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Am i over-reacting to dps mobile phone history?

(24 Posts)
EmbarrassingCorpses Sat 22-Oct-11 13:23:06

DP is always so bloody secretive about his phone, deletes all messages, keeps it glued to him etc etc. This morning he accidently left his online acount open and it shows that he text his ex wife 12 times just yesterday. Every time he must have done it in secret because I didn't see him text anyone all day. He has a tendancy to take it into the bathroom and text whilst in there hmm

They do have a child together but she's 15, lives with DP and tends to sort all access stuff out herself directly with her mother.

AIBU to think that texting your ex 12 times in one day and often in secret is a bit dodgy (coupled with the other secretive behaviour).

MamaGeekChic Sat 22-Oct-11 13:30:18

depends- what did the texts say?

AnyPhantomFucker Sat 22-Oct-11 13:30:32

yes, it is dodgy

EmbarrassingCorpses Sat 22-Oct-11 13:30:54

Dunno, they'll be deleted by now. God forbid he leave any kind of trace.

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses Sat 22-Oct-11 13:32:50

Yup. Dodgy.

PenguinsAreThePoint Sat 22-Oct-11 13:33:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaGeekChic Sat 22-Oct-11 13:33:21

Sounds dodgy I'm afraid. Unless you have a history you being annoyed over any contact with ex?

AnyPhantomFucker Sat 22-Oct-11 13:34:20

Have a read of the Relationships board, love

Your eyes may well get opened

Being secretive with mobile phone, never letting it out of your sight, lying by omission and deleting all msgs is a common red flag for wome with something to hide

have you asked him what he is up to, btw ?

why he feels the need to secretly text his exW so profusely, and what else he isn't telling you about ?

AnyPhantomFucker Sat 22-Oct-11 13:34:50

sorry someone wth something to hide

catgirl1976 Sat 22-Oct-11 13:37:56

That's dodgy. Yes they have a child, but if the communications were along those lines there wouldn't be any need for the secrecy - unless like mama says this has been a cause of problems between you, but even then.......sorry it sounds wrong

EmbarrassingCorpses Sat 22-Oct-11 13:39:08

well he lies about so much I never know when to believe him. Like we both had a Sky Movies trial for 2 months (we live seperately) which we needed to cancel on a certain date. So that date came and I cancelled mine and sent him a text reminding him to cancel his or he will be charged a full month's movies. He replied saying thanks and said he'd done it. So the date my movies went off I mentioned it to him and obviously caught him off guard because he stuttered and said his was still on but they shouldn't be and he'd call them etc hmm This went on for ages "oh my movies are still on! they better not charge me because it's their fault! oh can't believe they've not cancelled my movies like I asked them to! oh they're charging me!!! you wait while I get on the phone to them!! this is their fault because I cancelled!!" hmm
All this was a month ago. I asked him casually yesterday if his movies was still on. He said yes. I replied "Why not just admit that you didn't cancel them?" and he said "ok, I didn't cancel them." Why the fuck lie??? What a pointless thing to lie about.

AnyPhantomFucker Sat 22-Oct-11 13:41:29

pointless lying is stupid

but I don't get why you are so interested in his sky movies confused

what I am most confused about though is, if as is clear, you have no trust (and precious little respect) for him...why the hell are you with him ?

EmbarrassingCorpses Sat 22-Oct-11 13:44:02

I wasn't interested in the movies as such, it's just that I've had bad experiences with sky charging for stuff they shouldn't be charging for and was concerned it was happening to him.

I suppose I just keep thinking I'm being overly paranoid and that I SHOULD trust him more but when stuff like this happens it's hard.

HerScaryness Sat 22-Oct-11 13:44:39

WTF are you worried about his sky movies for? you don't live together? nYou are not his mother, if he wants to spend his money, let him.

If he lies to you, he's TOAST.... it's THAT simple. The phone behaviour in general is enough to bin him tbh. No smoke without fire and all that.

How long have you been with this bloke?

HerScaryness Sat 22-Oct-11 13:45:36

Why would you trust him? he's a liar.

If you want to trust anything, it ought to be your instincts. You deserve better than this idiot.

FabbyChic Sat 22-Oct-11 13:51:16

I have 15 texts a day sometimes between me and the kids dad, but we can go weeks without any contact.

This man has something to hide, he already lies about trivial things like Sky Movies subscriptions.

I'd be concerned about what else he can lie about.

He could have other women on the go and probably does, drop him before it goes any further.

CheeseandGherkins Sat 22-Oct-11 13:54:05

Same as Fabby, sometimes I need to speak to ex a number of times and usually text as I prefer that way, others it could be a while without anything. Dcs are younger though. The thing that would bother me is the lying and secretiveness though.

AbbyAbsinthe Sat 22-Oct-11 13:57:18

I delete all my messages daily - and I have no intention of playing away! confused

However, OP, you do sound a little controlling, if I may say.

EricNorthmansMistress Sat 22-Oct-11 15:46:15

You shoudln't trust him. Maybe he's got something to hide, maybe he's a random compulsive liar, who knows. But the phone thing is DODGY and the lying about small stuff is strange. If I were you I'd cut and run. You can't trust him now, you can't trust him ever.

clam Sat 22-Oct-11 16:22:25

I just can't abide liars. Couldn't possibly be in a relationship with someone who did. Those who are asking what the Sky thing has to do with you are missing the point. HE WAS LYING TO YOU, playing you for a fool. Which is massively disrespectful, particularly as it was so unnecessary. How can you continue a relationship with him?

Pandemoniaa Sat 22-Oct-11 16:26:16

It's very suspicious behaviour. But then the Sky Movies interrogation discussion comes across as a bit stalky too. However, it is downright peculiar to send text messages from the lavatory. I'm afraid this whole relationship seems very low on mutual trust and that's not a good sign.

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 22-Oct-11 18:07:37

You obviously don't trust him (nor should you, going by the behaviours you have mentioned). Be glad that you live separately, make no plans to change that, and perhaps consider whether a relationship without trust (since he clearly does not trust you either) is worth having at all.

ihatethecold Sun 23-Oct-11 10:08:10

i think the op probably knows all this.
i think texting each other is fine if its to do with their kids but, the fact he is deleting them if not on.
as hard as it may seem i think the warning signs are there.
move on.
sad

SnapesMistress Sun 23-Oct-11 10:20:16

Don't know why people are saying the movies thing is stalky, the OP's reason for asking was entirely sound imo and I have done similar with friends and virgin broadband when they were having problems.

He does not sound worth it. I'd bin him.

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