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To think my sister should just go back to work

(144 Posts)
allmyfriendsaremarried Mon 17-Oct-11 20:01:26

I know everyone is having a tough time at the moment but I am beginning to wonder if my sister is being unrealistic about being a SAHM. She has a 4 year old (now at school) and a one year old. Her husband works for the council in what was a well paid job but due to cut backs they are beginning to struggle financially. Personally I would think that returning to some sort of part time work would be beneficial for all now. She is very funny about this sort of thing and thinks that pre school child care is the work of the devil and that mums who return to work are bad mothers. Most of my friends with babies have returned to work once their children are one years old mainly for financial reasons and I can see they are not bad parents. So AIBU or is she BU. It does grate on me that I work to support my lifestyle so why shouldn't she, after all they chose to have children? Sorry if this seems harsh but I am getting a bit fed up of hearing how hard up they are.

candycoatedwaterdrops Sat 19-Oct-13 10:16:31

Zombie thread guys. wink

Fleta Sat 19-Oct-13 10:20:24


I'm a SAHM - my daughter is at school. AFAIC it is far more important for me to be a SAHM now than ever before.

At the end of the day it is her choice.

3littlefrogs Sat 19-Oct-13 10:24:48

I went back to work when DC3 was 1 year old. It was 2 years before I began to keep a little bit of my salary, and a further 2 years until I was able to keep about 50%. That was during term time. In the holidays I went back to only being able to keep a little bit.

Child care and travel is extortionate.


xCupidStuntx Sat 19-Oct-13 13:46:39


hobnobsaremyfave Sat 19-Oct-13 13:54:54

why the fuck did soneone feel the need to bump this two year old thread? the mind boggles

bellablot Sat 19-Oct-13 13:56:18

YANVU and very judgemental, keep your nose out!

noddingoff Sat 19-Oct-13 23:46:44

A brisk, "If ya can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em" should do the trick. Harsh but true.

frogspoon Sun 20-Oct-13 00:26:03

YANBU to be annoyed and frustrated by your sisters moaning down the phone about struggling financially.

However YABU to decide whether or not she works, that's her choice.

Next time she starts moaning down the phone, just change the subject.

fridayfridayfriday Sun 20-Oct-13 00:58:17

OP, It's "Hear hear" and not "Here here". Correcting other people when you can't get your own shit right.

Viviennemary Sun 20-Oct-13 01:14:50

It's really not up to you to decide whether or not she goes back to work. Of course if she asks you for your opinion then give it. If she doesn't then it would be best to keep quiet about it.

Pitmountainpony Sun 20-Oct-13 05:19:44

She clearly wants to stay home and care for her kids more than the extra money to relieve financial pressures. Does not mean she can,t grumble when it helps her about money being tight...that's what you do with friends and family sometimes to relieve the worry a bit. If you are not ok with that tell her you don't ever want to hear about it. Be prepared for her to be less tolerant of your grumbling when you want to though.

Yetanotherrandomman Sun 20-Oct-13 06:41:13

I disagree with others here and think this is a clear YANBU. I think that if you grumble about a problem to someone, it is totally reasonable to expect sympathy and a solution. In this case, the solution is for her to get a job.

It is your DS's choice to be a SAHM - but if she takes that choice it is her responsiblity to accept the ramifications of that choice, ie, having less money.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 20-Oct-13 10:23:30

Alexishurricane, why on earth did you reinstate this thread? confused

Pagwatch Sun 20-Oct-13 10:32:33

Why the holy fuck do people resurrect 2 year old threads ?


Helltotheno Sun 20-Oct-13 10:52:22

Maybe its something about older women, they seem to be all for staying at home scraping through life on bread and water but feeling fulfilled as a mother. I've just turned 21

Not to continue a zombie thread but... crass and ageist generalisation much dahling?

Pagwatch Sun 20-Oct-13 10:55:56

So resurrecting a zombie thread and posting shite

Two badges for Alexishurricane.

LEMisdisappointed Sun 20-Oct-13 10:59:16

YABsoU I don't even have the words to express it.

LEMisdisappointed Sun 20-Oct-13 11:00:02

Oh FFS - zombie thread angry Well at least the OP will have had time to see the error of her ways by now

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