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Not to keep giving DS2 a £1 here and there

(27 Posts)
Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 13:43:28

Hi...this is my first post, just feel I need to a have a whinge about the constant demands from my ds2 for money!
I have 3 dc, all boys 9,12 and 14 and I'm a single parent who works part time being supervisor of a is tight!!
They each get £3 a week in their do with as they wish, now my DS2 is always out and about with I gave him an extra £1 as he was going up local skatepark...but he's just come home and said that him and 2 mates are off to another skatepark and can he have more money!!!
Y do I feel so unreasonable for saying No!

I can't keep dishing out pounds here and there and he knows this but I do feel bad as his mates will have money for drinks etc and my DS won't! I've told him he needs to manage his money better!

Don't know what answers I'm expecting but just wanted to have a moan really......

Beamur Sun 23-Oct-11 13:46:31

You give them money, they must appreciate that money is tight in your family, so fair enough to ask, but you're right to refuse to give what you can't afford. They do need to learn to manage the money they have.

valiumredhead Sun 23-Oct-11 13:51:42

Explain that his pocket money has to cover trips to the skate park. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it , that's a fact not being unresonable.

Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 13:52:57

Usually they r very good about money as been a sp for past 8 years but as they r getting older it's becoming harder not to feel bad as I constantly hear " so and so gets £10 a week" or "so an so gets given a fiver everytime he goes to skatepark"...

SquelchyBodyParts Sun 23-Oct-11 13:53:29

You're the parent, you don't have the cash to give him, he doesn't have the cash...simple!

talkingnonsense Sun 23-Oct-11 13:56:42

It is hard though especially as he is too young to get a job himself, and his friends may be too young to understand that peoPle have different financial restraints. But, where is his dad? Is he paying support/ providing pocket money? Could ds2 plan for a job when he is older? Could he sensibly do any chores that wOuld save you money and therefore earn that way?

bigTillyMint Sun 23-Oct-11 13:59:44

YANBU - DD gets £5 a week for her social life and she has to make it lastgrin

Why does he "need" an extra £1 - what soes he "need" to buy? More sweets/crisps/crap?grin

Weetabixchanger Sun 23-Oct-11 14:01:22

Do they charge for using skateparks in your area??? That's outrageous, ours our like public parks, where you just go along.

gordyslovesheep Sun 23-Oct-11 14:02:36

YANBU - I am in the same boat - mine are female and younger but the damends are the same. Mine also get £3 a week every Sat - I explain that we are skint and it's tough - it's hard sometimes and I feel a bit mean but then they also get money spent on them for riding lessons, swimming, birthday parties (friends - including gifts etc) plus school trips ... so they just have to lump it x

Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:04:24

Talkingnonsense- thanks! Ds dad hasn't been on scene for 8-9 years...he pays £6.67 a week for ds1 and ds2!!!! Don't even get me started on that subject grin

I know it's as easy as if I haven't got it he can't have it but just wanted a moan as it just seems at weekends/ half terms all I hear is "have u got any money?"

At 12 could he earn any money himself? Weeding for an elderly neighbour? Washing cars? We got a leaflet through our door from a local teenager last year offering to do light house work, reading etc. I was impressed with her creativity in thinking of ways to make her own money.

Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:07:51

No they don't charge for skatepark but he wants extra money for drinks/ sweets and general crap grin

Eldest 2 also have contract mobiles and go to youth clubs etc so I know they r lucky in that respect. The pocket money only really started a month or so ago

SquelchyBodyParts Sun 23-Oct-11 14:09:09

Agree with ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged, if he wants a bit of spare cash just get him to ask neighbours if they have any jobs they need doing. The children round here often come and ask if we want the car washing, for a couple of quid. I think it is enterprising and I respect them for wanting to earn money rather than getting it off parents.

GypsyMoth Sun 23-Oct-11 14:12:37

Could he earn a bit more doing jobs?
I try to buy in cans/bottles of drinks anticipating they will need something. Cheaper in packs from the supermarket than the corner shop

fastweb Sun 23-Oct-11 14:15:04

We had this.

I got him in the habit of taking something to eat and something to drink with him in his shoulder bum bag thingie.

So that way he can fork out only if it is exciting group snack buying, like a slice of pizza or something.

One other trick was to make a note of every extra whinge for cash/buy me something and knock 25eurocents of next weeks pocket money.

He only lost 50 cents before he stopped asking.

Miraculously enough it seems to have started some savings going on as well.

Hope that bit lasts.

He is 11 though, so maybe adjust stratagy for age if not appropriate.

Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:16:21

I do keep a supply of drinks here but I suppose it's because his mates always have money that he wants money too

Good idea about earning some extra cash doing some jobs....I'll speak to him about that smile

Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:19:04

That's a good idea fastweb....hadn't thought of trying that one!
Money just burns a home in his pocket that's the trouble, ds1 is good at saving and ds3 spends his on moshi monster cards smile

Dee03 Sun 23-Oct-11 14:19:27

Burns a hole...not a home!!!!

LineRunner Sun 23-Oct-11 15:03:21

I have a change jar in the kitchen. I chuck in all my loose change (not pound coins!) in it most days and the DC are welcome to ask if they can have something from that if they are going out with friends.

I also encourage them to take a bottle of tapwater out wherever they go. Much healthier, and free. smile

I also think that doing odd-jobs or extra chores is a good idea.

colken Sun 23-Oct-11 15:08:17

Do you have local newsagents? They often employ paper boys who start at 13.

SaffronCake Sun 23-Oct-11 17:02:30

Sit your kids down all together and tell them:- Everyone's got a budget. Rich people might have a big budget but even theirs is not unlimited. Whether your budget is big or small you need to live within it or you much your whole life up pretty spectacularly. It is really important that they learn how to do this, so you're setting the pocket money budget in stone. They will have (£x-amount) weekly on (weekday) and not a single penny less or more. They have to learn to make the most of it for themselves.

troisgarcons Sun 23-Oct-11 17:12:05

We went through this - the summer holidays one year were a killer - three children, all with palms out for quid here and there.

Once you add it up - £1.20 each an evening for an ice cream, £1 each for the sweetshop to get a drink , a fiver here and there for thats when bank accounts came into play.

Dinner money (£2 a day), mobile top up £10 a month), hair cut money (£8 a month)..... round it off to £80 each per month - and don't come back again.

BarbarianMum Sun 23-Oct-11 17:18:47


Another idea would be to suggest ways to him that he could earn extra money. My bro and I used to wash the neighbors cars for thruppence ha'penny

plupervert Sun 23-Oct-11 17:23:26

I thought it was either regular pocket money or as-and-when, not both strategies.

amicissima Sun 23-Oct-11 17:25:32

YANBU. Some children (not a million miles from where I sit!) would be running out if you gave them £100. (No! Please don't!) Others will keep £1 forever.

We all have to cut our coats according to our cloth.

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