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To be sad that Dh didn't get me anything for my birthday?

(77 Posts)
iMemoo Tue 11-Oct-11 21:42:02

It's my birthday tomorrow. It's been a bit of a rough year and I was looking forward to feeling a bit special for a day.

Dh has just said that he needs to go into work extra early in the morning before me and the dc get up. I said maybe he could give me his card and present tonight and he replied that he thought I wouldn't be bothered this year and so he hasn't got me anything! Not even a cheap bunch of flowers sad

He then went out to get petrol and came back with a card he'd bought at the petrol station! It's got a rude joke on the front. << fed up >>

KarlaFromMoscowCentre Tue 11-Oct-11 21:44:18

He thought you wouldn't be bothered? That's just completely absolutely shit of him - I'm sorry.

AprilAl Tue 11-Oct-11 21:47:50

I'm hoping he's just covering up the super special surprise you're getting when he gets home tomorrow...

mummakaz Tue 11-Oct-11 21:48:39

what karla said that is really shit. I would be pissed off/upset too

hellhasnofury Tue 11-Oct-11 21:50:24

Sounds just like my birthday this year. If it hadn't been for the kids I'd have got nothing. DH, my in-laws and my parents didn't bother. It kinda sucks doesn't it. I hope DH comes good tomorrow.

flamegirl77 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:51:35

Happy birthday. Get yourself something lovely, ideally with money in your joint account!

NorfolkBroad Tue 11-Oct-11 21:51:45

Feel bad for you!! I really hope he makes a fuss of you tomorrow or that you receive lots of other lovely treats from family/friends.

flamegirl77 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:52:58

Happy birthday. Get yourself something lovely, ideally with money in your joint account!

AhsataN Tue 11-Oct-11 21:54:56

awww that really is bollocks im sorry your oh is a twat. of course you would be bothered how would he feel if you did the same to him?
i really hope he makes it up tomorrow.

dwpanxt Tue 11-Oct-11 21:55:04

Oh that sucks . sad

In my experience men try this once in every relationship and subsequent celebrations follow depending on the reaction.

If you are bothered about being treated specially well on one given day in the year you need to make him understand how you feel.

It calls for wild ranting and raving -tears ,screams if thats your style and definitely cold rage.
Leave him in doubt that your birthday is non negotiable -it is celebrated in the highest style your family can afford.No argument , that's just how it is.

Or just leave it and sulk quietly. Your birthday, your choice <shamelessly borrows a MN phrase> wink

pigletmania Tue 11-Oct-11 21:55:43

Oh god memoo that is shit sad. I would tell him outright that no, you would like to go out for a meal or do something nice for your birthday. A cheap petrol station card will not cut it. My dh did that one year, and ever since a few weeks before my birthday i have to remind him and hit quite a lot. You see he is not fussed about birthdays not even his own so thinks everyone else thinks like him, errrr no. I still like to be thought about by dh.

pigletmania Tue 11-Oct-11 21:56:20

meant hint grin.

dwpanxt Tue 11-Oct-11 21:56:42


no doubt <gnashes teeth>

FabbyChic Tue 11-Oct-11 21:57:01

Hey real sorry you have an insensitive ass for a husband, have some best wishes for tomorrow. Treat yourself.

rhondajean Tue 11-Oct-11 21:57:39

Dh and I are both only children and tend to spoil each other rotten at Christmas/birthdays - which may colour my view slightly - but that would be a deal breaker for me!

I do hope its all a cover for tomorrow xx

teenagedirtbag Tue 11-Oct-11 22:00:05

Well wait until tomorrow to make sure he hasn't got you a special surprise. If you still get nothing tomorrow, burst into tears. then he will know he should bother next time at least.

CumbrianCooBeastie Tue 11-Oct-11 22:02:51

I agree with DWPANXT about the trying it on. Last year - for my birthday - I got to choose a rubbish bin for the kitchen, drive DP and myself to the shop to get it, and pay for it myself. I felt special, I can tell you.

Fuss duly kicked up, not even a whiff of a problem since.

gethelp Tue 11-Oct-11 22:03:34

My husband and I see birthdays completely differently, I know he thinks they are unimportant, but every year I feel devastated. Birthdays are about celebration and love, not about money or things. We all deserve a special day when somebody tells you that the world is a better place because you are in it. Happy Birthday to You for tomorrow, celebrate your own amazing day for yourself. I wish I could give you a solution but I can't, sorry.

unavailable Tue 11-Oct-11 22:05:33

Its not tomorrow yet.

He may be planning something.

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 11-Oct-11 22:05:36

my DH is the king of the 'no gifter'.
which is why I buy myself a gift each birthday.
if your DH is anything like mine, hints will go in one ear and out the other and you will wind up with fekk all on your birthday.

pigletmania Tue 11-Oct-11 22:06:10

Happy birthday memoo have a lovely day tomorrow smile

ENormaSnob Tue 11-Oct-11 22:07:04


did you make a fuss on his birthday?

blackeyedsusan Tue 11-Oct-11 22:09:50

happy birthday for tomorrow.

a great way to make you feel unloved and taken for granted. you need to make it plain to him that this is not on. birthdays are special and are to be celebrated. personally, I would noit feel like doing anything loving for him for awhile.

iMemoo Tue 11-Oct-11 22:09:58

I am kicking up a fuss, I've even stomped of to bed early!! He just doesn't get it though and it's not even about spending lots of money it's about the thought and the gesture.

My mum bought me a present. A pair of waterproof pants! (sob)

whomovedmychocolate Tue 11-Oct-11 22:10:57

Oh dear memoo.

Well happy birthday for tomorrow anyway.

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