the boy concerned hadn't eaten much or any of his main course, yet. We got DS1 out of a big food refusing phase like that (partly because by doing that we'd become more relaxed about mealtimes so he couldn't feed off a bad atmosphere) and fussy DS2 has been far more willing to try new foods after a few mouthfuls of yoghurt.

LineRunnerIsBuriedAlive Mon 24-Oct-11 19:06:13

I relied on milk in similar circs.

mumofthreekids Mon 24-Oct-11 19:07:04

Mine are good eaters but all went through a fussy stage around this age so I agree it will pass.

Have you tried any other methods of getting him back to sleep when he wakes at 3.30am? Maybe he just wants a cuddle, some water etc? I understand that reintroducing a night time bottle feels like a step backwards, but for the sake of your sanity you can't keep starting the day at that hour!!

benandhollyandgaston Mon 24-Oct-11 19:19:25

"He could be tired I suppose, we can't do tea any earlier though (I struggle with 5pm, dh and used to eat at 8pm pre ds!)"

What do you mean by that sentence? Not interrogating! Just not sure I'm clear - are you all eating together at 5-6? Can't you feed the baby early and eat yourselves when he's in bed? I NEVER eat tea with my 3.2 yr old and 15mo <shudder at the thought>

Apologies if that's not what you meant.

Just wondered if you could do light tea at 4ish then piece of toast or weetabix before bed if he's not eaten much.

My 15mo only eats one or two good meals a day and she's fine with that. No bottles since 12mo and sleeps through ok.

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