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Not to want my in laws in our bedroom?

(63 Posts)
sprinkles77 Thu 13-Oct-11 23:28:37

Just that really. Came home to find they were visiting DH to observe help with DS's bath time. DS was out of the bath and in his pyjamas. FIL was sat on our bed, MIL just loitering and DH playing on his phone. DS (19 months) was playing with my shoes and hair brushes. All activities that could have been done in DS's room or the sitting room. DH and I are TTC. The bed is a bit blush. I have charts and thermometers and ovulation predictor kits and moon cup lying about. It's not really the inlaws' fault, though they should really know better. It's DH's.

pookamoo Thu 13-Oct-11 23:31:02

I don't really like anyone being in our bedroom.

As children we were taught not to take our friends into our mum and dad's room, either.

Makes me really a bit cross when SIL brings neices and nephews to our house and they go all over the place, and they are only children... would not like ILs in my room!


Angel786 Thu 13-Oct-11 23:32:24


Your DH shouldn't have let them in as you say. Bedrooms are private places!

ChippingIn Thu 13-Oct-11 23:40:31

YANBU there was no need for anyone to be in there. I'm surprised your DH doesn't know you well enough to know you wouldn't like it.

xxmush1983xx Thu 13-Oct-11 23:43:28

YANBU, I'm not even keen on my children being in my room tbh, too many "things" hidden about that children shouldn't see!! blush

BloodandSCRUMatron Thu 13-Oct-11 23:46:08

I Started hiding in our room when mil called in to take dd2 out every bloody day and pretending I hadn't heard her.

She has now started to stand outside talking to me through the bedroom door hmm it irritates the shit out of me.

Ya defo nbu. Some people are just plain rude

LoopyLoopsPussInBoots Thu 13-Oct-11 23:48:06

YANBU. PILs came to stay (to help out, bless them). I had prepared the spare room. Came back to find they had used our room instead because they prefer it. hmm

Sl1nkyMalinki Thu 13-Oct-11 23:48:56

Gawd, you are definitely NBU!

DH once suggested we have the in laws sleep in our room and we sleep on a blow-up in the living room. I booked them a b&b down the road instead!

My bedroom is my personal space, that's it really!


SIL came to babysit LO a few months ago. She had the run of the house but I closed the door to our bedroom, which in my family is a sign that the room is out of bounds. She had seven other rooms at her disposal.

I left her everything she could possibly need for LO and she had three contact numbers for me and DH, plus numbers for my parents if she needed any immediate help (we were an hour away and I know I sound PFB).

So she needed nothing in there, she had help available and we texted her a few times and spoke to her twice, both times she assured us that LO was fine and in bed.

Now he's lovely when he goes to bed, he has settled himself to sleep without crying since he was six months old and he sleeps right through the night. He has his bedtime stories downstairs and is more than happy to be put in his cot to go to sleep. If he's very tired he asks to go to bed. He goes to bed at 8pm. We told her all of this, she said that was fine. We told her he takes about five or ten minutes to go to sleep and he usually chatters to himself first, but to leave him be unless he started to cry. Again, she said fine.

When we got home, at gone midnight, LO was still up. She admitted he had never been to bed. She said she had tried to get him to sleep, but when she put him into bed he didn't fall asleep right away, so she got him back out because she could hear him talking.

So she brought him downstairs and they played for a bit, then she tried to nurse him to sleep, then decided he would fall to sleep if they both got into our bed and she waited for him to drop off but he didn't, so they staying in our bed while she read to him for a bit and then came back downstairs.

LO was crying when we got home, and she said she had decided to keep him up because we said not to leave him in bed if he cried. She said he had been asking to go to bed but she didn't want to take him while he was crying.

DH drove her home. I pulled my cats bum face a lot and took LO straight upstairs and put him into bed, where he fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

So after I got over being pissed off that LO had been kept up for more than four hours past his bed time (at 2.2 years of age) even though he had cried and asked to go to bed, I got pissed off that she had lied to us about him being in bed and hadn't phoned us to tell us she was having 'difficulties' in getting him to bed. And after I got over that I got pissed off that she had been in our room and in our bed for no good reason.

Which is my long winded and thread hijacking way of saying YANBU, especially if you are not home but come back to find a family gathering taking place amongst your intimate items.

sunnydelight Fri 14-Oct-11 06:23:59

YANBU, I would have had a fit. My bedroom is sacred - nobody goes in there unless I want them too. I am actually so anal about it the kids aren't allowed to use my our en-suite blush To be fair my kids range between 8-18 so it's not as horrible as it sounds. It is totally your DH's fault though, not your in laws.

sunnydelight Fri 14-Oct-11 06:24:37

Oh bugger - you would have thought by now I could do a strike through rather than making it bold!!!

SharrieTBGinzatome Fri 14-Oct-11 06:51:16

Message withdrawn

YellowDave Fri 14-Oct-11 06:55:13

This wouldn't bother me at all. But then I don't have all the personal stuff you describe lying about since I wouldn't want my kids to find it! When kids have their friends over I don't let them have the run of our bedroom mainly because I don't want it turned into a tip and they have enough sapce to destroy play in as it is.

Couldn't care less if people in dh company were in there.

But each to their own - not ils fault though since if your dh wasn't bothered they had no reason to expect that you would be

Arachnophobic Fri 14-Oct-11 06:58:25

It's unfair and YANBU.

But for having a moon cup YABU.

BloodandSCRUMatron Fri 14-Oct-11 07:08:44

sharrie hmm If wanting a bit of peace and quiet when my baby is trying to nap then yep, i'm rude. tbh I couldn't give a shit if it comes across as rude, If means I don't have to pretend to be happy to see her at 9am every bloody morning then <<shrugs>>

SharrieTBGinzatome Fri 14-Oct-11 07:12:39

Message withdrawn

Madinitials Fri 14-Oct-11 07:26:39

YANBU, stay out of my bedroom, it's private. I've never been in PIL's bedroom, what on earth would they be doing in mine?

whackamole Fri 14-Oct-11 07:31:49

YANBU. I feel strange when my mum visits and asks to use my hairdryer in my room! Might have more to do with the fact my room is a shit tip though, no matter how much I try and keep it tidy.

LoveInAColdGrave Fri 14-Oct-11 07:35:38

YANBU. Adults' bedrooms are private.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Fri 14-Oct-11 07:50:19


Hate people in my private space! Still blush from when DD took DNephew and DNiece into my room and DNiece took a very slutty ahem racy item of underwear to show her dad (BIL) and asked if she could have one just like it. shock She's 3.

Thank fuck they didn't find my goody drawer!

madam52 Fri 14-Oct-11 09:00:43

I have a lock on our bedroom door to mainly keep out adult stepchildren who used to wander in to 'borrow' stuff of their dads but its also for anyone else who wanders upstairs to use bathroom aswell - cos its next door..

Nuff said really grin

Iteotwawki Fri 14-Oct-11 09:10:33

It wouldn't bother me in the least. But I'm not you and it clearly bothers you so you are not being unreasonable in the slightest smile

LunaticFringe Fri 14-Oct-11 09:31:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatsRule Fri 14-Oct-11 09:48:12


I usually find my FIL wandering around my bedroom opening drawers and cupboards, why he can't be normal and sit in the livingroom like I do in their house I don't know.

Although, with your issue, I'd be annoyed at DH for being so thoughtless about your privacy.

tryingtoleave Fri 14-Oct-11 09:59:24

Takethisonehere, I think you have a lovely sister who did her best to give you a nice night out and you are being ungrateful.

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