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Really really hacked off with DH

(77 Posts)
Kayano Thu 20-Oct-11 22:06:42

Dont know if IABU to be annoyed.

DH plays wow 3 nights a week with his brother and is often online from 7pm til 11 pm. So I usually entertain myself. I write, read, play bingo on a Sunday with my MIL (great relationship) on these evenings.

I don't generally mind too much as I'm pregnant ATM and tend to get really tired early anyway. Sometimes I feel down that he spends nearly half the week playing these games.

Anyway, I deal. My annoyance is this. DH and me spend thursday nights curled up on sofa usually and have nice night in. This week he announces that Thursdays are now 'bowling night' with his bro and workmate. I was pretty upset. So out of 7 days I get 2 evenings with DH, his bro gets 4 and one day is spent with family.

I'm just so frustrated.

The worst thing is tonight they went out at 8 bowling so I had to stay in. I planned my night around Food Network and Gordon's kitchen nightmares and got my jammies and teddy out... Only for DH and BIL to walk in after an hour, demand I go upstairs so they can play FIFA!!!
There is not even a tv upstairs due to decorating!!!

I just feel DH does what he likes and doesn't think about things like this at all, as long as he is happy and I don't make a fuss! I can't believe it I'm so upset!

BIL has his own house with a PS3 and FIFA too, why is he always here?! He moved in for a while when I was 10 weeks preg but I pissed and moaned to DH and MIL and he moved out again. Thank god for my MIL

I just feel so fed up and any discussions are like talking to a brick wall 'he is my brother', 'he just needs to get out' etc. I feel totally second best to DH brother.

Have told DH this is not goig to be a weekly thing and he needs to think about me and out family (expecting first Dc) a bit more as it is upsetting me.
I do go out and try to do my own thing etc, but I feel very down today.

lifechanger Thu 20-Oct-11 22:08:45

I think you are right to stick to your guns and insist this isn't another evening lost to the brother. You are being more than accommodating already. Your DH sounds a bit of a manchild.

Kayano Thu 20-Oct-11 22:08:59

Ps we both work full time too so I feel out or busy 4 nights a week is really not nice of him sad

TartyMcFarty Thu 20-Oct-11 22:09:41

Who the fuck is he to demand you go upstairs? What a weird relationship - he's treating you like a little girl whilst behaving like a kid himself. Please put your foot down.

thisisyesterday Thu 20-Oct-11 22:10:30

so when they came in why did you not just say NO. feck orf?

i would have done.

your husband needs to get his priorities straight, and quickly.

Kayano Thu 20-Oct-11 22:12:56

I did say get lost - I am watching chopped on food network

But the two of them sat there and stared at me for 10 minutes. I felt really uncomfortable. And then the bro asks 'is there much longer to go on this?!'

It was 17 minutes into the episode. I'm so tired and annoyed and upset. angry

I will be having strong words with DH once BIL buggers off

HumphreyCobbler Thu 20-Oct-11 22:14:58

I would have strong words now, not wait till he has gone. Bloody hell, what a way to behave.

mumsamilitant Thu 20-Oct-11 22:15:14

Any man that plays some sort of on line game is still a kid in my book. Is he really ready for a child? why on earth did you get pregnant in the first place.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Thu 20-Oct-11 22:16:11

He is completely out of line and a selfish git.
Is he trying to get as much "fun" in before you have the baby? Mine did a little of this before dd arrived and I ended up as a taxi service but he was much better than your dh.

As this is yesterday says he needs to get his priorities straight, both now and after birth

HumphreyCobbler Thu 20-Oct-11 22:16:38

not the most helpful point to make at this moment in time mumsamilitant

OP you are right, he is being a twat and you are entirely justified in telling him so.

mumsamilitant Thu 20-Oct-11 22:16:47

So i hear. yes but i thought it would make him grow up. NO it doesnt.

squeakyfreakytoy Thu 20-Oct-11 22:17:27

Is your husband 17?

I would be reading him the riot act by now to be honest.

ilovesooty Thu 20-Oct-11 22:17:35

why on earth did you get pregnant in the first place

That's hardly helpful.

Just tell him straight that this isn't on. It's your house as well as his.

DogsBeastFiend Thu 20-Oct-11 22:17:45

"Only for DH and BIL to walk in after an hour, demand I go upstairs so they can play FIFA!!!"

They did WHAT?! angry shock

You have two choices lovey... do as you're told like a good little girl and get used to a lifetime of being told to go to bed in your own home or tell BIL to fuck the fuck off out of YOUR home and then tell "D"H that you will NOT be treated like a child by him OR his guests/family.

I know which I'd be doing.

mumsamilitant Thu 20-Oct-11 22:18:01

Ok, lets mollycoddle then...

Kayano Thu 20-Oct-11 22:18:18

I got pregnant because we very much wanted a baby hmm and until today had a very workable agreement about jobs and games etc (I used to play too)

Just today BIL-gate has pushed me over the edge.

HauntyMython Thu 20-Oct-11 22:18:19

He sounds like an immature grumpy teen! Certainly not invested in family life.

He could at least swap the bowling for a WOW night so he's still "only" doing 3 nights?

MorelliOrRanger Thu 20-Oct-11 22:18:30

If your BIL has his own house why didn't they go there?

YANBU - your hubby is being a knob

HOMEMADECHUTNEY Thu 20-Oct-11 22:18:34

Helpful post mumsamilitant hmm

ilovesooty Thu 20-Oct-11 22:19:05

Ok, lets mollycoddle then

Who suggested that?

TheFeministsZombieBride Thu 20-Oct-11 22:19:27

Wow! If that was me BIL would have been told to go fuck himself and I would be giving DH hell, especially if I was pregnant! shock

hepcat Thu 20-Oct-11 22:19:50

What's he going to do when the baby comes? Have you talked about this? Because-while I am not for a minute downplaying your needs as an individual in your own right too- if it gets on your nerves now, it's going to be totally intolerable and unacceptable when you have a child to look after.

HauntyMython Thu 20-Oct-11 22:20:21

I've read a lot of threads about WOW etc and they rarely have a good outcome. 3 nights a week is certainly not the worst, but it shows how little he thinks of his family sad

Kayano Thu 20-Oct-11 22:20:45

Mums a militant .. Wtf?!

So one rant about behaviour displayed this week = why did you get pregnant?! So rude and insulting.

manticlimactic Thu 20-Oct-11 22:21:56

But the two of them sat there and stared at me for 10 minutes. I felt really uncomfortable. And then the bro asks 'is there much longer to go on this?!'

How bloody rude! I would have replied 'It will probably be finished by the time you get home if you set off now'.

You DH said he'd be out, it's unfair of him to dictate what you can and can't do at anytime let alone when he'd arranged to be out. I would have stayed put even if I was uncomfortable, but then I'm a stubborn cow.

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