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As a mother of two to have moved house (and country!) twice in past three years - and planning to move again next year?

(5 Posts)
MarianneM Thu 13-Oct-11 21:09:40

I have two DDs aged nearly 3 and 15 months. When DD1 was 18 months we moved to another country, then after a year me moved back to the UK. In a year's time we will move to a different town in the UK for two years, after which we will again have to move somewhere else in the UK.

My problem is that I am concerned about my DDs' friendships with other children. Towards the end of our stay in the other country DD1 started to make friends with the local children (she was only 2,5 though when we moved back), but had to leave them behind. Now she is beginning to get to know other children in our current area, but we will be moving again next year. Then she will start school after a year in the new town, and after her first year at school she will have to move schools as we will relocate somewhere else in the UK. Do children make friends this young? Are we messing up her social life/skills for the future? I am less worried about DD2 as she is younger and has had less disruption in her life.

We should be able to settle somewhere for at least three years when DD1 starts her second year at primary school and DD2 starts school. Am I worrying about nothing?

Sorry if this is really boring - and posting in AIBU as I'm hoping for some kind of response!

4madboys Thu 13-Oct-11 21:14:22

well as the daughter of an father serving in the RAF, we had to move frequently and i never found it a problem, my youger sister found it much harder tho.

i think that as long as YOU make the effort to help her settle in and make friends etc it shouldnt be a problem, kids are pretty resiliant and she is used to moving, so its not new to her!

if anything i think it will make her more flexible and able to mix with a variety of people. really i think with supportive parents she will be fine smile

Rhymenoseros Thu 13-Oct-11 21:23:34

I don't think you should be overly concerned, I have had to move an awful lot and my children had 4 primary school changes. I used to worry a lot about the effect on them but when i talk to them about all the moves and school changes they don't seem look back with sadness, and at the time they just got on with it. My youngest took a while to settle and make friends but because he has had to do this a few times he has learned the skills needed to make friends. They actually now (age 12, 13) keep asking to change secondary schools! (no obvious reasons, just for the sake of it seemingly!)

WibblyBibble Thu 13-Oct-11 21:31:23

The current economic system requires people to chase jobs around. If anyone's fucking up kids, it's repeated governments insisting on laissez faire capitalism, not you. Also pre-primary age it's just daft to think they have 'friends' in the way older children do.

MarianneM Thu 13-Oct-11 22:07:42

Thank you for your responses - I feel somewhat reassured!

What made me think of this now is trying to organise a 3rd birthday party for DD1, and since we don't really know many people in our new area, it's difficult. And it was exactly the same last year since we were in a different country. But I appreciate your comments, they have made me feel better.

Luckily we have two girls close in age!

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