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to send DS (7) to a family meal without me because I have a cold?

(10 Posts)
BOOareHaunting Sun 23-Oct-11 09:14:33

I'm a LP and DS is 7. My Dbro is in forces and although home most weekends he tends to see his GF and mates. My Dsis and her DP, and Dbro's GF and DS and I have all been invited to DM and DF for lunch - which my brother is making.

Thing is I have a cold, I feel rough (but not bed bound!) but I think I may have slight tositilitis as one is swollen and looks white, not spotty but pretty grim!

My Dsis is pg and due in a week and although she has no tonsils anymore I really think it would be unfair to knowingly see her when I'm unwell. Labour and newborn babies are hard enough without being ill as well.

This is the last chance we will get to be all together for a while but AIBU to think it would be better to ask my sister to pick DS and take him whilst I stay home?

Or should I ask her if she would prefer me not to go? I just worry that she may feel unkind actually asking me to stay away and don't want to put her in an awkward situation iyswim?

So AIBU to just send DS and a plate so he can bring me home my roast? wink or should I ask my sister how she feels first?


SkinnyGirlBethany Sun 23-Oct-11 09:17:55

I'd check first

AuntiePickleBottom Sun 23-Oct-11 09:18:57

ask your sister how she feels.

but yanbu not to go but send DS, snuggle up on the sofa with a dvd while sipping lemon sips

GuillotinedMaryLacey Sun 23-Oct-11 09:19:17

Ask what they would rather you did. If you send ds on his own then someone has to be responsible for him and they might not fancy doing that.

colken Sun 23-Oct-11 09:20:17

Yes, chjeck first. If your brother is in the Forces, make the most of the oportunities when there is a family do with him present.

SolidGoldVampireBat Sun 23-Oct-11 09:20:33

Talk to your sister. After all, you are considering her wellbeing, and it probably is a bad idea to sneeze germs at her when she's hugely PG. However, if she's very germ-conscious she might not want DS either as he is quite probably contagious even if he isn't ill yet.

honeybunmum Sun 23-Oct-11 09:24:20

I would check too and emphasize that you are thinking of them (not spreading your germs) I think if it were me, I'd think you just didn't want to come otherwise.

MowlemB Sun 23-Oct-11 09:26:41

Ask your sister. She may prefer you not to be there, she may prefer to take the risk. I wouldn't make a decision on someone else's interests without asking them, because you may be mistaken.

BOOareHaunting Sun 23-Oct-11 09:27:07

DS was ill last week. Sick at school once and sent home - did the quick recovery in about 2 hours thing! My DF is retired so he had him for the day (next day) and my sister visited them.

Now she knew he was ill and made that decision (fwiw I wouldn't have at 8 mths pg but it's her choice iyswim?).

I'll speak to my sister in a bit, just tried but no answer. I'll just tell her I'd rather she told me how she would feel about it if this was any other day not a family 'event' iyswim?

BOOareHaunting Sun 23-Oct-11 10:11:00

Have spoken to Dsis - she said she wasn't going to tell me not to go but would happily take DS if I didn't feel well enough. (helpful and as I expected!)

TBH I am OK, lemsip is helping that! She also said her DP has cold/ sore throat and is still going so she feels that she could get a cold from him anyway. (plus they live together so likely if she's going to get something she already will have been exposed)

She said she's not worried about my tonsils because she has none!

So providing I am still well in 3 hours all I have to worry about is my brothers cooking. grin

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