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to not want to take dsd home this evening

(18 Posts)
mrskeithlemon Mon 24-Oct-11 16:32:03

I have been in work all day, her mother works part time.

I have got sinusitus, d is also poorly and doesn't drive and I just know i will be expected to take her home later on.

WIBU to tell dp as soon as I get through the door this evening that I am not up to running about and just want to chill so dsd's mum will have to collect her herself? I hate sounding mean and unhelpful but I need to just lie down I feel horrendous

SquishyCinnamonSwirls Mon 24-Oct-11 16:33:40

If you feel poorly text her yourself and ask her to come and collect. It's better she does that than you drive her daughter home feeling unwell or on medication and not really fit to drive for a prolonged period of time.

Bossybritches22 Mon 24-Oct-11 16:34:30

YANBU ...here have a lem-sip & get to bed. grin

Let the DP sort his own kid out for a change!

worraliberty Mon 24-Oct-11 16:36:43

YANBU

But YABU to leave it til you walk through the door.

Let your DP or his ex know as soon as you can.

Lotkinsgonecurly Mon 24-Oct-11 16:39:31

Why can't dp do it? Or take him back in a taxi if that's the arrangement that you drop him back? Let dp arrange it.....

mrskeithlemon Mon 24-Oct-11 16:45:31

there is no arrangement to be honest and it bugs the hell out of me. DSD's mum always asks dp over the phone 'can mrskeithlemon bring her home later please, dp has a bad bad habit of then asking me whilst on the phone to her and i feel i can't say no. She always uses the petrol excuse etc but we are in the same boat. I want to text her but feel i should ask dp to let her know i am unwell so i don't come across to be being awkward/unhelpful etc

I would ring your DP now and tell him that he'll have to tell DSD's Mum to come and pick her up because you are poorly and going to bed.

And then you can tell your DP to learn to drive and he can then ferry his child back and forth.

mrskeithlemon Mon 24-Oct-11 16:51:40

alibabaa he can't drive for medical reasons and i dont mind doing my bit, i just know i will be villified for saying no tonight

AgentZigzag Mon 24-Oct-11 17:05:38

You need something lined up for when your DP cheekily asks you in front of your DSDs mum.

'I can't'

or maybe

'No'

No reasons needed.

If he knows it annoys you, why does he keep asking when he's on the phone to her?

Surely he shouldn't need to, and can just say no without trying to force you into it?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Mon 24-Oct-11 17:09:05

You need to start saying that no you can't as you don't have any petrol in your car either!

colken Mon 24-Oct-11 17:10:09

Have they heard of taxis? Or has the mother a neighbour or friend or another relation or social services a volunteer from the Salvation Army if she's that desperate?

Maryz Mon 24-Oct-11 17:28:19

If you need a reason don't say "I am not up to running about and just want to chill", say "I feel sick and dizzy and I don't feel it would be safe for me to drive".

Specifics, always specifics smile. That way she can't argue - she won't want to be seen to be putting her dd in danger.

mynewpassion Mon 24-Oct-11 17:31:59

How does the DSD get to your home? If her mom brings her to your house, I think its only fair that you and your DP figure a way to send her home.

If you guys are doing both, then I think the mother can do her part. And as this is a one-off, I think the mother can pick her up.

ImperialBlether Mon 24-Oct-11 17:33:14

Look, one of you will have to leave the house tonight to either pick up or take home.

She's not your child. You are not well.

That's it, really.

Flame me if you like, but I don't expect my ex's partner to drive my child anywhere.

HildaOgden Mon 24-Oct-11 17:34:17

Even step-mums are allowed a sick day,you know smile

Tell dh that you're not up to it,and get him to sort out alternative arrangements for his child.

And for Gods sake girl,don't waste one second of your day feeling guilty about it.

BOOareHaunting Mon 24-Oct-11 17:39:34

Just getting over this sinus thing going round and having not been able to lift my head for 2 days let alone drive I would say YANBU not to drive - it's probably not safe.

DSD Mum shouldn't want someone who's unsafe to do so driving her DD.

Think you left it too late though so YABU there but I agree your DP needs to help you come up with a solution. Not him alone as I always think he may be her Dad but you are both her 'parents'.

BOOareHaunting Mon 24-Oct-11 17:41:04

(sorry maryz pretty much echoed your post)

quicker version I agree with Maryz grin

eurochick Mon 24-Oct-11 17:42:59

You're ill. You are probably best off not driving anywhere. Just give her some notice or let your partner take her home in a taxi.

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