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To expect an apology

(9 Posts)
holyShmoley Wed 12-Oct-11 13:39:44

on Monday me and 3 DD all played on the small green out the front. A doll was left behind and later on an older group (aged 6-9)played with it. One of the group broke the doll, when I say broke think mutilated eviscerated rather than dismantled, my husband saw him finish her off as he drove past. A little while later the other kids (including a younger siblin of the culprit) came to the door, apologised and offered another toy in lieu. Apology accepted, toy refused and asked them to say it would be OK for the culprit to come apologise too. He hasn't.

Should I jsut leave it, and mark him down as a brat, or speak directly to him? The mother? (who I'm friendly with, but not friends)

Insomnia11 Wed 12-Oct-11 13:43:10

I find it a bit disturbing that someone would damage a doll in such a way. I hate stuff like that. YANBU to expect an apology, but I'd be surprised if it happens now.

MrSpoc Wed 12-Oct-11 13:43:23

this is the problem with most little brats today. everyone is scared of talking to their parents.

TheSkiingGardener Wed 12-Oct-11 13:45:44

I would speak to the parents and say that you really appreciated the apology from the others and the culprits sibling and it would be lovely if the culprit would apologise too.

Worrying if he mutilated it though.

Booooooyhoo Wed 12-Oct-11 13:47:16

why didn't your husband take the doll of him and tell him he shouldn't have done it there and then if he saw him doing it? confused

banana87 Wed 12-Oct-11 13:48:20

Another one who thinks you should have a word with the Mum. She is probably completely unaware. I wouldn't be concerned about the way in which they destroyed the doll, kids copy things they see on TV unfortunately. Doesn't mean they will be adult serial killers.

Thzumbiewitch Wed 12-Oct-11 13:49:59

YANBU to hope for an apology, nor even to have asked for one - but YABU to expect one from someone who will mutilate a doll for fun.

I would consider having a quite word to the parents - as the Skiing gardener says, praise the younger sibling and express mild concern for the level of damage done to someone else's property (rather than horror at the pyschopathicness of it)

And then avoid him as much as possisble.

holyShmoley Wed 12-Oct-11 13:58:16

husband wasn't sure it was our doll, but did stop and say 'is that your's?'. He couldn't hear the reply properly but the face was not one of contrition. Might see if I can co incidentally be playing outside when they get home from school.

aldiwhore Wed 12-Oct-11 14:15:29

OP YANBU to expect an apology and good on the other child who did just that. I would speak to the parents, but expect to get nowhere, if they're nice - bonus!

On the issue of mutilating dolls, whilst this may well be a trait of a pyschopath in waiting its also something that very normal undisturbed children do... they are not real. I say this a 'normal' fully functioning 'good' adult who used to torture her toys as a child. In my defence I was recreating fables/parabels/history (think red riding hood - barbie was the wolf, daniel and the lion pit - my hamster was the lion, and Ivan the terrible - knitting needles and poor old barbie again), but my mother worried.

I wouldn't have done it to anyone else's toy though, BUT a child won't see a dolly chucked on the floor and always think 'who's is it?' they'll think its just a thing on the floor. So I wouldn't read too much into the child's unpleasant handling of said dolly.

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