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To think everyone behaves differently at home than they do when they're 'out'?

(12 Posts)
AgentZigzag Fri 21-Oct-11 22:28:08

Can you be one type of person at home, and another when you're with people outside the home?

Something another poster said about the OPs DH being a hypocrite because he presented himself as one thing to others, but was actually totally different at home (sorry, I've looked and can't find the post, or I'd credit them).

I'm a relatively normal person (shurrup, I fucking am! in my own head grin ), but with a group of people, I'm definately not the same person as I am when it's just me and DH.

And it's just sods law that I'll voice a strong opinion about something to someone one day, and the next I'll be forced to do the total opposite making me look like a right twat grin

I accept this about myself/human nature, but I know my mum and brother just can't get their heads round the fact that people change their minds about certain things over their lifetime.

They would see it as lying and hypocritical (even though they do it themselves all. the. time!), and I suspect they find the unpredictablity of people hard to get their heads round.

So, would you say there are bits of you that are consistent, but other parts that maybe would vary according to who you're talking to.

And that this isn't deceit or hypocricy, but just human nature?

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 22:29:45

I like to be naked apart from my DH's socks when I'm at home

Not really any different when I go out though.....

Kayano Fri 21-Oct-11 22:29:45

I am always the same...

Much to my bosses dismay I think.
I did tell a customer that our new product looked like a head a shoulders bottle today , he was not impressed but me and the customer had a good laugh and I think they will be returning grin

Kayano Fri 21-Oct-11 22:30:05

Pmsl worral

MissPenteuth Fri 21-Oct-11 22:32:06

I'm completely different around people with whom I feel comfortable compared to people I don't know well. People who don't know me well would be shocked to hear me chatting away, laughing uproariously and swearing like a trouper (less so on that last point now DD's starting to talkgrin).

My values and principles remain consistent though. I might feel more comfortable voicing an opinion to my DH, for example, than to casual acquaintances, but that doesn't mean my opinion has changed. I'm just not as vociferous about it.

AgentZigzag Fri 21-Oct-11 22:57:29

I'd like to believe you're joking worra, but I suspect you've bared your arse on St Pauls steps at some point in your life grin

Are your values and principles the same ones you had when you were younger MissP?

MissPenteuth Fri 21-Oct-11 23:05:44

Good question. I think my core values and principles remain fairly constant, but opinions are subject to change based on new information. You'd have to be quite closed-minded to refuse to ever change your mind about things.

staylucky Fri 21-Oct-11 23:07:50

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. ... Walt Whitman.

I like this idea but think it takes a lot of confidence to pull it off.

hmc Fri 21-Oct-11 23:11:24

I swear and rant a lot at home, less so in public

lydiamama Fri 21-Oct-11 23:12:39

I am in essence the same outside or inside, but can change the way I voice my opinions, some swearing and bad words can be heard off me when at home, none outside; although my opinions about some issues have evolved along the years, as I have matured and got a wider point of view

Xiaoxiong Fri 21-Oct-11 23:23:49

Too much to unpack here all at once - if the DH in question is presenting himself to the world as a loving caring husband and once at home he smacks his DW around, that is deceit and hypocrisy, no question.

But if the DH is shy in public, doesn't speak much so people get the idea he's disinterested or unpleasant but in fact, at home he is chatty and confident - that's much more benign and not deceitful or hypocritical.

I think I appear more positive and upbeat when I'm outside the home and hide any issues I'm having. At home I am more negative and pour out my stored-up moans to poor old DH. This has been an issue in the past where he has felt I unload all my negativity on him and then am able to go merrily off and be bright and chirpy to the outside world, leaving him exhausted and upset - it's something I do actively try and avoid doing now.

HauntedHengshanRoad Sat 22-Oct-11 08:36:15

There's no personality trait I tire of more quickly than the "I'm me, respect me for who I am" school of thought. Likewise the "I speak as I find" brigade. Of course it's necessary to temper your behaviour a little when out and about, or in the workplace. It's called diplomacy.

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