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To want to quite my 'perfect' job after only a month?

(23 Posts)
BobMarley Sat 15-Oct-11 10:13:07

I do three days a week, it pays very well and it looks good on my cv. But...I HATE it. I don't like the work and I don't like my boss, the whole atmosphere is getting me down. I don't think it is worth disrupting my family life for, all of a sudden life is hectic, there is no time for anything. All for a job that I don't even like.

But in the current climate, after a few years of not working would it be incredibly stupid to walk out? I don't need to do it for the money, my DH has a reasonably paid job and we have relatively low living costs (no mortgage).
But I do think I will have a problem resurrecting any kind of career if I don't stick this out.

squeakytoy Sat 15-Oct-11 10:18:06

If you dont want to do it, dont need to do it, and would be happier not doing it, then yes, quit.

yellowraincoat Sat 15-Oct-11 10:19:28

When you say it's your dream job, do you mean that you envisaged you would enjoy this type of work? Or just that it is well-paid and not too many hours?

cubscout Sat 15-Oct-11 10:19:57

i would not quit just yet. I have hated almost every new job when I first started, and some I grew to love. It's also particularly hard to start again after a gap, in my case I think I romanticised work after being at home for 2 years.

Can you do a list of pros and cons? Can you give yourself a target of say 6 months and then if yo still hate it quit? Or just start casting about for possible alternatives?

LostInTheWoods Sat 15-Oct-11 10:22:30

I'd say quit.

I hate my job, I despise it with a passion but I'm the breadwinner so have no choice. It's soul destroying and if I could, I'd quit tommorow.

However, is there a chance it will lead to something better? Why is it your dream job? Your post is a little contradictory.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 15-Oct-11 10:23:25

It's far too soon for you to decide to quit. You don't know what your financial future holds for you or for your family and, if this really is the 'dream job' for you, it's a stepping stone to your next one.

The company has appointed you thinking that you're the best candidate for the job so start making the job your own and if things still annoy you later on down the line, you'll have the confidence to address those things and/or look for another job.

I know you say that your DH earns a good wage but really, OP, that shouldn't even be a factor in considering what's good for your career. It's just making your resolve weaker than it would be if you really needed to have this job.

cjbartlett Sat 15-Oct-11 10:24:51

I think it takes at least 6 months to settle into a job and get to know your colleagues etc
stick it out
you might enjoy it a bit more soon
what does your dh think you should do?

Red2011 Sat 15-Oct-11 10:29:06

Bah - life's too short. If it isn't good, leave!

Before I became a mature student (eg old person at college), I had been in a job that at interview and on paper sounded amazing. Really good money - we were going to sell our flat, and move to a bigger house. BUT, on the first day, I wasn't sure it was the right job for me; by a week in, I was fairly sure. A month later I knew, but I still persuaded myself it could get better. About a year or so in, I had some health problems, and that made me totally review the situation. As soon as I was able to return to work full time, I handed in my notice and signed up to do a 3 year degree course in something totally unrelated but of interest to me.

You have said the loss of income is not an issue, so go for it.

BobMarley Sat 15-Oct-11 10:31:24

It is a 'dream' job as in it is back in the field I've always worked in, it is three days a week and it pays well. I think I did romanticise being back at work after so long at home so maybe it is just a inevitable reality-check and should give it a bit longer. I just don't see it getting much better though.

The point about my husband earning enough is indeed not a good one as I do think I should be able to earn money independently, if possible. However, in the short term it does mean I have a choice not to work.

My DH just wants me to do whatever I think is best. I think he is not wanting to give me too much advice as he feel it is my decision and he doesn't want to pressure me either way.

callmemrs Sat 15-Oct-11 10:31:42

Good post, Lying.

A month is no time at all to make such a decision. As you work only 3 days a week, that means 'you are literally 12 days into the job!!!

If after a solid few months you decide this isn't the job for 'you, then apply for a new one. At least with this on your cv you'll be in a better position.

Also agree that you shouldn't rely totally on your dh earning good money at the moment to be the deal breaker. His job may come under threat, he may decide he doesn't enjoy his work, and that he wants more flexibility to move jobs, cut hours etc. Also you need to think about your long term plans and your pension etc

Being mortgage free is nice, but frankly mortgages are very low now anyway. It's everything else- heating, food, making pension payments etc which eats up money. I really think you should try to define exactly what is making you unhappy. Is it the actual job, or is it the boss/colleagues? Or is it simply adjusting to work after having not worked for a few years?

Once you know what it is, then sure, make plans to change things, but it's always easier to move to a new job while you're already in work

BobMarley Sat 15-Oct-11 10:34:34

Years ago I have been in a similar situation and I knew after a few weeks that it wasn't right for me. I stuck it out but it never got any better, even after having numerous conversations with bosses etc. It was soul destroying and I was relieved to eventually been made redundant. It feels very similar to that situation.

TadlowDogIncident Sat 15-Oct-11 11:08:22

It may feel very similar, but that doesn't mean it actually is - I agree with those who say you should give it at least 6 months before quitting. I hated my first job for the first six months, but shed tears when I left it after 4 years!

I'm not clear what you don't like about the job? Is it the personalities, the work, the building? There may be things you can do about the problems, and if not, you can always move on in a few months' time. It's so much easier to get a job when you've already got one.

callmemrs Sat 15-Oct-11 11:27:13

Turn the situation around.

Imagine a woman who has worked for years, starting maternity leave and feeling after just 12 days that it's unfamiliar, not how she expected it to be, and not enjoyable. Would you tell her to rush straight back to work? I doubt it. The advice would be to stick with it, try to identify the issues - loneliness, boredom? - and take steps to alleviate it.

You need to approach this in a similar way. It always surprises me a bit when people treat the working world as if it's something scary to be avoided if possible, and suggest that you should just jack it in if its not providing instant gratification. Working is a fact of life for virtually all of us- unless you are born into extreme wealth or have the misfortune to be physically unable to work. One day your own children might have to do jobs which are tough, challenging, boring ... Very few people walk into their dream job and feel that way forever more.

I am not suggesting staying there years if you are genuinely unhappy, but I do think jacking it in after a month (ie 12 days actual work as you're part time) would be a massive mistake. You would either had to Leave it off your cv or explain away why you left after a month. All in all it will make it harder when you look for your next job. Also, your feelings may be partly to do with adjusting to work generally after several years not working, in which case 'you might feel similar to this no matter how good the job and colleagues. Unless you intend to never work again and expect your dh to support the family singlehandedly forever - which is hardly fair or desirable- then it's a bridge you'll have to cross at some point.

Why not set yourself a 6 month time frame? If you feel the same, you can apply for new jobs from a position of strength rather than having run away from a difficult situation?

I'd stick t out a bit longer and look for something else in the meantime, its easier to move on than start again. good luck

sarahtigh Sat 15-Oct-11 16:08:01

give it 3 months or possibly 6 but no longer by then it will either be fine or you will be sure it is wrong and a 6 month job on CV looks better than 1 month whatever the reason

bottleofbeer Sat 15-Oct-11 16:43:47

I had a similar situation a few years ago. Doing my early years training and had to take a post at a nursery to complete the practical side of the course.

I hated it, literally hated it. I was given zero direction from any of the staff and the head nursery nurse couldn't have made it plainer she didn't want me there. There is using your initiative and there is being left high and dry without the first clue of what to do. Eventually I forged myself a place there with things to do to make it worth my while even being the (not that it mattered, nobody ever checked up I even attended my placement, let alone what I was achieving during my time there). It was only two mornings a week but I dreaded those two mornings to the point it had a knock on effect with everything.

I stuck it out purely because I had to get a certain amount of hours under my belt but as soon as those hours were completed I walked out and never went back. People called me defeatist, told me that I'd experienced the worst side of the job and surely future placements/jobs would be better? stick it out to the end of the year, prove to yourself you can do it. The place was awful, terribly run and completely put me off the idea of using one for my daughter when I qualified myself. I also got stick (on a forum) for being up myself and thinking I knew the job better than those there who'd done it for years (believe me, it wasn't that AT ALL, it was so bad I contacted Ofsted with a list of the horrible things I witnessed).

Life really is too short to stick at something you don't have to do. Really.

Andrewofgg Sat 15-Oct-11 17:43:05

You really need to think of your future cv. And the suggestion that you might leave it off is frankly dishonest. Employers are entitled to knwo your work history "warts and all".

BimboNo5 Sat 15-Oct-11 17:51:14

I felt the same when I startedd my job last year. I hated it and wondered why i'd bothered training to do it, felt it was all a big waste of time. The job was (and still is) stressful, there was (and at times still is) a lack of teamwork and I didn't get on with any of my colleagues. After six months however it all just seemed to click into place and I truly feel like I am doing the job I love. I still get very stressful days and think life would be easier doing a minimum wage shop job, but on the whole I love my job now. If its worth it, try to stick at it.

Fixture Sat 15-Oct-11 18:02:48

If you hate the job then it's not "perfect" smile

Applemartini Sat 15-Oct-11 18:32:52

I was in a similar situation earlier this year- 2 months into job I knew it wasn't for me. Mainly down to the atmosphere in a small team, and one or two personalities. I did stick it out for a while but at 5 months I was practically running out of the door. This was the only time I had ever had such a short lived job, and I haven't found any difficulty in subsequent interviews. Most people understand that things sometimes aren't a good fit. Just make sure the next job, if you go back is a better fit.

OneNerveAndYouAreOnIt Sat 15-Oct-11 18:32:58

i find it takes around 4 or 5 months to stop feeling that new panicky dont know what you are doing feeling

give it a bit more time. sometimes it can turn on a sixpence

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern Sat 15-Oct-11 18:42:22

I would give it another couple of months - but I would start looking for another job. It's probably best to do damage limitation on your CV if you want to go back to work at any time and you are in the ideal job to do that right now - I think it would be a real shame to throw it away.

northerngirl41 Sat 15-Oct-11 20:43:49

I think it takes time to settle into a new job - especially when you are only there part-time and miss out on some of the office gossip etc. As well as getting to know people, you're also getting to know the job which can be tiring, stressful and a tough learning curve too. About 2-3 months in, you'll also stop being the new girl where everyone holds your hand and have to actually start performing, and that can be scary too.

Realistically if you ever want to include this job on your CV, you need to stick it out for at least a year. If you don't care about having it on your CV, then by all means quit. But otherwise you'll be asked some difficult questions about it and possibly passed over by other "dream" jobs as a result.

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