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to be sick of all the grooming?

(126 Posts)
witchyhills Tue 18-Oct-11 10:59:49

Disclaimer; I'm not actually that stylish or well groomed, however
I am sick of the shaving, plucking, waxing, trimming, moisturising, manicures, pedicures. I've been doing it for 25 years, and I'm tired of it
I am also sick of the haircuts, highlights, blowdrying every bloody day. Trying to find shampoo and mousse that give my hair some kind of volume.
I got my haircut short recently so it would be easier, and it's already outgrown the style
I'm sick of trying to find comfortable clothes that are flattering, comfortable shoes that are stylish
I currently have no mascara and no foundation, need a haircut and highlights
and I have no money to buy any of the above

would I be unreasonable just to let it all go to pot
who would care, who would notice?!

I've just read this through and it does sound like I am trendy and stylish, I can assure you that I am not.
I spend all Summer in flipflops, I have very fine greasy hair, so I have to wash and blowdry everyday
I don't usually wear makeup, just usually mascara, but I had a job interview and went out on Sat and I had no foundation

kakapo Tue 18-Oct-11 11:03:45

i hear you witchyhills. i work very hard and don't want to spend my spare time/money on eyebrow plucking, leg shaving, hair cutting... it soon builds up and is very boring. but I wouldn't feel happy letting it go, so I guess I'll keep on doing it.

I don't bother with mascara though - too hard basket!

Maybe someone will be along soon with some time saving tips for us both smile

Sossiges Tue 18-Oct-11 11:08:00

It's a drag, isn't it? I keep it to a minimum. If I don't do ANY of it though, within a short space of time I feel and look like a werewolf.

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 11:10:10

So don't do most of it. I have very fine hair so I know that washing every day is essential. And haircuts sometimes are essential unless you grow it straight and long . Moisturising only essential if your skin is very dry as otherwise it can get irritated and a bit painful.

You need to wear some clothes and shoes obviously so need to buy them occasionally - but as adults,unless you follow fashion closely this shouldn't need to happen very often. I normally buy clothes shoes 3 or 4 times a year.

The rest is absolutely optional. And unless the person themselves is very groomed - most people don't notice whether you have done the rest unless it is really obvious. So I would still pull any hair chins out - I am at that age! - shave before swimming/wearing shorts/skirt or dress, but not bother about other things or only do them infrequently e.g. pedicure once/twice a year during warm weather.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead Tue 18-Oct-11 11:13:20

Another one working hard just to look average here grin
Badly need my hair done, have to have it dyed properly as dont want to use a bottle in pregnancy. And I last had it cut for New Year!
I'm also wearing old glasses at the mo as I have run out of contact lenses.
And my eyebrows are taking over my face!

QueenofJacksDreams Tue 18-Oct-11 11:13:52

Don't bloody do it then grin My legs and arm pits are currently hairer than my dog and will be for most of the winter as no-ones going to see them. My hair is cut in the MN style and gets washed every 3 days anymore and its uncontrolable.

I don't do manicures, pedicures, cleansing, moisturising or any of that rubbish yet I'm constantly complimented on my skin hair and nails simply because I have a good diet.

My current shoes are simple ballet flats other than that I have a calf high pair of black boots, over the knee brown and black boots and a pair of ankle boots in brown with a heel oh and a pair of hiking boots for dog walking.

You don't need 500 pairs of shoes to look good, you don't need a huge wadrobe either you just need confidence and self belief.

LaDolcheRyvita Tue 18-Oct-11 11:15:57

I keep my hair in a style that doesn't require a hairdryer. Wash it in the shower daily and let it dry. It's in a short bob. Poker straight. Recently tried to grow it but had to faff with it so lopped it off again.

I'm 49. I need all the cosmetic help I can get. Just buy cheapest brand stuff.

Overdoing it can be as bad as doing nothing, IMO.

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 11:17:39

I should say that over time I have worked out what other people notice and what they don't. For example, nobody but your partner knows if you have shaved your legs if you wear trousers. Nobody but DP knows if I only moisturise face and hands most of the year. And I don't know about your DP, but my DP doesn't really notice most of these things. I usually have to tell DP that I have had my hair cut for example.

And if I say anything to DP about this I always get - thats because I always think you look beautiful.

I have had times when because of events I haven't died the grey out of my hair. I think it looks terrible but when i have mentioned it, friends didn't seem to notice. Although I did have 2 strangers separately compliment me on my "highlights" aka grey hairs. So maybe I am wasting my time doing this as it is only the time strangers have ever complimented my hair!

I guess the lesson is that, unless you have very well groomed friends who notice these things - don't sweat the small stuff when it comes to grooming.

Dozer Tue 18-Oct-11 11:18:18

Give yourself a few weeks off from it all, might not be as bad as you think!

Pascha Tue 18-Oct-11 11:20:59

I very rarely do any of it. I seem to scrub up ok though.

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 11:23:46

Just to say I do understand the OP washing and blow drying her hair every day. I have been told by loads of people that hair is fine if washed less frequently and left to dry. But with very fine hair, it usually looks greasy the next day and without blow drying kind of is plastered to my face.

In fact as a kid before my family had hairdryers, I remember lots of comments from girls at 8,9,10 - that my hair looked as if it was painted on my scalp.

And honest, its not because I wash my hair too frequently and so it is producing more oils. An afternoon at the seaside leaves my hair looking greasy because of the salt, lots of traffic fumes can have it looking dirty in a few hours.

Ephiny Tue 18-Oct-11 11:25:13

I thought this was going to be about the trials of having a long-haired dog - I could sympathise about that as well smile

Can you cut back on the things you feel you 'have' to do? Not saying completely let yourself go and take no care about your appearance, but not all those things sound necessary to be clean, neat and 'groomed'.

I've never had a manicure or pedicure in my life, just trim nails myself so they're short and neat. No need to paint them odd colours. Never had highlights, never really bothered with make up. Moisturising - I find the more you do it, the more you need to do it, maybe need to get out of that cycle! Same goes for daily hair-washing. I wash/blow-dry hair every 2-3 days and it's fine. I find a medium-length haircut is easiest (e.g. long-ish bob with side fringe) as it's quicker to wash/dry than very long hair, but doesn't need the constant trimming like a very short style.

Removing 'unwanted' hair is the biggest faff really for me, I've found an epilator very useful though!

northernrock Tue 18-Oct-11 11:32:28

Here's my tip for a fast groom in the a.m:
Batiste dry shampoo-no need to wash every day,
Olay touch of foundation-bish bash bosh-moisturiser and make up in one-it's ace.
lip balm with a bit of colour in it. I swear, and blob of that and you look groomed, even without any other makeup.

witchyhills Tue 18-Oct-11 11:33:05

Ok, I don't really care if things get a bit hairy, DH doesn't care. and now the winter is coming I can lay off with the moisturising. I have very dry skin.

But if I didn't blowdry my hair, it would just stick flat to my head. It's awful.

My heels get horrible really quickly, and my nails and cuticles are shocking. My diet is ok, and I take vitamins, but no improvement
I'm not that tall and have very flat and large feet, so flat shoes, like ballet flats just make me feel dumpy and uncomfortable.
I have smart boots from about 5 years ago, but I don't think I can even restore them this year

i'm only talking 10 minutes a day, but I'm sick of the ten minutes just to make me look barely acceptable

Matronalia Tue 18-Oct-11 11:36:14

No-one who mattered would care and fewer people than you would think actually notice these things.

My grooming routine is to wash my hair in the morning and to shave my legs every two days during the summer. I wear comfortable clothes and shoes in basic styles and colours, so they all go together.

Occasionally I feel a little down as everyone else seems to be doing more and there is a lot of pressure from adverts/society. But then I think how much time and money I save doing this. I can go from bed to shower to dressed in 15 minutes max in the morning which means I can sleep longer in bed/make pancakes for breakfast/cuddle the kids/read/Mumsnet. I dont spend hours a month shopping/making decisions about what to wear or money on the latest look. That money goes on things that make me happy instead like books and days out. I look in the mirror to brush my hair/check my teeth maybe once/twice a day.

I also have a lot less angst about my appearance, I don't particularly care whether other people think I am unattractive, DH doesnt and thats all that matters. Its very freeing.

witchyhills Tue 18-Oct-11 11:37:31

I'm not talking professional manicures/pedicures, just a bit of diy tlc.

my hair is a really dull dark blonde. Lovely natural highlights if I go on hols, but come the winter, it's just depressing.
i don't have any grey yet, so that's a plus

My skin is ok smile

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 11:43:24

I think you just need to accept that you need to wash and dry your hair every day - sorry, but I do understand with very fine hair this is unavoidable.

Nobody will notice things like cuticles. If you don't care for yourself, don't bother with this. Just keep your nails clean and cut short - people will notice dirty nails.

I have to moisturise if my skin is dry otherwise it gets irritated and sore. But I keep a tube of moisturiser downstairs and only put it on before I go out if my skin actually look dry. Although I do have to moisturise my legs sometimes to stop them getting too dry and hurting.

Could you do your heels weekly in a bath? Would take less time than a pedicure?

I know money is an issue so this doesn't help you at the moment. But when I have found shoes I really like - if they will go with lots of things - I often buy more than 1 pair to save on future shopping. I also have about 4 pairs of black trousers all the same.

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 11:46:20

And i do think Matronalia is right. Nearly everyone notices these things much less than you think they will. We notice stuff about our own appearance that others are oblivious to. I also agree with rarely looking in mirrors as well.

northernrock Tue 18-Oct-11 11:47:24

Clarks are great for comfy yet quite styley shoes .
Dry shampoo Lesley-I tells ya!

AbsofCroissant Tue 18-Oct-11 11:49:16

I also have fine hair which needs washing a lot, but dry shampoo is AWESOME. It means that instead of washing and faffing with it every day, you can put on the dry shampoo on day two and see how it goes from there. I have the Baptiste but actually my favourite is a klorane one (but I didn't buy it in the UK - bought it over two years ago in Geneva and it's still going).

In winter, don't really bother about legs (I still do armpits as they do end up smelling) and when I start to get "enough already" (generally c. Feb) I go and have it all waxed off.

For dry skin, maybe start using a shower gel that's moisturising, like (cheaper option) the E45 one you get in Boots or (fancy option) the almond oil one from L'Occitane.

Greatdomestic Tue 18-Oct-11 11:51:48

I'm very lazy towards grooming, but have exceptionally dry skin. Looks like a snowstorm unless I moisturise regularly.

My top tip is to buy the cheapest of cheap body lotions and slap it on from neck to toes at night, chuck on your jammies and bedsocks on = soft and smooth skin in the morning. It won't win you any prizes in the glamour stakes though.

Popbiscuit Tue 18-Oct-11 11:55:58

Why don't you take a break for a while, OP? It can be sort of liberating to go all-natural for a period of time and then you will get a better sense of how important those things are to you in the grand scheme of things. Keep up with good nutrition and exercise but try going make-up free, easy hair for a few weeks? I did this over the summer and it's amazing how much time you free up!

witchyhills Tue 18-Oct-11 12:04:37

I might try and find that shampoo.
As my hair is short, it's sticking out everywhere when I get up in the morning!
The time I spend wetting it down, I might as well wash it

thing is, if I don't get in the shower and wash my hair, I just feel gross
It only takes 2 minutes

I really don't look in the mirror that much, my mil was a bit shocked that we don't have a full length mirror.

it just doesn't take much to make me feel like a slob, so I feel like I need to make the effort
but seriously, DS doesn't care what I look like, DH doesn't care, family wouldn't care.
would anyone notice?
Maybe because I live in a pretty affluent area, a lot of yummy mummies, maybe that's the pressure, but it's not really, I don't care about that.

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 12:06:03

I will try dry shampoo!

I have also put conditioner just over my legs for a 20 seconds in the bath, and that moisturises them.

lesley33 Tue 18-Oct-11 12:09:23

Lots of yummy mummies where I live as well. tbh I have sometimes been a bit intimidated by some of these very groomed women. But I have recently become friends with 1 of these women and although I often look a mess in comparison she either doesn't notice or doesn't care. We just have a good laugh together.

Unless lack of grooming is extreme e.g. smelly, stained clothes, filthy nails, most people outside of teenage girls don't care what you look like.

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