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To expect a 7yr old and a 45 yr old to get on

(26 Posts)
queenebay Sun 23-Oct-11 15:50:17

At the minute they are screaming at each other. Does anyone have a father/daughter that does not get on?. They are like siblings at each others throats.
I'm at my wits end and getting ready to walk out and leave them to it

LeBOOOf Sun 23-Oct-11 15:51:29

I'd expect the 45 year old to behave better, certainly.

crazynannawitchbitch Sun 23-Oct-11 15:53:02

Blimey if he's having trouble getting on with her now...wait until she's 13! shock

Madlizzy Sun 23-Oct-11 15:53:33

I would expect the 45 year old to not argue with a child as if they're the same age. The 45 year old should act as a parent.

queenebay Sun 23-Oct-11 15:54:23

Not sticking up for dh but she is a gobby wee bum at the minute-gawd knows what has got into her but the cheek and the backchat is getting beyond a joke.

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Sun 23-Oct-11 15:55:13

A 45 year old shouldn't be screaming at anyone, particularly not a 7 year old child.

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Sun 23-Oct-11 15:56:53

But shouting/screaming back doesn't work. As you said, it makes them seem like siblings - it removes all his parental authority.

workshy Sun 23-Oct-11 15:57:25

my ex was like this with our daughter -same ages

was actually part of the reason that we split up because he was constantly needling her, and I spent most of my time trying to get her not to wind her dad up when really he was in the wrong and he was just teaching her how to argue!!!

crazynannawitchbitch Sun 23-Oct-11 15:57:39

She's just pushing her boundaries is all...totally normal. maybe he could just walk away when she's on one...and come back and talk to her about her behaviour when she's a bit calmer...and he too is a bit calmer. smile

queenebay Sun 23-Oct-11 15:59:12

Shes away up to her room still gobbing off and hes outside doing some jobs. he said he will go and speak to her in a minute and de-fuse the situation.
Hes a really good dad but this arguing just isnt funny anymore.

crazynannawitchbitch Sun 23-Oct-11 16:00:18

Must be driving you mad Queen sad

AnyPhantomFucker Sun 23-Oct-11 16:03:51

the 7yo has an excuse

what is the grown-up kid's excuse ?

OldGreyWassailTest Sun 23-Oct-11 16:41:22

If the cheek and backchat is 'getting too much' then come down on her - hard. I expect your DH has had enough!

AnyPhantomFucker Sun 23-Oct-11 16:46:36

yes, I would be coming down on her hard too

but not by shouting

and by presenting a united front as parents

SaffronCake Sun 23-Oct-11 17:06:09

He screams back? Oh God.

Parenting classes.

nenevomito Sun 23-Oct-11 17:08:15

What are you trying to stop the arguing? Are there any other sanctions happening?

Takeresponsibility Sun 23-Oct-11 17:08:39

Is the 45 year old her Dad or your Dad?

Groovee Sun 23-Oct-11 17:08:44

My 41 year old husband and my 11 year old daughter are like this. MIL says DD is the exact replica female version of DH at the same age. I think they're too alike and wind each other up and it results in the clashes. Ds usually disappears outside and I disappear upstairs.

squeakyfreakytoy Sun 23-Oct-11 17:08:51

I remember having some humdingers with my mother.... from the age of about 6 onwards..... blush

When my dad stepped in we would both shut up! grin

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Sun 23-Oct-11 18:38:21

Silence is incredibly powerful. He's the adult. If she is shouting/arguing then she can go and shout in her room and stay there until she calms down and can be civil.

MrBloomsNursery Sun 23-Oct-11 18:40:48

Errm...Why are you letting a 7 year old backchat and be gobby to her Dad? Where is the respect? Someone needs to lay down the law here - and it's YOU.

diddl Sun 23-Oct-11 18:50:20

"Errm...Why are you letting a 7 year old backchat and be gobby to her Dad?"

Why is it OPs fault?

Her Dad should be able to sort her out without screaming.

exoticfruits Sun 23-Oct-11 19:15:18

I think that he needs to be the adult and not descend to 7yr old level.
Sit down together calmly and discuss it starting with backchat isn't on.

MrBloomsNursery Sun 23-Oct-11 19:17:21

Because her Dad is obviously not doing a very good job is he? So this is where mother steps in and tells DD that she must not talk to ANY adult like that, especially her parents. Then Dad could take lead from there.

queenebay Sun 23-Oct-11 19:20:08

I'm not the parent to the 2 of them though MrBloomsNursery-I'm an equal parent!!!

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