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Can I ask step mil to take photos of my Dcs off of her Facebook?

(26 Posts)
D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:18:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Fri 21-Oct-11 18:20:58

You can ask but I don't think you can make her. I assume they are photos they have taken of them?

Have you tried asking her to take them off? Or at least change her security settings?

DodieSmith Fri 21-Oct-11 18:22:53


What is it exactly you're worried about?

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:24:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:26:32

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worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 18:26:43

Do you have pictures of your children on the internet?

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:27:22

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worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 18:28:52

Then YABU to expect her not to have some too

Just explain that Facebook keeps mucking about with the security settings, her album is public and ask her/show her how to change that.

Your personal feelings on her shouldn't come into this imo.

Blu Fri 21-Oct-11 18:29:07

Tell her that as she has no privacy settings and you prefer to keep pictures of yur children and family life more private, you would appreciate it if she would take them down.

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:32:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 18:39:13

Do you have permission from your children to put them on the internet?

If so, ask them if they want to be on their Gran's FB too.

It really should be down to them. As a child I cringed when my parents showed my photos to their friends/family....I would have been fuming if they'd chosen to put them on the world wide web without taking my feelings into consideration.

worraliberty Fri 21-Oct-11 18:40:22

Not that there was the internet or Facebook when I was a child, but I suppose the equivalent would have been walking up and down the street with a sandwich board covered in my photographs.

Sirzy Fri 21-Oct-11 18:40:36

They are her photos she can do with them as she likes.

Unless the photos are of the children naked then I really won't worry to much beyond suggesting she checks her privacy settings.

Why do you care what other people think about her relationship with them? Surely what you know is what matters? I am sure lots of people try to make things seem better than they are

belindarose Fri 21-Oct-11 18:41:54

Are you my SIL? This sounds exactly like my stepmother! Right down to pretending to dote but only taking photos when she sees them. I don't look on her Facebook so don't know or care if she puts them on there or not.

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:42:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:44:16

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Feminine Fri 21-Oct-11 18:47:12

I don't think its the FB so much is it?

more like you just don't like her as a grandmother!

I can sympathize...I have a similar situation.

Have a word, and see what happens...she will prob change the settings smile

BlueKangaroo22 Fri 21-Oct-11 18:50:01

Report ALL the pictures, claim that they are harrassing you, this is the closest option i can find that will hopefully get them removed from her profile. If she uploads them again, I would have words and politely explain that you are not happy with pictures of your children up on the internet for all the world to see.

D0G Fri 21-Oct-11 18:50:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Earthymama Fri 21-Oct-11 18:50:54

my daughter puts up photographs of her children as our privacy settings are good
My son hates FB so of course I don't post any photographs of his son though I am equally as proud of his beautiful son.
I understand about your annoyance about SMIL's claim through FB of a relationship with your DC. DP's evil mother who has had no contact for 13 years would boast about academic achievements and career progression as if she had been fully supportive[ angry], really, really made me mad.

Earthymama Fri 21-Oct-11 18:52:33

Sorry my DGC were talking to me as I posted, I haven't taken to repeating myself,
I haven't taken to repeating myself.

JamieComeHome Fri 21-Oct-11 18:53:17

I sympathise - personally I hate the fact that people can take photos of me/my children and put them online without my permission (I've asked friends to take a video of me down on one occasion and they did it) but it's the whole situation rather than just the photos.

I'd ask her to change the security settings

ravenAK Fri 21-Oct-11 18:56:32

About all you can do is ask. Oh, & next time she whips out a camera, tell her she can't take pictures of the dc unless she promises not to upload them, I suppose - although I imagine that'd precipitate some bad feeling!

Or you can report the photos, but there's no guarantee FB will take them down.

It wouldn't bother me, fwiw - I'd just ignore...but I can see it's irritating if she's not very nice to you!

kipperandtiger Fri 21-Oct-11 19:01:22

Yes, you can ask her. They're your DCs. I asked a relative nicely and now she only posts photos where the face is like just 10% of the entire picture. Our family does it quite often, and everyone respects each other's wish, it's not a problem. Hopefully it can be said without too much ill feeling - would it be more efficacious to ask your DH to ask her?

kipperandtiger Fri 21-Oct-11 19:05:46

Just found your 18:50 post - maybe it will be just as effective for you to ask. Hope it works.
Not an FB expert, but I think it is possible to ask FB to remove photos - eg if someone takes a photo of you and puts it up as their profile pic, it could be complicated but I think it is possible. Would be curious to know if anyone has done that successfully.

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