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AIBU to feel quite sad about this?

(10 Posts)
littlemisssarcastic Sat 15-Oct-11 00:22:05

A friend of mine has been single for a while now, and has told me that all men are cheats...not some..but all...it is in their make up apparently. hmm

What I find even more saddening is that her grown up daughter, who has never been in a relationship, tells me that all men are wankers, who are only good for what they can provide financially. She says she never ever wants to get married unless she stands to inherit a lump sum of money upon divorcing her husband.
She sat there today telling me that she can only see herself being happy if she finds a man who earns a good wage but works away. She'd rather not see her husband very much...but be free to spend his earnings whilst he's away.

If she had been joking, I probably wouldn't have posted, but she is totally serious. She is barely into her 20's, yet has such bitter feelings towards men. I feel very sad that some young women feel so negative towards men that they clump them all together and label all men as wankers. sad

My friend found her daughter's opinion about men amusing and sat there laughing. shock

I have been in an abusive relationship myself, but if my DD grew up and thought all men were nasty/selfish/wankers/twats, I'd feel very sad. How can you expect to meet someone nice if you have this opinion on the opposite sex?

I did say that there are some nasty men, and there are some nice men too. Not all men are nasty, and the same goes for women. She says I am deluded. grin

I also find it very sad that there are some women who rate a man's value by what is in his bank account/on his wage slip? (My friend's DD can't be the only one..surely??)

Am I deluded?

littlemisssarcastic Sat 15-Oct-11 00:26:23

BTW, this friend's DD has expressed this opinion about men since she was as far back as I can remember. Her opinion has never changed, regardless of what kind of mood she is in, so it's not a one off thing today.

I just find it very sad, and in ways I can't explain (brain ache) I feel that having this attitude towards every member of the opposite sex is more likely to result in a woman either not finding a nice decent partner..or remaining single for fear of ending up with a horrible partner.

AgentZigzag Sat 15-Oct-11 00:31:17

You can't really be giving any credibility to a woman who's never even been in a relationship, can you?

Is it possible either it was just an in joke between them, in the way you say 'bastard men, they're all the fucking same <eye roll>', or she was saying it because it was the expected thing for her to say when her mum starts spouting on the subject?

Even if her mum has influenced her views to the extent she actually does think like this, that's not to say she won't meet someone who changes it in an instant.

worraliberty Sat 15-Oct-11 00:32:34

Or hopefully she'll meet someone and realise her Mum was wrong/bitter.

Sadly some parents don't realise it's their responsibility to at least try to ensure their kids keep an open mind about things...relationships, religion, politics....

There's far too much brain washing going on sad

worraliberty Sat 15-Oct-11 00:33:29

Ziggers Get out of my head shock

And please never speak of what you found in there blush

onwardandupwards Sat 15-Oct-11 00:35:00

it only takes one to put you off for a while. Had my heart smashed by ex (he had 5 children behind my back and took me to paris to tell me that so i wouldnt flip out) but one day hope to try again with someone new and wouldnt want my daughter to have a bad opinion of men or have one just to use as a cash point.

squeakytoy Sat 15-Oct-11 00:37:45

Had my heart smashed by ex (he had 5 children behind my back and took me to paris to tell me that so i wouldnt flip out)

I wouldnt have flipped... I would have calmly said "yes dear, thats nice... now how about that trip up the Eiffel Tower"....

Then pushed the bastard off it! grin

onwardandupwards Sat 15-Oct-11 00:43:29

i was tempted! needless to say i dont think paris is the most romantic city in the world!

AgentZigzag Sat 15-Oct-11 00:43:37

blush I promise I will never reveal what you did that dark and stormy night worra if a decent settlement can be negotiated.

I wondered about how far she feels she must conform with her mum about it (especially if her mum's very outspoken and angry) when she's with her.

I can't believe the media or her peers haven't influenced her at all.

Why do you think she's never had a relationship OP?

Could that be wrong?

littlemisssarcastic Sat 15-Oct-11 00:57:59

I don't think she is saying this because of some sort of solidarity between her mum and herself...she will tell me when I am alone too.
Her mother does have a poor opinion of men..but I find it sad when parents tell their DC that all men are wankers/all women are bitches. sad How on earth can you expect your DC to expect to find a nice partner if their parent tells them that there are no decent partners...only liars who convince you they are decent.

I don't think it is all her mother btw. Maybe she is influenced by the media. She loves celebrity mags and is a massive fan of Britney Spears.

I don't know why she hasn't had a relationship yet Agent. She doesn't socialise with anyone and spends every night with her parents. She used to make absurd excuses to her friends not to go out, and eventually, they stopped asking her.
She has been asked on a date by a couple of men, but they are too immature/too young/too weird etc.

I know she wants to meet someone, and really wants a relationship, but she does have a long list of requirements and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, she doesn't go out and has very few friends. (They are too immature for her.)

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