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To have given BIL an honest answer to the question "So, what's it like with two DCs?" [grin]

(71 Posts)
MrsBloodyTroll Mon 24-Oct-11 11:01:57

Saw BIL at the weekend. He and his DW are expecting DC2, we've just had DC2, DC1s are about the same age (toddlers).

He asked what life was like with 2 DCs....silly boy!

So I told him. [evil grin] Make that a grin.

Bless him, he really persisted with the "but you sleep when the baby sleeps...don't you?!" slightly hysterically, not believing my replies that umm, no, well, I don't because DC2 tends to sleep when I'm ferrying DC1 to wherever they need to be, and if at home then no, the self-emptying dishwasher/washing machine hasn't been invented yet, there is extra work to do because of DC1, etc. Oh, and if DC1 is awake, no, I can't really nap myself. That would be child neglect.

He was also a bit shock when I told him that my 2 DCs wake each other up at night when they cry. We live in a large-ish detached house, he lives in a smaller place.

Oh boy, he's going to have a shock when his DC2 arrives!

grin

SummerRain Mon 24-Oct-11 11:03:22

mean grin

TethHearseEnd Mon 24-Oct-11 11:08:55

<fingers in ears>

LALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALICAN'THEARYOU!

<desperately tries to unclick on thread>

pozzled Mon 24-Oct-11 11:09:11

YANBU. But of course that's just your experience. My DD2 can scream her head off outside DD1's bedroom door and DD1 will sleep through oblivious.

But the 'sleep when the baby sleeps' thing- never going to happen!

ChaoticAngelofSamhain Mon 24-Oct-11 11:13:32

grin At least it won't come as a complete shock to him.

DeWe Mon 24-Oct-11 12:30:53

Yes, you can't sleep when the baby sleeps, but I found two much easier because they kept each other entertained.

Trills Mon 24-Oct-11 12:41:45

An honest answer would be "I only know what it is like my my two, I don't know what it will be like for you".

mypersonalfavourite Mon 24-Oct-11 12:51:55

I managed to combine the afternoon nap and sleep with the baby. Not always but a decent amount of the time.

Tis knackering though!

Sidalee7 Mon 24-Oct-11 13:02:49

My elder dc never woke up when dc 2 was a baby. And they shared a room!

Just because you find it hard doesnt mean he is going to.

BOOareHaunting Mon 24-Oct-11 13:05:36

Well I've just had an education <gazes lovingly at DS now 7>. I never thought of it that way (the sleeping thing etc) when you have two.

I expect now would be ideal though having tested the napping on the sofa whilst DS plays theory a few times?

BoysRusxxx Mon 24-Oct-11 13:09:14

I defo fine it harder with two but it has its good points too. My two play together all day, they still nap at same time and never wake eachother up and thye share a room but i do remember how hard it was when ds2 was a newborn, the night feeds are very different when you have a toddler to get up to (a baby in my case, ds1 was only 11 months!) . Its also harder to get out and about smile

tryingtoleave Mon 24-Oct-11 13:11:16

When people tell me they are expecting their first dc I feel a tiny bit of jealousy. When they tell me they are expecting their second I feel a tiny bit of schadenfreude.

PeterSkullsWitch Mon 24-Oct-11 13:14:06

YABU to have warned him about this only now it is too late and dc2 is already on the way.

None of our 2+dc friends ever thought to mention any of this to me before I got pregnant with ds2. Oh no, they waited until we announced.

[knackered with a toddler and a newborn emoticon]

kenobi Mon 24-Oct-11 13:16:35

My (male) boss is currently functioning on 3 hours sleep a night as his newborn and toddler feed of each other's crying at night.

I can't wait for my second!

<sits in corner and rocks back and forth sobbing>

Scholes34 Mon 24-Oct-11 13:19:11

It's the third that's by far the easiest!

blackeyedsusan Mon 24-Oct-11 13:19:21

dd was still young enough to sleep in the day, so ds went in his cot and dd and I went to bed for a nap. ds still naps at 3 so I occasionally have a nap in the day when dd is at school. (when one of them has got me up in the night.)

MrsBloodyTroll Mon 24-Oct-11 13:21:27

Hey, I don't get out much, so I have to amuse myself somehow.

My DC1 doesn't nap anymore but not old enough to be left unsupervised if I nap.

Their DC1 was really quite an easy baby, no big issues at all and a decent sleeper, but they always went on about how difficult DN was, like the lack of sleep and other lifestyle sacrifices were a surprise to them. I would love hate it if they had a properly difficult baby this time around.

Sorry, this was supposed to be a light-hearted thread!

PeterSkullsWitch Mon 24-Oct-11 13:23:05

My post wasn't supposed to sound so bitter. Honest! grin

Rhubarbgarden Mon 24-Oct-11 13:24:11

Feeling scared now.

worraliberty Mon 24-Oct-11 13:24:57

When I was pregnant with DS 2 my friend used to get a kick out of trying to worry me about the whole 'having 2 kids thing'....constantly telling me how difficult life was.

Thankfully, my situation couldn't have been any more different to hers and she as quite gobsmacked to learn just how wonderfully we happened to cope.

MrsBloodyTroll Mon 24-Oct-11 13:28:01

Definitely schadenfreude!

Had a wonderful night the other night where I spent about 3 hours shuttling between the pair of my DCs. I kept falling asleep on DC1's bed and then being woken by the sound of DC2 crying five minutes later. Then falling asleep after settling DC2 only to for DC1 to wake up.

I saw an interview with Claudia Winkelman where she said how she and her DH had a rough patch after their DC2 was born and also that many couples split after DC2. I can totally believe this because with two young DCs you really do need two pairs of hands and if one of you isn't pulling their weight for whatever reason...

<pauses to admire single parents one more time>

Anyway, back to the lighthearted stuff!

Tortoiseinadarkspell Mon 24-Oct-11 13:29:32

I'm not really sure how anyone could miss the bleeding obvious fact that with a toddler in the house you can't nap when the baby naps. He needed to be told that? I'm terrified - champion napper, me, happily survived the newborn phase last time by cosleeping and napping at all opportunities - but it was part of the decision.

Of course, my version of the self-emptying dishwasher is DH, frankly, if I'm in charge of a baby and a toddler. But still.

MrsBloodyTroll Mon 24-Oct-11 13:34:29

Scholes34 lots of friends have told me that DC3 and even DC4 are easier. We are not going there!

For those of you who don't have two yet, I should also say that there are some things which are easier second time. I am much more relaxed as a mum, not consulting the books constantly, much more instinctive. Also not doing the "I'll buy this <whatever> because that will solve my baby's sleep issues/colic/other thing that means my baby isn't perfect" thing, so life is a bit cheaper. I also know that This Too Shall Pass and Tomorrow Is Another Day.

I also know that DC2 is flippin' gorgeous and I wouldn't swap his cute smiles and gurgles for all the sleep in the world (probably).

Didn't tell BIL any of this though grin.

MrsBloodyTroll Mon 24-Oct-11 13:39:32

Tortoise sadly both DH and BIL work in the same demanding industry that means neither is around much Monday-Friday to help with DCs or dishwashers. I do like to wash my dishes more frequently than just at the weekends. smile

How young is too young to get DC1 to do housework BTW? Am sure she would accept payment in Smarties.

diddl Mon 24-Oct-11 13:40:25

Well they´re all different, aren´t they?

Mine are 22 months apart, often slept at the same time in the day-so I joined them-and never woke each other at night.

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