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That OH doesn't have to stay out until 4am every night out?

(2 Posts)
Snufflebabe Sun 16-Oct-11 06:59:38

For the second week running, OH has just got home from a night out at 4 am. Last week he was in such a state, he got up out of bed twice, unable to find his way to the toilet. Waking me and our 1 year old DD.

background, OH is in a lot of debt, from loans taken out before we met. He works very long hours, and doesn't go out that often, as he simply can't afford it. Last week was meant to be a couple of beers with the boys, this week was a works night out. I've no problem with the going out side of thing, it's the fact that Sundays are our only day together as a family, as he works a sat( with a day off mid week), and him getting home at 4am, pretty much ruins any family day we have.

Last Sunday he got up, was sick, then had to go back to bed. I spent our Sundays trying to entertain DD, get the food shop done, the washing ready forbthe week, and seeing the in laws, while OH will sit quietly suffering.

I can count on one hand the amount of nights out ive had this year, and if I know that DD is at home and I have the day with her the next day, I take it easy, so that I am fresh the next day. I just couldn't get home at 4am, as it would be unfair to OH and DD.

I think OH sees it as a chance to have a blowout, as he doesn't do it that often. I just wondered if other people in the same situation do the same thing?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 16-Oct-11 08:50:30

YANBU It doesn't really matter what other people do. If you can't afford it and it leaves him ill & useless all weekend, and if it's bothering you, then it's not working. I think you should talk when he's still feeling nicely hungover and contrite. If he's stressed out by debt, the answer is not to go out with friends getting hammered. Maybe start there... have a heart-to-heart about the money problems, book an appointment with CAB (if you haven't already gone that route) and put a moritorium on drunken nights out until he's made some headway managing the problem.

Yes... everyone needs to relax, but there are more sensible options when you've got a family and responsibilities.

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