to want to shout at all the kids bullying DS

[mumof2monsters]

Don't worry not going to just so angry and sad

My DS is 10 and is the youngest in his year (needed to add that as he is a
little immature emotionally. For the last couple of weeks he has been having trouble at school. He would come out of school moody and argumentitive which is very unlike him. Turns out that some of the boys and girls in his class are name calling him. They were picking on two girls in the year but the teacher had a word with the whole year group and it stopped but now they are picking on DS.
It is name calling eg: don't sit next to him he has fleas etc. I know that this may seem silly and I have tried telling him to ignore it but he is finding it hard. We have had the odd occassion where he did not want to go to school.

He is particulary friendly with two boys one of which is his best friend but even the other one has not been kind to him.

DH and I spoke to his teacher and a few days ago again the teacher spoke to the class(did not name names) and said bullying has to stop but still DS is having problems.

It was the school disco tonight and he got ridiculed as he had dressed up for halloween and most of the others hadn't. The usual boys were calling him loser and this made him sad and upset.

I just do not know what to do now. I feel like confronting these boys and telling them they are making my son's life a misery I am so angry. I know it is only name calling and I have said to him that he needs to toughen up a bit as next year he will be in big school but I am concerned that this will affect him.

He is a very bright boy and always does well at school and the two ringleaders are both the "naughty" boys in the class.

Please can someone give me advice on what to do next because I am really worried about him. He is normally a chatty sunny natured boy who can sometimes be a bit bossy and I am sure that may annoy the odd boy but he is my son and I feel so sad for him.

[AgentZigzag]

I've had a similar situation with DD1 who's 10 YO as well.

If someone used a pencil after her, another DC would say 'ewww it's got XXXX germs on it', and one of her 'good' friends seems to me to be the worst one for putting her down and making her feel like shit.

I wanted to shout at the ones doing it as well.

But I took an incramental route to sorting it.

-I tried to give her the tools to sort it herself (like you, saying just let it wash over you, laugh at them, walk away etc)

-When that didn't work, I told her to tell a teacher and get them to help her sort it.

-Then I went in to talk to the teacher, and he told her to walk away every time something happened, and to tell them what was going on at a quiet time when the others couldn't see her talking to him.

I think he also kept a close eye on her and made a general point of bringing up good relationships in class time.

But it did actually get better, this was last year, and it's really only this one girl who's still needling her.

DD has 'toughened up' at bit. Although you can say 'well people should accept you as you are, why should you change', but it's really giving them the armour to protect themselves from getting hurt.