I doubt her version of events.... AIBU(9 Posts)
My MIL just told me that my friend has spoken to her sister and said some awful things about me (they work together)
One of those things was that I got pregnant to trap my partner. I know my friend could never have said this as she knows I have had loads of problems conceiving. There were various other things that were very off the wall. Friend says she has never spoken to this woman (its a big place)
SIL dislikes me very much and is close to MIL's sister. She also used to work with my friend. I dont know if thats relevant or not
Anyway, AIBU to think this woman made it up? Im just not sure I 100% trust my friend either.... I dont know who to trust in this scenario. DP is not concerned at all, which is good.
MIL is shit stirring first and foremost. Even if it HAD been said, there is no reason for her to have repeated it.
I doubt you will ever get a straight story out of any of them by the sounds of it.
This is one of those insidious bits of vicious gossip that niggles away with poison and preys on your mind. Think it over and ask yourself WHY your friend would even think such a thing, let alone say it to a passing acquaintance at work who is more than likely to tell your MiL who would then take great delight in telling you... realistically, is that likely?
Or is it more likely that Mil or her sister, who you know dislike you for whatever reason, have been having a good old bitch behind your back, and MiL has twisted it all in her head, slipped up, said too much, and used your handy friend, whose only real involvement is that she works in the same place as sister, as a handy scapegoat?
I want to think that Pombear, but the little niggle in my head thinks, HAS my friend said it (or something similar that got twisted)
The things that had been said were all untrue. But I doubt that MIL's sister could have made it all up on her own. And why would she?
what you do is call MIL up and say "whilst i doubt very much that my friend has made this stuff up and decided to tell your sister, DH and I just want to make it 100% clear to you that the decision to have a child was one that we made together as a couple. whether you believe that or not is up to you but quite irrelevant to us as your opinion on the matter is of no consequence to anyone at all."
You know it's not your friend. Get her in on Operation Confrontation. Any chance your friend is up to happen to stumble across you and MIL and SIL out for a coffee one day? - would be even better if you could get MIL's sister there too. Cross paths while out shopping that kind of thing?
You could introduce them all and then have a conversation about "oh but you two already know one another because didn't you say that [friend] told you I'd trapped DH by falling pregnant! We did have a laugh about that one because I don't know what I would have done without [friend] while we were ttc.
What does DH think of his MIL and SIL circulating rumours that he didn't want his own child? Very nasty. I think you need to get your poker face on with a veneer of bright and breezy bemusement/bewilderment ie. how could someone misunderstand/mishear such a thing? How strange! And then enjoy watching some squirming.
The messenger needs shooting in some situations, a person who cared about you would hVe stood up to anyone gossiping about you and been more sensitive in warning you about the gossip.
The more I think of it, the more convinced I am that the aunt (MIL's sister) is at fault. Upon hearing these lies why on earth would your first port of call be to DP's nan (who told MIL.... she didnt)
And 'She got pregnant on purpose to trap you' sounds like the juvenile crap that someone with little imagination would come up with. Its pretty difficult to purposely get pregnant in my case actually. Thats why I just dont think my friend would have said it.
Deep down I feel like SIL is involved too. Theres no reason for me to think that, I just do! We fell out quite recently.
I am all confused about who said what, but the bottom line is that Mil is sayng that your friend said some nasty stuff about you.
You dont truly believe that your friend said this but the in laws have said enough to plant the seed of doubt??.... Right i think i am following.
it sounds to me like blatant shit stirring, You know your friend, she knows that you had trouble concieving, and dont truly believe that this is true.
I would have a quiet word with your friend and find out, if at all anything was said....could have been a fairly innocent comment that has been twisted by whoever and passed on to make you look like the bad one. Or just a blatant lie
And if this is the case, which sounds like it is then give the inlaws a very wide berth.
I been on the recieving end of blatant shit stirring with the in laws and its not nice, but i stood my ground and learned to ignore it, they just made the situation worse for themselves.....theres no hope for some people!!
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