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AIBU to think that allowing my kids

(50 Posts)
microfight Mon 24-Oct-11 15:35:08

to get bored and in effect make them find their own fun over half term is actually a good thing. I know many SAHM's who have put their kids into all day activities for the whole of half term and did the same over the summer, I would have thought a balance would be better (some activity days but not all) and that possibly the activities are for the mums to have time out really not for the kids.
I must stress I am not talking about working mum's who do a fab job juggling everything and need to put their kids into clubs etc. I am talking about stay at home mums who just simple don't seem to want to parent during the holidays and pretend the all day activities are for the kids.

JarethTheGoblinKing Mon 24-Oct-11 15:36:42

Are you trying to start a bunfight?

microfight Mon 24-Oct-11 15:37:27

Also I am talking about activity days where the parents drop the kids off for the day not taking them out to the Zoo or something.

grumplestilskin Mon 24-Oct-11 15:38:46

yes YABU

different thing work for different families/children! Some are REALLY sporty/socialble and mid term is a great opportunity to really indulge them in sport/active stuff after spending day in day out in a classroom

if yours like quiet self directed activities then great, indulge them in that! if you all enjoy wearing judgey pants on your head all week then great! indulge them in that! knowing mine he'll probably be ITCHING to go to sports camp after a term of school, so if he stays the same once at school I'll indulge him in that and not care what you do/think!

DogsBeastFiend Mon 24-Oct-11 15:39:33

If some SAHM choose to put their children into holiday clubs rather than have the stress of bored children and/or to give themselves time out, bloody good luck to them, I don't see the need to judge them for it. If your way is good for YOUR kids, that's great, but it isn't good for ALL Dc or ALL parents.

Each to their own and all that.

grumplestilskin Mon 24-Oct-11 15:40:48

p.s. I was dropped off at sports/summer camps 9-5 in the holidays and LOVED it, its one of the main things from my childhood I really want to give to my DC and will scrimp and save for it, they're not cheap! But I want him to have it if he has areas of interest which he'll enjoy to explore more intensively

LineRunnerIsBuriedAlive Mon 24-Oct-11 15:41:04

Your final sentence is unfortunate, methinks.

OchAyeTheNooPal Mon 24-Oct-11 15:41:29

YABU and very judgmental.

'SAHM who don't want to parent?'


fairimum Mon 24-Oct-11 15:42:09

I am at home, DD is 3.5 and just started school nursery, but did 2 3 mornings at local pre-school last year. DS is 18 months - we were out in the fresh air all day yesterday and today I have mostly been working (i work from home usually in the evenings but have an urgent deadline this week) - both have done a pretty good job of amusing themselves today, played trains, lego, drawing, i got them the playdoh out at one point. DS is now asleep and DD has just asked for toys story dvd to be put on - other than 15 mins of peppa pig this morning is the first time the tv has been on... yes they have made a mess (although not too bad today), but i have got some much needed work done! I am jsut thankfully when needed they can amuse themselves! We will go to the woods or something tomorrow and certainly wouldn't do this every day - but i feel i am lucky i can as i have many friends who have children that need to be constantly entertained all day every day...

microfight Mon 24-Oct-11 15:42:31

Ok grumple I see your point if they are really sporty. I was honestly looking for why people would put the kids in all day everyday but I can see your point if they are in a classroom all week and do little sport.

EdithWeston Mon 24-Oct-11 15:42:41

YABU - each to their own.

And my DCs actually beg to do some activities, like drama workshops or sports training. I'm happy to fall in with their wishes, and I think they're big enough to have their preferences taken seriously.

fuzzynavel Mon 24-Oct-11 15:43:00

Not sure how to answer this one to be honest.

- if the parent is "actually" doing that then no, its not good.
- A lot of these clubs do excellent activities that are just not available during term time
- its also ok for kids to find their own fun on occasions too.

microfight Mon 24-Oct-11 15:44:04

But fairmum
Why do children need to be entertained all day every day? I really am trying to understand. I am sure most of us weren't entertained all day in the holidays were we?

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie Mon 24-Oct-11 15:44:30

yabvu.maybe the dc like to do these things??

microfight Mon 24-Oct-11 15:48:21

I agree some activities can be great I am asking whether doing some activities and have to entertain themselves sometimes too would be a good thing.

I asked in AIBU and I guess you have answered that I am and that I am being judgemental. Fair enough.

WelshMoth Mon 24-Oct-11 15:48:34

I think I know what you're getting at OP.

Cousins of mine had absolutely everything bought for them as kids - all the gadgets going, tv's and video players (am showing my age) in their rooms, computers from a young age. Their bedroom was crammed with stuff to tinker with. It'll stay with me always though, them complaining constantly, that they "were bored". I always thought that I'd 'train' my children to rely on their imagination and basic reading/writing/drawing skills to keep them entertained. A box of pencils an a never ending supply of paper in the middle of the kitchen table is a fantastic thing and I never feel the need to take my children out for day trips all the time.

WelshMoth Mon 24-Oct-11 15:50:01

I think you have a fair point OP, but because your post comes across a little judgy-pants grin, you've lost the focus a tad.

grumplestilskin Mon 24-Oct-11 15:52:59

WelshMoth surely what you are describing is the opposite what the OP is talking about is it not?

sitting around with lots of gadgets and computer games Vs spending free time getting doing active stuff and new and interesting activites? couldn't be more different IMO

Sandalwood Mon 24-Oct-11 15:56:21

It could even be that some SAHMs feel pressured to put their DCs into clubs with their friends.
"Oh but Tallulah's doing multisports"

WelshMoth Mon 24-Oct-11 16:05:07

Ah grumplestilskin, maybe I've misunderstood - am a tad fuzzy today smile
I s'pose I was saying that no matter how much cash my relatives threw at my cousins, and no matter how many wonderful gadgets they were bought, the one thing they were never taught was how to use their imagination.

GypsyMoth Mon 24-Oct-11 16:09:04

When I think back, most if my spare time was spent out in the surrounding countryside building dens/going in streams/looking for fruit to eat( cos there were 3 meals a day and 'snacks' didn't exist)

We occasionally played 'gsmes' but tight up through my teens we were out and about. Running, climbing , bike riding .that kind of thing.... No parents around either

grumplestilskin Mon 24-Oct-11 16:12:14

I was one of the midterm/summer camp kids and while it did take a certain threshold of money to be one, we weren't the ones with the latest bikes, gadjets, clothes, santa lists as long as everyone combined. Far from it! the richer summer camp kids had horses and country club memberships and sailing dingheys, but not bedrooms full of the latest plastic/electronic toys. That was a different bunch, a more 'spoilt' always bored bunch. The richer sports camp kids' rooms just had things like drawings and posters of horses etc. And a lot of them (not me unfortunately) have gone on to have quite creative/self directed careers...

grumplestilskin Mon 24-Oct-11 16:13:27

"When I think back, most if my spare time was spent out in the surrounding countryside building dens/going in streams/looking for fruit to eat( cos there were 3 meals a day and 'snacks' didn't exist)"

sounds lovely smile but with no garden/surrounding countryside in walking distance, summer camps actually OFFERS a taste of that rather than taking it away!

Groovee Mon 24-Oct-11 16:18:11

Last week dd went to an invited camp followed on from school camp. She did 2 days and had a ball. We don't have time in term time for her to constantly go Rock climbing and kayaking. It wasn't because I wanted her to go but because she had an invite to it from the centre. I got 2 full days with ds on his own for once.

We had a chill out week and both kids can usually amuse themselves.

giveitago Mon 24-Oct-11 16:23:22

Personally I think that sahm have a really difficult jobs and holiday clubs are there for just that - a short break for sahms and childcare for working mums.

Just a bit of childcare with added extras for all of us if we need it and can afford it.

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