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to have wanted some support off my family today

(7 Posts)
AuntiePickleBottom Thu 13-Oct-11 19:49:21

ds has been offically diagnoised with ASD today, even though i was expecting it iygwim it still has made me feel rather low for some reason.

all i wanted them to say is we will get through it like we always have, or i am here for you iygwim.

however all they mentioned was now i should cliam for DLA and reduce my hours at work ect.

Carrotsandcelery Thu 13-Oct-11 19:57:03

Oh Pickle I know exactly what you mean. Families are funny that way. YANBU but maybe they are also dealing with a mixture of emotions now the diagnosis is final.

My ds suffers from anxiety and depression and, although I knew, I felt really devastated when we got the final diagnosis. He is only 6 sad Instead of comfort from my family I ended up having to comfort them, especially my ddad.

They are great now though. They had clearly thought that it was a fuss about nothing and would all blow over and struggled when they realised it wasn't going away.

Maybe your family are upset, or maybe they just don't know what to say or what it really means.

I would just say that he is exactly the same boy now as he was before the diagnosis. It hasn't changed him in any way and it doesn't change him. All it really changes is the amount of support you can expect to get for him.

Sending you ((((hugs)))) that you should have got from someone in person today.

stayathomegardener Thu 13-Oct-11 19:57:09

Didn't want to read and run,maybe they felt that was the best way they could support you,a bit sad and no it would not be unreasonable to expect more,you most be going through all sorts of emotions

plupervert Thu 13-Oct-11 19:58:18

It sounds as though they were trying to be practical with their suggestions, rather than making empty noises...?

Sorry it came across as uncaring, though.

NorfolkBroad Thu 13-Oct-11 20:03:44

I really feel for you OP. Have just been having this VERY discussion with a lovely friend of mine who had the same news about her DD yesterday. She is really overwhelmed with it all. So sorry your family didn't make you feel supported. Families can be so strange in the way they respond, when I was pregnant in somewhat unusual circumstances (using a donor) my mum and dad were really standoffish. My mum said "I can't help it I am too worried to be of any help" and my dad said "your child is going to be the weirdest child in Gt Britain"!!!!!

However, they were in fact wonderful and I really hope your family also come up trumps. Big hugs to you.

AuntiePickleBottom Thu 13-Oct-11 20:08:22

maybe i am being silly, as they have been fantastic with listening and supporting me.

plupervert Thu 13-Oct-11 20:12:16

Maybe they are also afraid of getting out of their depth, given that diagnosis has now moved into the "professional" zone.

If they've been supportive this far, sooner or later, though, they will start asking you and you can learn together. smile

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