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To now really loose my temper with this parent..

(20 Posts)
MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 10:55:36

My other thread is here (related to childminding)

thread here

Said parent text me at 7pm on friday evening asking if she could come collect the spare clothes & nappies she left with me for her D, I said it is to late to come now as i am in the middle of bathing DD, and i am busy all weekend (training yesterday, family for dinner today)

I am out on little errands and helping a friend on monday and tuesday so i said to her she could come Monday or tuesday evening or Wednesday daytime, As per my other thread (above) she owes me a sum of money for services used and the money is due to be paid to me by Wednesday next week (19th) so i mentioned will you be bringing payment at the same time as collecting the things. She replied to me saying that the college are making the payment to me by Wednesday and that it will be in my bank by then.

Well last time i got paid from her college the money showed in my account on the Sunday, As their process is that they pay by BACS on a Thursday and takes a few days to clear (last time Sunday)

Should I now be thinking that the money is not going to be with me by Wednesday as it is not there now? I was told by the college they will only ever pay on a thursday so i doubt they would do a different day to suit her.

I am so angry, and the stress is really getting me down with this whole situation, do I wait till wednesday then demand she brings my money in cash? or do i just go ahead with small claims?

FabbyChic Sun 16-Oct-11 11:01:11

Tell her when you get paid all outstanding she can have her stuff back and not before, and to be honest if a BACS is done on Thursday it goes in on a Monday, Sunday is a non banking day.

Groovee Sun 16-Oct-11 11:27:36

I'd tell her that once she has payment for you cash in hand, she can then collect the things as you'll never see her again with that money.

My work forgot to pay me when I did extra hours and I complained to the manager of the department and she had payment in my bank later that day. Most banks now credit to a current account within 2 hours.

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 11:30:39

It could be possible that it will show tomorrow, at the start of october when the college paid my by bacs it showed in my account on the sunday, I couldn't use it but it showed as going in for the monday.

I did think I could say you will get your stuff when I get my money but wondered if that would make me as bad as her?

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 11:30:39

It could be possible that it will show tomorrow, at the start of october when the college paid my by bacs it showed in my account on the sunday, I couldn't use it but it showed as going in for the monday.

I did think I could say you will get your stuff when I get my money but wondered if that would make me as bad as her?

Birdsgottafly Sun 16-Oct-11 11:38:39

"Tell her when you get paid all outstanding she can have her stuff back"

You aren't allowed to do that as only a registered balliff has the authority to hold goods in lieu of payment, so be very careful. She would have the right to turn up at your door with the police.

Birdsgottafly Sun 16-Oct-11 11:42:03

Just remember one police incidence and that could be your childminding business out of the window, especially if there were other children present.

Tbh, you sound overstreched.

If you cannot, in future manage 3 school runs, then don't do it, this isn't a favour, it's a business, if you agree to take on work, don't expect parents to take that into account, there part of the deal is paying you. Set oput clear terms and conditions, in the future.

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 12:08:47

birds I'm not over stretched with only 1 child to look after 2 hours a day.

When I took the parent that owes me money on she told me I would just have to pick up, which meant only 2 runs a day. Then when she said split with her husband she asked me to do the morning run aswel. I did this on the basis of getting my money from her for the hours I was working!

I have clear terms and conditions which asks the parent to pay me.. On this occasion it hasn't happened!

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 12:08:47

birds I'm not over stretched with only 1 child to look after 2 hours a day.

When I took the parent that owes me money on she told me I would just have to pick up, which meant only 2 runs a day. Then when she said split with her husband she asked me to do the morning run aswel. I did this on the basis of getting my money from her for the hours I was working!

I have clear terms and conditions which asks the parent to pay me.. On this occasion it hasn't happened!

Melindaaa Sun 16-Oct-11 12:17:18

YABU
Can you really not spare the 30 seconds it would take to hand over a bag? Or even to leave it on the door step for her?

In future you should only ever mind the child if you have been paid in advance. No money, no childcare.

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 12:24:12

melinda did you read the other thread with the back story?

I did take payment up front, I got a month for october. The money she owes me is for additional hours and the notice period.

I am not leaving a bag of nappies and clothes on the door step just in case they go missing.

And no I don't have time to deal with her when I am sorting my child out, I am quite reluctant to do anything for her given the current situation she is leaving me in.

I have done nothing but cry this last week as I am so stressed that this has happened to me.

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 12:24:13

melinda did you read the other thread with the back story?

I did take payment up front, I got a month for october. The money she owes me is for additional hours and the notice period.

I am not leaving a bag of nappies and clothes on the door step just in case they go missing.

And no I don't have time to deal with her when I am sorting my child out, I am quite reluctant to do anything for her given the current situation she is leaving me in.

I have done nothing but cry this last week as I am so stressed that this has happened to me.

Morloth Sun 16-Oct-11 12:40:00

You are going to need to toughen up if you are going to run a business. Sometimes people don't pay their bills.

Give her back her stuff and if the money doesn't appear then chase it up within the terms of your contract.

Stop crying, you can't run a business if you are going to cry when people play silly buggers, because she may be the first but she is very very unlikely to be the last.

Booooooyhoo Sun 16-Oct-11 12:50:31

sorry but why would you lose your temper with her when it is the college taht are dealing with teh money and all she has done s asked if she can collect some stuff that would literally take seconds to pass out through the door. i dont know why you are being so awkward. ok so you were bathing DD on friday evening, what about once DD went to bed? couldn't you have handed the stuff out then? and surely you weren't away the whole of saturday? what about teh evening? family for dinner doesn't take up the whole day (clearly as you have had plenty of time to post and respond here). i think YABU.

Birdsgottafly Sun 16-Oct-11 12:51:47

OP put it down to a learning curve. I could only wonder if the mother who has split from her partner is perhaps going through a tough time and she is asking you to do to much, that is what i meant by overstretched.

It isn't your problem, however, there has to be a limit to you being accomodating and it looks like you have reached this.

You need to keep things as a business relationship and try not to allow it to personally upset you.

MaryPoppinsMagic Sun 16-Oct-11 13:19:54

boohoo

My contract is with her, legally she is responsible for paying me what she owes. I'm loosing my temper because I'm tired of her telling me one thing and another thing happening

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Sun 16-Oct-11 13:21:51

You're clearly free now so why can;t she pop round for her things? It'snot like she'd expect to come in, she just wants her stuff back and really you risk getting yourself a very bad reputation if you do this. I understand your frustration, but parents of young children do talk. If you behave this way towards her do you really think it wont get out?

Booooooyhoo Sun 16-Oct-11 13:23:24

yes she made the contract, but i am assuming you agreed with her before signing that you were happy for the college to make the payments to you? i have used childminders before and was always asked at the first meeting how i would be paying (childcare vouchers/cash/cheque/standing order etc) then at the second meeting the contract would have been made up with my method of payment written on it.

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 16-Oct-11 13:24:36

One of the disadvantages are being SE is that people may not pay or pay late and you would be wise to have made a contingency plan for this when setting up.

If you are crying over one client having trouble with the college paying, then perhaps being self employed isnt for you.

It would take less than a minute to hand over a bag of clothes, why make her wait days? Seems petty.

RedHelenB Sun 16-Oct-11 13:27:30

I think yabu if you were in on Friday not to let her pop round with it, sorry. A childminder relies heavily on word of mouth so with holding her things to make a popint won't achieve much.

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