My twin dds are 17 months and gorgeous. They are happy and healthy and I love them to bits...but I don't feel as happy as I thought I would. I had a traumatic birth - emergency c-section - and one dd went in intensive care so I had no rest in hospital. My DH has been very practical but emotionally s*, something I have only started to address with him in the past month. I went into shock when we got the twins home and the first 6 months were really hard for us both and he just focussed on himself and how he was struggling. He would have a go at me for crying when I couldn't cope and said he couldn't cope with the 3 of us crying...I felt so alone :-( It has got easier and more fun but I'm back at work now and feel really let down there too. I used to love my job but 3 weeks after I gave birth they told me my job no longer existed and I had to take a demotion or redundancy. I took the demotion and managed to keep my terms and conditions the same. I'm working 4 days per week and expected to do the same job with the same level of responsibility as others of my grade but in less time. I have had no adjustment made in my duties at all other than the fact that I don't work on a Friday. I feel completely undervalued and it's making me really angry which comes out at odd times and is starting to affect my work and homelife. Like most WMs I also run the home and do all the cooking and organising of the dds meals and appointments etc. When I do have some time with my DH or to myself I feel so drained I just end up watching TV, I can't remember the last time I went out and had a really good time with my DH. I feel sad alot and only my dds cheer me up. MY in-laws care for the children 3 days per week and are fantastic but I'm always having a go at them to my DH. I'm overweight and comfort eating regularly and never exercise. I just thought things would be easier by now and I would be getting back to my old/new self but I feel so disappointed. Sorry for the long post, no where else to turn. Any advice gratefully received.
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