to stop giving my kids a snack as soon as they come home from school?

[ElderberrySyrup]

...Because they don't eat their tea?

I already feel like a mean mum because some of the others are waiting at the school gate with a snack for their kids so they don't have to walk home with an empty tummy.

I'm just fed up to the back teeth with cooking stuff that they only bother to eat if it's their favourite, and I have 3 kids who like different things so that usually means 2 out of the 3 sitting there whining and a whole load of wasted food.

AIBU to institute a new snackless regime? Or only fruit and veg snacks?

[TheTenantOfWildfellHall]

What snacks do you give them? How long is it between the snacks and tea?

My DD is always starving when she gets in. She has an apple/box of raisins or a cracker and slice of cheese.

What do you do for the children who don't eat their food?

So many questions!

[aldiwhore]

Fruit, veg or yoghurt in this house. I find that if they have any carbs for a snack they won't eat tea, so snacks are just that, a handful of grapes, an apple, a small yoghurt...

My DH is a bit old school in thinking that a sandwich is a snack, to me, a sandwich is a MEAL to me.

Could you make tea later? Or earlier? I've started getting tea ready for about 4.30pm rather than 5.30-6pm for the children on school days, as it removes the need for a snack, though they have their 'pudding' (fruit or yoghurt) later at about 6.30pm. Its quite easy for me to do as I'm a SAHM. If I worked I'd keep the snack and push back tea/dinnertime... (as I'd probably not have a lot of choice).

Also, drinks can stave off hunger for an hour or so, so maybe a glass of milk or cordial instead of actual food?

[HappyJoy]

why not have tea a bit later

[glasscompletelybroken]

my DC's were always starving when they got home and we didn't have tea till about 6pm so they always had a snack. They did also eat their tea as they were pretty good eaters.
My DSC's are not such good eaters - if the youngest has so much as a small plum within an hour of tea it is lkely to mean she won't eat her tea.

It really depends on what time you have tea. I would say if tea is early - say 5pm - then don't give a snack. If tea is later then just give them something very small - couple of carrot sticks or some raisins.

It does sound more like they are just being fussy though as they are eating the things they like.

[redskyatnight]

Depends on your DC I guess. DS in particular is starving after school, and when he is hungry he is grumpy so not feeding him immediately would be a miserable experience. He still eats a huge portion at tea time as well.

If your DC are not particularly hungry and can hold out till tea, then you are not obliged to feed them straight out of school.

[ElderberrySyrup]

Thanks everyone.

They have biscuits, eg 2 malted milk or 2 oatcakes or 4 Carrs water biscuits.

When they're home all day the rule is that they can have a piece of fruit or carrot mid-morning (as at school) then a biscuity snack in the afternoon.

Tea is usually 5.30.

Children who won't eat their tea - if there is anything at all on their plate that they will eat they don't get anything else other than fruit, if it is a whole meal that can't be separated out into bits they will and won't eat (eg lasagne with nothing with it) I soften and let them have a bit of bread and butter or some carrot sticks

I could easily make tea earlier.

A glass of milk is a good idea, they would like that.

[honeylamb]

Either have tea at 4 pm, or let them have a snack at tea at 6 instead?

[Popbiscuit]

at mums waiting at the school gate with snacks. Really? Makes me think of the Finger of Fudge commercial.

[ElderberrySyrup]

Yes Popbiscuit, and I have seen it as a tip on here for surviving starting school as well.
To be fair, there are probably not that many that do it, but a couple of dd's best friends' mums do so I tend to hear about it a lot!

[sparkle12mar08]

My ds has been known to walk out of school with mouth open ready to recieve said snack He's always ravenous when he comes out so gets either fruit or a small scotch pancake or something to keep him going for a couple of hours till tea. It depends totally on the individual. If a snack ruins their appetite and meal then drop it. If it doesn't, then carry on.

[naughtymummy]

Why not bring a snack to the school gates? I do this ,because I find it interfere much less with their appetite for supper than waiting till we get home.It also means we can go straight on to the park. Would this be difficult for lorn you to organise ?

[TheTenantOfWildfellHall]

2 malted milk biscuits doesn't sound like a lot! I was expected to read a chocolate bar and a packet of crisps or something!

I would also suggest taking a snack to the school gates (small and healthy of course!) to keep them going on the way home.

Do they need the snack? If you're just giving it to them because you feel like you ought to then it might be that you are feeding them unnecessarily.

[squeakytoy]

Why not take something to school with you when you pick them up. Even my mum used to do that nearly 40 years ago!

[Hardgoing]

Agree with advice, take snack to school to eat on way home, just something light like oat bisuits or fruit again, then serve tea at a time convenient to you.

I have the opposite problem, mine go to after-school club where they get a tiny snack (one slice of white toast or v small portion of soup). We don't get in til 6.30, then food is nearer 7 , they are starving and I've had to start sending in an extra fruit/rice cake type thing to keep them going til then.

[ElderberrySyrup]

I'm not sure what taking a snack to school for them would achieve in my case, other than giving them something else to distract them on the way home and make them more likely to wander off the pavement or get in somebody else's way (the older ones are 4 and 6 and take a bit of shepherding, plus 2 year old in buggy). I can see that if I had a long walk home or kids coming out of school starving and grumpy it would make sense, but my walk is only 5 mins so it wouldn't make much difference to the overall timings.

Anyway you have reassured me that not giving them a snack after school does not make me the meanest mummy in the world, thanks!

[Hullygully]

I always took snacks to school, stopped the grumpy blood sugar plummets and left enough space until tea.

[Chandon]

mine have a sandwich, a biscuit and some juice after school and THEN have tea at 6:00.

they are skinny, but always starving, so I would feel mean not to feed them at 4:00.

OP, really, just do what you want Just don't be scathing about other kids getting a snack, some kids NEED it.

[mumofthreekids]

Another suggestion - if they want a big snack after school and then a smaller portion of supper, does it really matter (as long as both snack and supper are reasonably healthy)?

[sparklythings]

It depends what you're giving them, and how long it is until tea.
We have tea around 5pm, and when they get in they're usually starving and like a snack (they're 8 and 4.)
Snacks are usually something like couple of oatcakes with cheese on, or a piece of malt loaf, or filling fruit such as a banana.
I also see lots of mums at the school gates with bags of sweets/chocolate bars/crisps ready to dole out when they come out of the doors, but I don't, I must be a mean mummy.
My thinking is they won't expire and drop down in a heap on the school walk just because they haven't got a pack of Haribos to keep them going.

[lovingthecoast]

Gosh, my lot would pass out with hunger if they didn't have a snack after school. They usually have fruit or raisins and some water on the way home. I find a banana and a small box of raisins work better than most other things. But sometimes they have a fruit bar or some rice cakes. They are always once again, starving by tea which is around 5.30.

In the winter, they often have a piece of fruit then some hot choc and a biccie at home afterwards. I'm very surprised that a biscuit or two at 3.15 stops them being hungry at tea time.

[ElderberrySyrup]

Chandon - 'Just don't be scathing about other kids getting a snack, some kids NEED it.'

OK, noted, apologies for scathingness

[ElderberrySyrup]

Lovingthecoast - ' I'm very surprised that a biscuit or two at 3.15 stops them being hungry at tea time.'

Mmmm. I don't really know what it is that is stopping them being hungry at tea but clearly something is and this is all I can think of that I can change.

They have an enormous breakfast of porridge with nuts and raisins, and school dinners which they may or may not eat, but which is traditional school dinner stuff (the kind of thing children had before turkey twizzlers were invented) and pretty hefty servings for a 4yo. My kids are quite little, as well. (And you would of course expect a correlation between them not eating their school dinner, and their eating their tea, but there isn't.)

Maybe it's not about the snack at all, maybe they actually don't need another meal. I give them small portions of quite simple food but maybe just a sandwich would do instead.

[Egg]

I always give DS1 a snack when I collect him from school. Usually a biscuit and a banana. He is always v hungry after school. We eat tea about 5/5:30 latest and he always eats a big meal and often wants more. On days he does sport after school until nearly 5pm he has an extra snack (cereal bar usually) straight after and still eats all his tea when he gets home.

I would say at least 50/60% of parents bring a snack to school in DS1s year. He is year 1.

[bigTillyMint]

My DC have always needed a snack at the end of school - especially DS who had to have one thrust in his hand when I picked him up!

If they are eating well at lunchtime, maybe a sandwich / bowl of soup / boiled egg and soldiers would be enough?

You could try giving them all a turn at choosing tea for that night?

[Hullygully]

Elderberry - it sounds to me like they don't want that much in the eve. Give them something after school, and then something else later if they get hungry. I know lots of kids who don't eat much after school.