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In thinking my husband has a secret life?

(21 Posts)
Pfriend Tue 18-Oct-11 10:29:51

In the last few days there have been a variety of threads about people moaning about their DH's nasty habits. Namely leaving manky bits of food in the plug hole of the sink, pooing in the bathroom while the DW is in the bath and sitting on the sofa straight after going for a run.
All of these things my DH does. Surely there can't be that many skanky blokes around?

AIBU in thinking my DH is a secret bigamist who is married to these other mumsnetters and carries on his skanky habits at their houses too?

OldGreyWassailTest Tue 18-Oct-11 10:34:10

I think you all ought to get together and compare notes - sounds suspicious to me!

rhondajean Tue 18-Oct-11 10:45:23

Im having a horrible thought - its either the ONE BLOKE or this is Common Bloke Behaviour.

Im reasonable assured its not DH as he does the sitting on the sofa after a run but does not pooh anywhere near me and is not too bad with the sink.

If its Common Bloke Behaviour I think we should all LEAVE THE BASTARDS!!

buttonmoon78 Tue 18-Oct-11 10:48:28

DH sits on the sofa in his sweaty work clothes (and then moans about how dirty it is).

He always leaves the sink dirtier than when he began.

But he is very private about his poos. So I know I'm def not married to your DH Pfriend grin

BupcakesandHaunting Tue 18-Oct-11 11:07:05

<raises hand>

Mine is the manky food in sink one.

<proud>

<rethinks>

<ashamed>

Pfriend Tue 18-Oct-11 11:33:52

Does he do the other things though Bupcakes?

AngryFeet Tue 18-Oct-11 11:36:20

Mine does all of the above (well he doesn't run but comes home from work covered in grime and sits on the sofa - thank the lord for removable covers!).

Men are a bit manky in general. Well the men I fancy are anyway, clearly I have issues ;)

AngryFeet Tue 18-Oct-11 11:37:42

The pooing when I am in the bath would only be in an exceptional circumstance though as we have 3 loos in our house but he has done it when desperate. He does sit on the loo for 30 mins at a time though which really annoys me.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Tue 18-Oct-11 11:44:09

Manky food in the sink <tick>

Pooing while I'm in the bath <narrows eyes - just let him try>

Sitting on the sofa after a run <tick, but then they go in the machine and I'm just pleased he's keeping healthy after all the scares he's had>

He is lovely, but definitely takes the look off the place.

carmenelectra Tue 18-Oct-11 11:44:15

Sitting on the loo for long periods of time really irritates me. Why do men make going to the toilet an activity? Mine is just a bodily function, done and dusted, not drawn out so it becomes a 'job'.

My Dp would never wear dirty clothes on the sofa though.

He sometimes pisses in the sink in the utility room though if he is desperate and the bathroom is occupied.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Tue 18-Oct-11 12:14:51

Agree. I'd also like to know what happens during the digestive process to make the outcome so pungent - and why my DH needs to poo 4 or 5 times a day. What on earth does he retain?? confused

coraltoes Tue 18-Oct-11 12:19:01

It's not just the time it takes to poo but the announcement of "I'm going to sit on the loo". Any woman would just skulk off, poo, flush, return to previous task. He, however, announces his departure, takes 30 mins then wonders where we are when he finally remembers to come back.

StickyGhost Tue 18-Oct-11 12:33:34

Yes what is it about blokes and poos? Why the need to take hours over it like you're expelling some priceless gem?

carmen, in the sink? really? I suspect my DP has secretly done this as well.<boak>

MrGin Tue 18-Oct-11 12:40:30

I think the extended sessions in the loo is ' me time ' for your DHs.

Time to ponder undisturbed.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall Tue 18-Oct-11 12:51:01

YANBU.

My DH is also married to the Mumsnetter whose husband leaves his clean clothes on the bedroom floor so that they get kicked around and mixed up with the dirty clothes.

I would say "Give him back!" but, that side of him, she's welcome to!

BupcakesandHaunting Tue 18-Oct-11 12:52:04

"Does he do the other things though Bupcakes?"

No.

Shitting whilst I am in the bath would be a divorce offence, I'm afraid. I can't think of anything less appealing or more likely to put you off having sex with someone. <boak>

PinotScreechio Tue 18-Oct-11 12:57:03

Mine does none of these things.

He's just perfect

<dies laughing>

<WHEEZE>

Gloribe Tue 18-Oct-11 14:02:35

If that's the case then you're welcome to him full time.

AScatteringofPoorSardines Tue 18-Oct-11 14:39:55

TheTenant I am married to that one too, except he has 'improved' since I had a word. He now drapes his clean/dirty/dead clothes over the banister/back of chair/nearest thing higher than the ground all together in one big pile. Lovely.

He is same one who goes off for hour long poos a few times a day, although I'm beginning to think maybe that is a smokescreen and enables him to carry out his polygamous lifestyle

Maisiethemorningsidecat Tue 18-Oct-11 14:43:39

That's it - I bet DH hides his other wives in the cistern. That's why he's in there for so bloody long each day.

How on earth they ever get any work done at his gaff I've no idea, with all these blokes locked in the loo for hours at a time.

chill1243 Tue 18-Oct-11 14:44:45

I do rip off my finger nails rather than biting them or using scissors.

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