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to stop accepting parcels on a regular basis for next door neighbour?

(105 Posts)
RachelHRD Fri 14-Oct-11 13:58:12

Moved into new build home at the beginning of July - lovely neighbours both sides, get on really well and very friendly. In the first month or so I accepted 3 parcels on behalf of one neighbour - didn't think too much about it. Now the frequency is increasing and I'm pretty much asked (not by them) at least once a week to take in a delivery for them by a courier knocking on the door.
I have now started to say no sorry I'm not happy to accept them as I have 2 under 4 and end up spending the rest of the day keeping them away from the parcel. Also I'm not happy taking responsibility for items on someone else's behalf in case they get broken or not knowing what they are - neighbour runs a beauty business so could be chemicals etc.
I wouldn't mind the occasional parcel but once week is getting a bit much and I don't think they expect us to take them in and would probably feel a bit awkward about the frequency. I haven't had to take any parcels for the other neighbour nor have I had any taken in for me.
Just feeling a bit narked at the snotty response I got from a Royal Mail delivery woman - who said 'fine so I know now not to ask you again or vice versa' - suggesting that I was being unreasonable and so she wouldn't ask anyone to take parcels on my behalf - cheeky cow! I wouldn't expect anyone to - and she's just trying to cut her workload!!

So AIBU or un-neighbourly?

ScaredBear Fri 14-Oct-11 14:03:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chirpchirp Fri 14-Oct-11 14:04:12


You like your neighbours, it's really not that big a deal. Totally don't see a problem here.

switchtvoffdosomelessboring Fri 14-Oct-11 14:06:50

YATotally BU. Whats the problem, its only a parcel? Put it in the cupboard out the way.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Fri 14-Oct-11 14:11:43

YABU, and very unneighbourly. I'd be really shocked if my neighbour did this to me. Couldn't you just put the parcel out of the children's reach?

belledechocchipcookie Fri 14-Oct-11 14:12:02

I don't think you are BU. They are not your parcels and you shouldn't have to spend all day guarding them from little hands. I avoid ordering things off the internet unless I am absolutely certain that I will be in the house to receive them. My neighbours are not my PA's and the delivery people are being lazy when they leave them with you, some will be penalised if they have to return the items to the depot. I'd have a chat with the neighbours, some delivery people knock very early in the morning so it is annoying. Tell them that they need to make sure things are delivered when they are at home as you are not always in.

lesstalkmoreaction Fri 14-Oct-11 14:12:29

yabu and un-neighbourly, crikey its not exactly hard work answering the door and taking in a parcel, put it out of reach if it bothers you that much.
My next door neighbour shops at next and i'm forever taking in clothes on hangers and have them hanging in the hallway or a huge variety of parcels, she works all day and is very grateful that i'm usually in, no big deal its what makes a neighbourhood friendly!!

queenebay Fri 14-Oct-11 14:12:35

No i think you are right. I take in parcels daily for my neighbour-get on reasonably well with her but its a bloody pain in the arse having my hall full of parcels. Then she never comes to collect them so i either have to wait until she is home at 10pm to go out and give them to her or she bangs on my door to come and get them. Ive started refusing them too.
they arent always little parcels too-have had a trampoline once!!

DougalDaydream Fri 14-Oct-11 14:13:47

How mean spirited. YABU.

I am home much more than alot of my neighbours and in the run up to Christmas my house sometimes resembles a distribution warehouse. I do have to keep the parcels safe from the dog and the children but it's not that difficult.

Dawndonna Fri 14-Oct-11 14:14:26

It's part of being a community. I accept parcels for my neighbours all the time, just as they do for me.

ggirl Fri 14-Oct-11 14:15:44

Yabu , if it was everyday I could see that taking the piss but once a week is hardly a bother.
Hide them from your kids.
You may need them to take a parcel in for you one day.

HettyAmaretti Fri 14-Oct-11 14:16:14

YABU I've always regularly taken in parcels for my neighbours, even when I had two under two. The ages of my DC never struck me as an excuse a reason to be unneighbourly hmm

Andrewofgg Fri 14-Oct-11 14:16:28

Provided the neighbour is not like the woman who lives next to queenebay so that you can get rid of the parcels at a sensible hour - YABU. You might need the same help sometime.

minsmum Fri 14-Oct-11 14:19:28

No YANBU I don't take parcels in for next door they used to have stuff delivered daily before they had even moved in & had 4 huge boxes delivered the week before christmas and never came to their house for 2 weeks. So I had their stuff cluttering up my hall. However I don't like them so it makes it easier to say no. I will take in parcels for other neighbours though

Twattingcuntybollocks Fri 14-Oct-11 14:19:53

YABU, although I see your point.

Is it really that hard to put the parcels out the way of your DC? On the dining table (if you have one) or on a kitchen work top.

I regularly take in parcels for my neighbours, much more than once a week, as they do for me. Is it really such a massive inconvenience for you?

belledechocchipcookie Fri 14-Oct-11 14:20:25

I think that you all need to read the OP's post again.

at least once a week and potential chemicals around small children? hmm She's not being unreasonable. You are all being very harsh on her, she's not being unneighbourly or mean spirited, it's bloody annoying. Would you want boxes of lord knows what around your children? And if there's a leak?

valiumredhead Fri 14-Oct-11 14:25:33

I'm forever taking in next door's post/parcels, God only knows what she orders but it used to be at least 4 items a day and sometimes they were huge parcels that took up most of my hall way.

She regularly thanks me in person and gave me a bottle of very expensive wine to thank me.

She would do the same for me if she was ever in

valiumredhead Fri 14-Oct-11 14:26:32

I think it is mean spirited to be moaning about taking a parcel in once a week!

RachelHRD Fri 14-Oct-11 14:27:10

Hmm mixed response - didn't realise I was such an awful neighbour hmm. Like I said if it was the occasional parcel then no problem but every week and they are quite often big heavy boxes that I don't have room to keep away from the kids.

If I was working then I wouldn't constantly be ordering stuff from the internet and never be around to accept delivery for it - and I certainly wouldn't expect my neighbours to have to accept/store it for me. I don't think that is unneighbourly - it's more so to expect someone else to do it for you. If I ever order anything online I make sure I am around for the delivery and if I am not for any reason it invariably goes back to the depot and I rearrange delivery - wouldn't expect anything else.

It's the frequency that bothers me - not the act of helping out a neighbour - more than happy to do that when asked.

whackamole Fri 14-Oct-11 14:27:43

It doesn't bother me. I'll accept anything for a neighbour if I'm in.

I accepted a tv once! I have 2 2 year olds so I just kept it in the porch until the neighbour came home.

naturalbaby Fri 14-Oct-11 14:29:42

a child may break into a package and open a container of something that might contain chemicals? yes it's a risk nobody wants to take but if you're that worried about what's inside then speak to your neighbour. the way 99% of our parcels are packaged the kids couldn't open any of them even with the help of a sharp knife!

the delivery man/woman is choosing the quickest, easiest and most reliable answer - would you like to knock on 1/2dozen doors every day to find someone who is home or choose the one door you can pretty much guarantee an answer 1st time?

if it's such a big deal then speak to your neighbour.

kitsmummy Fri 14-Oct-11 14:30:26

I think once a week is nothing and how does anyone know when a parcel's going to be delivered? Post doesn't always come at the same time of day and couriers can come anytime. I really don't think it's a big deal at all. If I knew my neighbour was specifically refusing to take something in then I think it would definitely sour our relationshiop.

aldiwhore Fri 14-Oct-11 14:30:30

YABU... I have small kids who are great climbers, but I also have a few lockable cupboards and a shed.

Sorry, I know its a PITA, but if you're in its no great shakes, and if you're out, you can't accept them.

I would speak to your neighbours and say you don't mind accepting the packages but its on the understanding that you can't be held responsible if something happens to them then drop one to make the point.

belledechocchipcookie Fri 14-Oct-11 14:32:57

You're not an awful neighbour. She shouldn't order so much stuff if she's not going to be in her house when it's delivered, it's common sense. Being part of a community works 2 ways, she's causing a problem for you. The odd parcel here and there is OK, anything more frequent then once a fortnight is a pain in the ass. I still don't think you're BU.

GandTiceandacauldron Fri 14-Oct-11 14:33:21

YABU. How mean. And surely you havbe a unit or somewhere to put the parcel up out of the way.

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