AIBU to expect DH to back me up?

[boohoobabywho]

today my dd (7.9) came in and asked if she could help GND with a computer game and i said no, because BBF will be here in 5 mins. she began to argue and i said 'i have said no, becuase BFF will be here in 5 mins, so dont argue with me' this usually does the job.

But when BFF turns up DD is in GND house playing this computer game. I am really cross and have said that as a punishment she should not have anything out of the goodie cupboard for a week. i turned to DH who witnessed the whole thing and said... isnt that right... and he just shrugged!

thing is i always back him up, even if i think hes being a bit harsh, AIBU to want to ban his goddies for a week too?

[cuttingpicassostoenails]

GND?
BFF?





WTF?

[BertieBotts]

What is GND and BFF?

[worraliberty]

GND? BBF? BFF?

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Girl next door and best female friend?

[Rindercella]

I am the Queen of TLAs, but even I don't have a clue what you're on about OP!

[microfight]

????

[troisgarcons]

I have no idea what GND, a BFF or a BBF is or even if its relevent.

treats in this house are bought when earned ... not stock piled in a cupboard and used as tool for good behaviour.

A week for a 7yo is a bit harsh

[worraliberty]

Not to mention banning his 'goddies'...that sounds painful

[maras2]

Have you escaped from the other site for mothers ? There seems to be a bit of an exodus from there today.

[boohoobabywho]

Girl next door and best friend forever... sorry bbf typo!

Just so mad......

a week for a 7 year old is a bit harsh... what do you suggest?

[MistressFrankly]

Yeah i think OP means girl next door and best friend forever but i am more intrigued by the ban his goddies for a week i am presuming typo of goodies or is this some euphemism i dont know or does he have small gods round for tea? i am so confused

[boohoobabywho]

;) you know what i mean by goodies!

[ChaoticAngelofSamhain]

YANBU Your DH should have backed you up, at least in front of your DD.

[MistressFrankly]

Oh i know goodies but goddies are a new one on me

[sunshinehugs]

Regardless, your DP should have backed you up! Can't believe he just shrugged. What did he say after the matter? As for the existence of a goody cupboard, thats personal preference isn't it? Whether you buy before or after.

[DefectingMama]

YANBU - DH should always back you up in front of the children even if YABU to them - which you were.

[boohoobabywho]

so why was i being unreasonable to my dd if she had openly defied me by going to GND? she asked, i said no, she tried to argue i said no. she went anyway.

i know that shes only seven but soon she'll be 14 and i'll be telling her she cant go to the pub! if i cant control a 7 year old i'll have no hope when she's 14 will i?

I'm a great fan of nip it in the bud. she already wont listen to a word DH says, should i just rollover and let her do as she wishes?

[ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern]

YANBU - he should have backed you up.

However, I don't see why she couldn't go next door until her friend arrived.

But, as you said no and she went anyway - I'd probably ban her from playing with GND for a week, not not having treats.

Each to their own, however, and I agree DH needs his goodies banned too

[MangoMonster]

YANBU, he should have backed you up in front of Dd and then taken it up with you afterwards if he had an issue.

[boohoobabywho]

friend who was coming over was literally 3 mins away. thought about banning GND for a week, but they go to different schools and dont see each other in the week anyway.

I ban goodies because that works with her. When we go shopping she gets to choose a multipack of goodies (say 5 curly wurleys). they go in the goodie cupboard and when she has been especially good she gets to chose something to actually eat. this rewards her twice, once in the selection and once in the eating!

[Shakey1500]

Yes, he should have backed you up, but it does seem a bit harsh.

By the by, is a BFF a "best friend forever"??? Really? No offence but isn't it a bit care bear/playground?

I admit I may be behind the times though

[troisgarcons]

BFF >vomit

[Rindercella]

Babywho, seriously I am unsure whether or not your DH was right or wrong in backing you. I guess he probably should in front of your DD. But then I think that you probably are not always right (I know I'm not!) when disciplining your children. Perhaps it just wasn't a big deal to him, hence the shrug.

However, I would be really careful in endorsing those terms you used in your OP - GND (girl next door) and BFF (best friend forever). The girls are 7 years old. The GND could very easily turn into the BFF in a blink of an eye.

The very fact you use them so freely in a casual post on a forum indicates your thoughts about your daughter's friends.

Friendships can change in seconds, days, weeks, years. It would make you a very wise parent to remove yourself as far as possible from any potential fall out.

[boohoobabywho]

ok so tell me what i think about my daughters friends....?

[Rindercella]

Do you really believe a 7 year old child is going to be a friend forever of your child's? If not, then why use that slightly creepy term?

I have no idea what you feel about your daughter's friends. But if the language you used in this thread is the language you normally use in front of her then you are digging yourself a very large hole.