Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

AIBU to care that he's probably lied to me?

13 replies

fragglerocks · 19/10/2011 21:27

XDH and I split in April but remain on good terms. We're still good friends just know we're not right together as a couple.
A few weeks ago he tells me he has got a cheap flight to visit his parents in Spain and could I look after dog and cat. No problem says I. He flew out last Friday and I checked, as I always do when family/close friends go away, if his flight got in on time (have an irrational fear of plane crashes!)
I couldn't find the flight on the Internet for the times he had told me. I thought it was a bit strange but assumed I'd just got it a bit wrong.
Just checked my Facebook page and XMIL has put a status update on saying she's just got back from being away for a few days for her birthday and she'd had a lovely time with her DH. No mention of XDH. This got me thinking and checked the flight he has said he is getting back, there's no such flight!
It would appear he has lied about what he's up to. Why? Where is he?
AIBU for even caring about the apparent lie considering he is now XDH and no longer DH!?

OP posts:

Report

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 19/10/2011 21:31

I don't think YBU but then again I hate been lied to, no matter who is doing the lying.

Report

Happymm · 19/10/2011 21:33

Started seeing someone? Doesn't want to tell you yet?

Report

squeakyfreakytoy · 19/10/2011 21:35

He has lied.. and I suspect has gone away with someone else, but is too much of a coward to be honest about it.

Pretty dim really if he knows you still have contact with his mother and would easily bust him on it.

Report

fragglerocks · 19/10/2011 21:49

We've discussed that if we start seeing other people we'd rather be up front about it, I just don't understand it! If he's gone away with someone else wouldn't that mean it's quite serious? I'd hate to think he's been lying to me for a long time.
Why do I care so much!?? I've spent the past few months trying to sort my emotions out and now it feels like my heads a bit jumbled up again

OP posts:

Report

floweryblue · 19/10/2011 21:57

YANBU for not liking being lied to, YABU for sort of stalking XH by trying to track his movements. If he does have a new lady he could just be trying to spare your feelings until he is sure that it is going to be an important relationship.

Report

AbbyAbsinthe · 19/10/2011 21:57

Oh I'm so sorry, but this is really nothing whatsoever to do with you. I know he lied and he shouldn't have - but he doesn't really have to tell you anything.

Report

fragglerocks · 19/10/2011 22:01

No stalking going on, as I said we are close and still spend a lot of time together, I always check flights whether it be my parents, brother, sister, close friends etc. It's a weird thing I have always done.
I know he doesn't have to tell me anything but I just don't like the idea of being lied to by someone I am close to!

OP posts:

Report

AbbyAbsinthe · 19/10/2011 22:11

Nobody likes being lied to. But people lie sometimes

There must be a reason why he didn't tell you the truth, rightly or wrongly - how would you have reacted if he'd told you he was off for some sort of raunchy weekend, say? Be honest now.....

Report

lubeybooby · 19/10/2011 22:13

I would say he is seeing someone but he still isn't sure if it's serious enough to mention

Report

lubeybooby · 19/10/2011 22:13

and that he didn't necessarily go anywhere but her place

Report

CardyMow · 19/10/2011 23:17

But the point is, the OP was asked to look after her XDH's dog and cat - so she is doing him a favour, and is surely owed the TRUTH about why she is needed to look after his dog and cat?!

Report

lubeybooby · 19/10/2011 23:26

Absolutely OP should have got the truth... I'm just guessing why he lied, as in what excuses he may give when asked about it...unsure about relationship, not wanting to potentially upset her unless it's definitely serious, maybe even out and out using and manipulation of OP thinking maybe she wouldn't dog and cat sit if he admitted it.

Could be something totally different, but that would be my guess and yes if it was that then OP deserves more.

Report

fragglerocks · 25/10/2011 19:47

Well don't I feel like the idiot. XH got back yesterday, rung me yesterday morning when he got home for a chat. I asked how it all was and he then proceeded to tell me how he'd got his flight time wrong on the way out so was sat at the airport for hours. He then also said that his DM had to fly back to England for a hospital appt, when I mentioned what she'd put on Facebook he said there were some people she didn't want to know the truth for some bizarre reason so she said she'd been taken away by her DH. And it turns out I got the wrong date for his flight back!!
What a waste of a thread!!!!