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To be sick of people being two-faced?

(15 Posts)
yellowraincoat Sun 23-Oct-11 18:49:29

I know everyone likes a little bitch/moan occasionally, I moan to my partner a bit, although I try not to. But I'm sick of people bitching behind people's backs and saying another to their face.

I used to have a "friend" who did this all the time, eventually I got sick of it and got rid of her. Now I have another friend who does it. The thing is, I REALLY like her, apart from this. She's actually very honest about most things, will tell it like it is and so on.

But recently she was telling me that although she has quite a few friends in London, she doesn't really like any of them except me. Fair enough I thought, I don't really need her to like me best or most, I didn't really give it much thought.

Then today, I see she's written on her FB that she loves all her work colleagues (name-checking them) and will see them on Monday.

It makes me feel like she's saying horrible stuff behind my back too and that I can't really trust her. Why even SAY she didn't like her friends if it's not true? And if it is true, why say so publicly that she loves them?

I'm not bad at dumping people, just wondered if others think it's a strange thing to do.

ragged Sun 23-Oct-11 18:51:27

She may have loved them in that moment & hated them all in another. Some people are inconsistent.

Shutupanddrive Sun 23-Oct-11 18:51:55

YANBU she sounds like a bitch
Hth

FearTricksPotter Sun 23-Oct-11 18:52:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrBloomsNursery Sun 23-Oct-11 18:57:19

I don't know, that comment she made sounds spur of the moment thing...But I hate people who bitch about you behind your back to people you don't like too.

yellowraincoat Sun 23-Oct-11 18:59:00

I do enjoy her company, she's funny and we do fun things together. But she does have a habit of sort of wanting me to be closer than I am, wanting me to share, and yet I don't really get that much stuff from her.

Maybe I need to back off a bit.

I really don't get why people are so overly-effusive in one direction and then just do a total 180.

FearTricksPotter Sun 23-Oct-11 19:01:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakyfreakytoy Sun 23-Oct-11 19:02:11

She sounds a bit lacking in confidence. Perhaps she thinks that nobody likes her, and is being defensive.

yellowraincoat Sun 23-Oct-11 19:07:24

Could be being defensive. It's weird as she seems very confident, but yeah, I also had the feeling that she might have low self esteem.

I find it really hard to have friendships based just on fun. Actually, I find it hard to have friendships full stop.

Deflatedballoonbelly Sun 23-Oct-11 19:32:41

Those that bitch to you, bitch about you.

YANBU.

squeakyfreakytoy Sun 23-Oct-11 19:39:09

Some of the most confident people on the outside are often the ones with the least self confidence deep down though.

yellowraincoat Sun 23-Oct-11 21:24:34

She probably is bitching about me behind my back isn't she? I have depression, so I can be a bit hit and miss re socialising. I'm just imagining all the horrible things she could have said about me...

Yes. She probably is.

If someone bitches to you about everyone else - what do you think they are doing when they're with someone else?

As my grandad used to say "know your man".

As long as you have the measure of someone, you can deal with them in a way that doesn't leave you vulnerable.

Neena12 Mon 24-Oct-11 00:19:13

I have experienced the same thing..but ultimately I realized that some people are just used to bitching behind others' back and probably they don't mean any harm!
And in this case she can't let her colleagues know how she feels about them so she is pretending smile . you dont have to worry about it..

superdragonmama Mon 24-Oct-11 01:21:59

Had this myself, friend I thought was loyal to me, but endlessly bitchy about everyone else.

Eventually I wised up. Told her some very personal gossip about me( all made up) and sort of tracked it. 3 people asked me about it. Clear and unequivocal proof of her gossipyness and bitchiness. End of friendship. sad

Can't stand two faced 'friends'! Much better off without idiots like this in your life!

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