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To be feeling hurt by friend or am I being oversenitive?

(10 Posts)
butterflyexperience Wed 12-Oct-11 15:52:43

Our husbands are old school friends which is how we met.

Friend had some problems at the begining of her marridge as she had to move town friend is not very independant so relies on her husband to meet others which is easy for friends as her husband is very sociable and has lots of friends.

Anyway, at the begining she was friendly with me as she didnt know many people ect and as time has gone on and she has settled she has kinda dumped me I feel.

I know we all have busy lives friend says she is busy with work quite a bit so far enough however she then goes on to brag about meeting so and so and going out with so and so.

It feels like she has time for others but not me unless she has a problem.

I saw said friend last night with another mutal friend.
Both women are pregnant for the 1st time and I already have 2.
Mutal friend talks to me about her pregnancy and asked some questions about labour/bf/parenting.

Friend in question has asked me none, but goes on to say all the advice she has recived from others.
So I smile and nod
Said friend also has been making silly bitchy remarks to me.
For example said friend told mutal friend that people have told her that bf will make you cry, mutal friend quite concerend so I say
'No it doesnt'

Said friend says
'Well I remember what you were like' Looking at me like I was something dirty under her shoe.

I said
'In the first few days it was hard because I had a csection and was in alot of pain, but after I was fine'

I feel like said friend is being competitive with me over something I just dont know what.

I feel hurt by her but am not sure if I am justified or being over sensitive


worraliberty Wed 12-Oct-11 15:59:48

I think sometimes people make friends with others who are not really their 'type' if they find themselves in that situation ie, both your DH's being friends and her not having many friends to choose from at the time.

As the situation changes, so can the circle of friends sometimes and these two obviously have a lot in common because they're both pregnant for the first time.

It's tough but sometimes you have to accept that there's a difference between real friends and aquantances.

MyRealName Wed 12-Oct-11 16:02:19

YANBU to be a little put out if she is directing bitchy comments towards you. YWBU to devote any more of your time worrying about it. You have your own life, she has hers, you don't have to be friends. Sounds like it's not worth the hassle, move on, no harm done.

butterflyexperience Wed 12-Oct-11 16:04:12

Thanks Worral

I think overall I was her friend, but she has not been mine, and that's hard because I feel like I have invested into this relationship.

I have also tried to speak to her twice about her being distant or rude and she dismissed me on one occasion and was rude on the other.

Your right she is not a friend but an aquantance.
To be honest I dont think she has many friends but has lots of aquantances through her husband. I dont think she hangs out with many people on a one to one basis but does in groups or as couple iyswim?

Also funny as she started to become jelous of my relationship with mutal friend.
All very petty.

blondie80 Wed 12-Oct-11 16:04:55

OP you sound like a nice person, as in you befriended her when she had no one else. She sounds like right piece of work, and thus is probably the reason she had no friends in the first place. I think it would be better to not have her as a friend at all rather than let her treat you like dirt.

butterflyexperience Wed 12-Oct-11 16:05:16

Thanks MRN.
Good advice, no more time spent worrying and to m.o.v.e o.n

Hullygully Wed 12-Oct-11 16:06:26

butterfly - your last sentence is th ekey, she wants to put you down and make you look bad as a way of bonding with this other person.

FannibalLecter Wed 12-Oct-11 16:06:34

I think you've ceased being useful to her; she has made other friends now and doesn't need you - it sounds like she doesn't respect you. Get rid of her!

butterflyexperience Wed 12-Oct-11 16:10:05

Thanks MN's.

Im glad I posted on here. It's given me perspective over the situation.
I've been quite upset all day over this and not knowing how to deal with the situation.

You know what, feck her!

She'll need you before you need her!! Let her run on & make new friends, your life will function perfectly well without her.

Don't waste your time worrying about people who you have no influence over x

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