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To hope my parents might babysit once in a while...?

(95 Posts)
minko Sun 23-Oct-11 16:46:52

My DH and I went out to a friends engagement party last night and my parents stayed overnight to babysit. We got back about lunchtime today and my mum immediately upped sticks and left. I said thanks and that we appreciated the babysitting and she said all huffily that 'yes, I should think so!'. She also moaned that might kids are too noisy, make too much mess, watch too much TV and wouldn't make their beds (they are 5 and 8). There also weren't enough breakfast options (cereal, toast porridge, eggs etc all available) and the house was too cold.

We don't ask them to babysit very often - maybe once every 6 weeks or so. I don't see what the hardship is, but I always feel guilty asking. It's like they think our lives are too easy, that we have too much money that we don't appreciate stuff etc etc...

I am really upset, but I just DON'T GET IT!

Sandalwood Sun 23-Oct-11 16:52:49

Did they know you'd be gone til lunchtime?
Have they stayed over anyway when you are around and know the DCs quite well enough to know if they're just being awkward about breakfast/making beds etc.

Notnapping Sun 23-Oct-11 16:55:03

Once in a while ? Ie 6 weeks

Ds is 5 and my df or any other family on my side haven't baby sat (dm is died suddenly when he was under 1 but still never babysat in that time)

It's not that my families physically unable to btw they just don't want to

So them babysitting every 6 weeks seems like a luxury to me !

IndigoSunshine Sun 23-Oct-11 16:55:55

Hmmm, difficult one! Could you not speak to your children about being on their best behaviour for their grandparents. Maybe promise an extra good treat if you get a raving review from your mum..? Just an idea. Put the heating on before she comes over and tell her you are more than happy to be accommodating to morning foods and is there anything she may like that you can pick up before you and DH go out? Is having your DH's family look after them an option? If you find other means of childcare for your evenings out, your mum may find she misses doing it and offer to stay over without the usual grumbles. Ignore any criticism about your life being 'too easy'. I swear older generations in families think we should have done some kind of back-breaking labour and living in the 40's for a year as part of our initiation into adulthood!

I say that last comment in jest so please, no need to take offense :O

SenoritaViva Sun 23-Oct-11 16:57:45

We don't ask them to babysit very often - maybe once every 6 weeks or so - to me that is quite often!

Perhaps you should speak to your mum, thank her for the babysitting and ask her what she would like in future (better heated house, what breakfast options) etc. The thing is, as they're doing YOU a favour you're not really on a strong footing to start complaining too much.

ilovedjasondonovan Sun 23-Oct-11 16:57:52

Every six weeks!!! Bloody hell, you don't know how lucky you are.
5 years, 2 children and not one night out in this house. Not even an hour off as all my family live 2+ hours away. You'll get no sympathy from me I'm afraid.

happygilmore Sun 23-Oct-11 16:58:13

once every 6 weeks sounds like quite a lot to me, not saying it is too much, but I wou;dnt describe that as not very often. Not very often in my book is once or twice a year.

Maybe your mum feels you take her for granted?

BarkisIsWillin Sun 23-Oct-11 16:58:31

Would it be an option for the children to stay in your parents' house?

fivegomadindorset Sun 23-Oct-11 16:58:38

Did you say that you would be back at lunchtime?

Still think you have a good deal there.

Sandalwood Sun 23-Oct-11 16:59:51

I missed the every 6 weeks bit - that's a bit different to "once in a while".

Sirzy Sun 23-Oct-11 17:02:12

Yabu unreasonable to ever expect your parents to look after your children. You are lucky they do, I am sure there are people on here who would love to have someone to look after children for them once every six months let alone every 6 weeks!

ladyintheradiator Sun 23-Oct-11 17:02:23

What? Are you unreasonable to hope they'd babysit once in a while? According to your OP they do - and not just babysitting but overnight until LUNCHTIME the next day - and you're complaining that they're not overjoyed enough upon your return? Get the fuck over yourself!

ladyintheradiator Sun 23-Oct-11 17:02:57

And if you feel so bad maybe they have a point and have hit a nerve?

fivegomadindorset Sun 23-Oct-11 17:03:36

My parents babysit once in a while, they are doing it for the second time in two years next February grin

Knackeredmother Sun 23-Oct-11 17:12:06

Is this a wind up?!

squeakyfreakytoy Sun 23-Oct-11 17:16:17

Every 6 weeks is not "once in a while", that is bloody regularly!

Why not take your kids to their house and let them stay there if you are going out, and pick them up the next day.

LoveBeingAWitch Sun 23-Oct-11 17:19:45

Sorry another one who is gonna get stuck on the 6 weeks. Do they have them at other times too?

zukiecat Sun 23-Oct-11 17:31:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unavailable Sun 23-Oct-11 17:32:43

OP, your thread title is a bit misleading.
You dont need to "hope" they will babysit as they already do. (So yes, YABU.)

SenoritaViva Sun 23-Oct-11 17:34:42

Now Zukie that is unreasonable, how sad that your parents could not put aside their feelings about divorce for their daughter and the reality (that you were in an abusive relationship)

SenoritaViva Sun 23-Oct-11 17:35:38

Good point unavailable I think she meant 'to hope they would babysit once in a while without whinging' ?

IndigoSunshine Sun 23-Oct-11 17:36:49

Crikey Zukie, your mother sounds extremely old fashioned!

zukiecat Sun 23-Oct-11 17:38:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva Sun 23-Oct-11 17:42:21

Very sorry for you Zukie. I hope you are clear in your mind that your mother is very much wrong and undeserving of their daughter. Have you severed ties?

allhailtheaubergine Sun 23-Oct-11 17:43:12

You get free babysitting every 6 weeks until LUNCHTIME the next day and you're whinging?

Faaaaarking hell.

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