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to be effing FUMING with these so-called "friends"?

(12 Posts)
Bogeymanface Wed 19-Oct-11 22:23:42

A young girl we know (15) has been the victim of a groomer.

She was very sensible, didnt respond when she realised what he was doing, but it was going on for 18 months before she told her parents, it started when she was 13. She was scared and didnt know what to do sad

It has since transpired that a hell of a lot of people knew about this and didnt tell her parents! Its hard to describe without outing her as many of you would know who she is, but she is involved in a particular activity, sometimes with other kids her age and confided in some of them. They told their parents who are friends with her parents, and since it came out alot of them have told H (who runs one of the activity venues) that they knew about it but didnt know what "to do for the best" as H quoted to me, in a rage.

As he said, WTF is "for the best" other than telling her parents to protect an innocent young girl from being groomed by a pervert?! Her dad told H some of the things that he had said, and this man is sick, MAJOR SICK.

He will get his arse handed to him by the police (and her dad if he gets hold of him) as she sensibly kept every message he sent, but it could have happened alot quicker if these fucking ARSEHOLES had done something about it. H is mad because he's normally well up on the gossip and said that he would have told the dad straight away (I know he would have) and is pissed off that on this one occassion, he didnt hear it.

runningwilde Wed 19-Oct-11 22:29:09

Yanbu at all - will he be prosecuted? The groomer?

Bogeymanface Wed 19-Oct-11 22:33:33

Yes, but I dont know the details and tbh wouldnt post them if I did.

I am just so angry that parents, of kids the SAME AGE, didnt do anything about it! If one of my lot came home and told that one of their friends was worried about this sort of thing then I would make sure that I would tell their parents ASAP. I just dont understand how anyone could unsure about what to do in this situation! What the actual fuck is wrong with these people?!

And you wont be surprised to hear that the dad has gone postal at these "Friends"

DogsBeastFiend Wed 19-Oct-11 22:47:50

YANBU. Often I get cross with people who "don't want to get involved" or who assume that someone else will deal with the issue.

I've been in the position of having to alert appropriate people about this sort of thing, just as a parent who has happened to be informed and who is lucky enough to have DC who confide in me. It's not pleasant but I put myself in the shoes of the parents of the victim and I know for damn sure that I'd want to be told.

TenderlyLovinglyByAGoat Wed 19-Oct-11 23:39:04

I desperately desperately wanted this thread to be about something trivial to undo various other things alive on aibu sad

of course you're not being unreasonable, not quite the same but was shocked by something on a different forum recently where everyone was pretty much 'poor you' to someone who was talking about being suicidal and as a sort of aside mentioned losing their temper and hitting their child, it was like the 1970s or something with everyone turning a blind eye - has changed the way I feel about most of those people

Allyinoz Thu 20-Oct-11 07:28:07

What's that proverb - Bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing. Very sad. Not everybody is like that though.

pigletmania Thu 20-Oct-11 07:32:23

YANBU those people have a moral obligation to tell the girls parents. Some people just do not want to get involved and stand by. Hope this groomer gets locked up.

altinkum Thu 20-Oct-11 07:33:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loserface Thu 20-Oct-11 08:21:52

YANBU at all! It should be obvious to even the most simple of people that when you know something like this you tell the parents. Why would you let it carry on without saying something? confused

CompleteMug Thu 20-Oct-11 08:28:02

This is haunting, and very very serious.
I'm not biting back at these parents, but occurrences like these have to be a dire warning to parents about any social networking site, and mobile phones.
I would feel very, very let-down by any adult knowing these things were happening to my child, and not having the common-sense to step forward and say something.

diddl Thu 20-Oct-11 08:33:09

It´s pretty sad that she couldn´t tell her parents after being sensible enough to keep messages, isn´t it?

Is it possible that other parents thought that they knew?

MonaLotte Thu 20-Oct-11 08:37:44

That is shocking. I most certainly would have spoken to the parents.

It is sad that this is the sort of thing we have to be vigilent of now as parents.

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