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To think that brides that go on about my day, its all about me and I am a princess abu?

(170 Posts)
lesley33 Thu 13-Oct-11 08:37:42

I understand that all brides want to look beautiful at their wedding and want their wedding to be a special day. But a wedding is about 2 people making a public commitment together. It feels like some brides almost forget the groom in their wish to be a princess for the day. A wedding isn't a walt disney production ffs, it is about both the bride and groom coming together.

AKMD Thu 13-Oct-11 08:39:50

YANBU. It's funny how some people miss the point that a wedding is about a marriage. I used to work with a man who had got into £50000 worth of debt to have his wedding at a big castle, the full shebang, and 3 years later was strugglign to pay the mortgage. Why do people do it? Financial difficulties are killers in a relationship, why start with so much debt hanging over you? Insane.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 13-Oct-11 08:40:23

YANBU, though you might want to reword that last sentence! grin

lesley33 Thu 13-Oct-11 08:42:06

Missed that GrimmaTheNome! Now that would be a wedding to remember and totally unsuitable for DC.

diddl Thu 13-Oct-11 08:43:47


It was all about me & I was a Princess-just for one day.

rubyrubyruby Thu 13-Oct-11 08:45:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll Thu 13-Oct-11 09:03:08

YANBU I just cannot understnd it! These are grown women! They are NOT princesses and it's NOT all about them!

slavetofilofax Thu 13-Oct-11 09:06:57

I don't think there are many brides that are that bad.

Just because a bride wants to look beautiful and make the most of a special once in a lifetime celebration, does not mean she has completely forgotten about her groom and the point of the marriage.

The two things are not mutually exclusive, it is possible to be deeply in love and want to make a commitment, at the same time as getting a bit carried away with wedding plans.

Lylah Thu 13-Oct-11 09:09:41


You see plenty of these types in programmes like gyspy wedding and don't tell the bride etc. It's very annoying. Mind you, it can also be the case to have a groom being like that - the fisherman guy in a recent episode of don't tell was all "it's my wedding, I'll have what I want".

And if I hear one more teary-eyed mum tell her DD that she looks like a princess then I'm definitely going to puke on my remote. [bleugh]

ScaredBear Thu 13-Oct-11 09:09:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZZZenAgain Thu 13-Oct-11 09:15:24

I've never known a bride personally who made a great big fuss about herself and her wedding - in a way that was obvious to me at least.

Fixture Thu 13-Oct-11 09:20:50


AmazingBouncingFerret Thu 13-Oct-11 09:23:27

YANBU. I married at 18 and it never even occurred to me to be all spoilt about it. My parents paid for it so my mum got more of what she wanted!!

loveglove Thu 13-Oct-11 09:23:58

YANBU at all. I'm marrying in 5 weeks and I'm in your camp. My friend is doing it 3 weeks before me and it's going to take two hours to do the hair. The dress and shite cost £2000.

I don't understand. I got my dress from a hospice shop that specialises in bridal stuff, it's beautiful and was a donation to charity at the same time. I just don't get it.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 13-Oct-11 09:32:33

YABU. Wedding days are some people's only chance in life to get five minutes in the sun, so I can understand why they go all out to make it 'their special day' and are carried away with the hype. However, after the one-woman extravaganza they create, I can't help thinking that many of them will go on to find married life a complete anticlimax. Wonder if there's any correlation between 'lavishness of wedding' and 'length of time before divorce'? smile

EllaDee Thu 13-Oct-11 09:34:11

I have known people like that. It's not that unusual. I do think it is creepy, personally, when grown women want to be 'princesses'. And in both the worst cases I have known, these women worked like crazy for months before the wedding, hand-making all sorts of stuff, dieting down, planning things like a military operation, wile their husbands-to-be did nothing. Then at the wedding they sat there while their father, new husband and best made made speeches over them making lots of jokes about the pretty frivolous little things.

I am sorry but it makes me a bit sick inside.

Icelollycraving Thu 13-Oct-11 09:45:48

Yabu. I loved the planning,the day,the dress & making a commitment to my husband. It was a very happy year planning the wedding. I did look like a Disney princess,only more bosomy grin

HengshanRoad Thu 13-Oct-11 09:53:54

Unless you parents are a king and a queen, you ain't a princess.

VenetiaLanyon Thu 13-Oct-11 09:57:20

Suspect that this is really just people on the telly rather than those in real life, OP; do you actually know any of these Disneyfied brides? In real life most people just try to organise a nice party whilst looking as good as they can for their unprecedented and possibly rather daunting moment in the spotlight.

Never very keen on the sneering in these threads that goes on on people spending lots of money on a wedding; ok, 'tis silly if you can't afford it, but otherwise, why not?

Some people take pleasure in spending a lot, as it is the biggest (and sometimes last) party they'll ever throw; likewise, others enjoy doing it, or are obliged to do it, on a budget. Both approaches absolutely valid, IMHO; vive la dfference, as it would be a dull world indeed if everyone had identikit weddings....

SardineQueen Thu 13-Oct-11 10:02:52

I don't know any brides who really felt like that.

I do know plenty of brides who had lots of pressure on them to think and feel a certain way - from parents (especially mothers), friends and others. And so felt that they had to "go for it" to a certain extent to pacify those people.

I know that when I got married it was like that for me - my friends and mum were far more into it than me (I suppose it's a vicarious thing!) and I went along with it to a certain extent as it wasn't any skin off my nose and it seemed to make them happy!

SardineQueen Thu 13-Oct-11 10:04:06

So what I mean is that while the whole think may look rather overblown, it may not all be coming from the bride.

My DH had lots of views too, actually. About table decorations and things. But no-one would guess that was from him rather than me IYSWIM.

SardineQueen Thu 13-Oct-11 10:05:03

Oh and <likes> Venetia's post

rubyrubyruby Thu 13-Oct-11 10:05:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lesley33 Thu 13-Oct-11 10:07:06

Yes I have known a bride like this. I worked with a woman (unfortunately) who was like this. For over a year all she talked about was her wedding, being a princess, her special day, etc - and for about 6 months afterwards as well!

lesley33 Thu 13-Oct-11 10:09:23

sardinequeen - I warch Dont Tell the Bride and lots of the grooms there also have ideas on what they want for their wedding.

I don't think there is anything wrong in spending a lot in a wedding - although I think you are crazy if you get into a lot of debt for it.

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