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To feel like slapping the kid at ds's school that makes remarks about my weight to ds

(25 Posts)
crazedupmom Tue 18-Oct-11 19:49:35

There is a kid at my ds 's school they are both year 6 in the same class.
This child is a trouble maker always getting inot bother with the teachers.
He seems to have taken a likeness for teasing my ds about my weight.
Yes I am overwieght probably do walk like a penguin and its probably my own fault problems with my eating habits that I need to address.
I know I need to lose weight for ds's sake to avoid this sort of teasing but I wish I could get hold of the little so and so.
AIBU to feel this way.

worraliberty Tue 18-Oct-11 19:52:46

YANBU

But if it wasn't your weight, it'd be your height/glasses/hair colour/voice etc....

There's still very much a stupid culture of 'Your Mum cusses'

Seems it started in America with 'Yo Momma'

scurryfunge Tue 18-Oct-11 19:59:16

The child is still bullying your child even though the abuse is directed at you. Speak to the teacher.

helpmabob Tue 18-Oct-11 20:00:13

Yanbu, I second talking to the teacher.

Andrewofgg Tue 18-Oct-11 20:01:34

Yes, if you like, but no power on earth will stop children finding ways of being nasty to each other!

purplewerepidj Tue 18-Oct-11 20:10:11

You could lose weight, but it won't stop this child from finding something to bully others about!

smartyparts Tue 18-Oct-11 20:13:06

He sounds vile and must come from a questionable family for this to even occur to him.

I'd speak to the teacher.

slavetofilofax Tue 18-Oct-11 20:14:01

Yanbu, this child sounds horrible. But he would be horrible to someone else about something else if you weren't overweight.

What exactly is he saying? Is there any truth in it? Maybe that's why you seem to be more angry at him than sad for your son.

I can't think of a better incentive than this to lose weight tbh.

countessbabycham Tue 18-Oct-11 20:14:15

Would it help to acknowledge to Ds that you know you are overweight and make it a "non issue"?Is your Ds trying to protect you and would it help if he doesn't worry about it and brushes it off?If the bully isn't getting a reaction perhaps they'll back off him.

Harecare Tue 18-Oct-11 20:17:13

Take a 3 pronged approach:
1. Talk to the teacher about the bullying.
2. Talk to your son about ways to handle the bullies - a sense of humour about your weight is important for both of you. If he doesn't get wound up the bullying will stop. You sound wound up, so I'm guessing your son gets wound up too - bullies LOVE this reaction.
3. See what you can do to eat well and take some regular exercise to keep yourself healthy and hopefully the weight will shift without having to go on silly diets.

TheBestWitch Tue 18-Oct-11 20:18:20

I think the best thing to do is tell him to say something back. I agree with worral - kids often say things about each others mums cos it touches a nerve and if it wasn't your weight it would be something else.
When I was growing up in Liverpool a favourite playground insult was 'Yer da's yer ma with a wig on' which roughly translated means that your mum looks like your dad in drag.

TheBestWitch Tue 18-Oct-11 20:18:48

Got da and ma the wrong way round but you get the jist!

countessbabycham Tue 18-Oct-11 20:19:56

I don't think you need to lose weight to stop Ds being bullied - if you want to do it'do it for you.I'm sure he loves you as you are and is it not incorrect to show him that we need to change to conform/be more likeable?

scurryfunge Tue 18-Oct-11 20:36:17

countess, I think it is the wrong message to state that a victim of verbal abuse/bullying needs to change to be more likeable. The issue and the need to change lies with the bully.

scurryfunge Tue 18-Oct-11 20:37:00

Sorry countess, I have re read and got that wrong!

countessbabycham Tue 18-Oct-11 20:41:56

not to worry scurry.Sometimes I'm not very clear!

scurryfunge Tue 18-Oct-11 20:42:33

grin

BimboNo5 Tue 18-Oct-11 20:45:43

Slave a little sod being nasty is NO incentive to lose weight, thats one of the biggest reasons NOT to imho

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern Tue 18-Oct-11 20:51:25

YANBU

What have you said to your DS about the whole situation? I would just say to him 'I know I'm overweight, you know I'm overweight. What he's saying isn't news to us - just say 'Yes, she is overweight - so what?'. Totally take the power out of his words - if they don't upset (or at least he doesn't show he's upset) then it will lose all currency.

HowlmoaneeChainClanger Tue 18-Oct-11 21:39:24

Someone said this to my DD once about me, and the teacher told me her response was"Yeah well she's disabled, she has a bad back and bad knees. My mummy's beautiful and gives the best squishy cuddles ever."

She said she hadnt felt the need to step in before she finished, but did tell the little boy off later, and told his mum.

troisgarcons Tue 18-Oct-11 21:45:43

Sadly people judge .... small things become big things for "bullying"....remember a bully can only bully if they get a reaction and create a victim.

Maybe this is the kick-start you need to realise your size is an issue, both socially and medically.

And no Im not being bitchy, my DH has severe weight issues through diabetes. I live with what others would deem 'morbid obesity'.

spiderpig8 Tue 18-Oct-11 21:47:58

If it wasn't that, he would find another angle.

tralalala Tue 18-Oct-11 21:56:56

troisgarcons - not wanting to pick a fight, but my step-son's diabetic and I always understood that obesity can cause diabetes not the other way round, which type is it?

ChameleonCircuit Tue 18-Oct-11 21:57:13

One of the girls in DDs class said something similar to her in the food queue at a party. DD called me over and told me "X said you're fat!" I just breezily said "Yes, I am. So?" Never have I seen a child's face change so quickly. She realised that her words meant nothing to me. Hence their power was taken away.

Other posters are right - some kids will always find something to have a go about.

troisgarcons Tue 18-Oct-11 22:09:32

tralalala - pick it any which way - it's all been a vicious circle here. D2 can be triggered through stress - I've posted before , DH was very fit, played a lot of sport, had heart attack, followed by another heart attack, onset diabetes, cholesterol, HBP .....all nicely managed until he ripped his rotor cuff (thats the muscle in the shoulder) and it took 18 months to find a combo of surgeon and an anaethatist willing to operate to repair it ...consequently he couldnt play sport so the weight stacked up. As a result of the weight he now has an ulcerated leg ...... the rotor cuff is fine, the leg is not good .... no sport, no justifiable exercise. A lot of it is his own fault. A lot of it is circumstance

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