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To not want to have to sneeze during sex?

(34 Posts)
SneezyWheezy Tue 11-Oct-11 13:10:40

Regular poster with name change.

A few weeks ago in the middle of sex I had a sneezing fit. My dp was on top of me at the time and he loved it, in fact he said it was the best sex he's had and he jokingly said I ought to sneeze during sex more often. I suppose it tightened my vagina or whatever.

Anyway I thought no more of it but then he bought me a huge bunch of flowers for no reason (I have hayfever) which I put out of the way in the kitchen. However that same night I found them on my bedside table. When I asked him about it, he said he wanted me to be able to see them when I woke up.

I've also discovered that my hayfever tablets are missing, which isn't that uncommon as I often misplace them, but they've been missing for a week now and with the high winds, I am suffering quite badly with the last of the season's pollen.

The last straw came just last night. We were getting it on and suddenly this dust flew in my face. It got right up my nose and I sneezed - much to dp's delight. I was disgusted but he said it must have been a bit of ceiling plaster. However I tasted it and it was most definitely pepper, he must have thrown it in my face when we were having sex.

Am I right to be annoyed about this?

Booooooyhoo Tue 11-Oct-11 13:12:14

he threw pepper in your face? is this genuine?

Schnarkle Tue 11-Oct-11 13:13:46

Try the sneezing trick on him while you're going down on him, a nice teeth clencher. See how he like the sneezing trick then.

peedieworky Tue 11-Oct-11 13:15:15

What the?? Really?? I am, for once, speechless..

Wind up, surely?

If not, can I be the first to say, leave the bastard grin

minimisschief Tue 11-Oct-11 13:16:29

lmao this cannot be real? who does that?

But yes the feeling is a good one but if he is actively trying to make you sneeze by throwing pepper in your face i suggest a bit of negative reinforcement theropy

if he makes you sneeze squirt pepper spray in his eyes and after a while he will learn that making you sneeze during sex akes his eyes burn and it isn't worth it.

FrillyMilly Tue 11-Oct-11 13:16:43

This can't be for real surely?

poorbuthappy Tue 11-Oct-11 13:16:49

Christ if I sneeze during I'd blow him off me!!

grin May I suggest a really good coughing fit? If your pelvic floor is in good nick, you'll fire him through a wall.

AbbyAbsinthe Tue 11-Oct-11 13:17:14

Hahaha!! Sorry, I don't believe a word of it! grin

Booooooyhoo Tue 11-Oct-11 13:18:10

you should tell him that you like the way his arse clenches around your dildo when you shove it up there and see how he feels then about forcing you to sneeze.

i would be furious about this. he has hidden your meds and threw pepper in your face. absoloute tool!!!

CauldronsTrulyReign Tue 11-Oct-11 13:19:41

You tasted the "ceiling plaster"?

shock

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 11-Oct-11 13:20:04

Very common. He's a Septumaniac...

SneezyWheezy Tue 11-Oct-11 13:27:30

Well the embarrassing thing is that I do have a bit of a problem with my bladder when I sneeze so I do tend to clench myself, but sometimes I do dribble blush and he has mistaken this for me being excited.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 11-Oct-11 13:29:53

You know it was almost credible up to that part. Anyone mistaking an acidental leak of piss for a woman 'being excited' has got problems. Nice try.

Booooooyhoo Tue 11-Oct-11 13:30:20

ok so wind up then.

DaydreamDolly Tue 11-Oct-11 13:30:57

This is brilliant, given me a real belly laugh! Well done OP, 10/10!

SneezyWheezy Tue 11-Oct-11 13:35:20

Well yes he does obviously have problems if he thinks forcing me to sneeze is some kind of foreplay.

KittyFane Tue 11-Oct-11 15:15:57

Yep, the coughing fit sounds about right grin grin grin !

KittyFane Tue 11-Oct-11 15:16:52

Try it OP, instead of sneezing.! grin

Pendeen Tue 11-Oct-11 15:56:41

"... He's a Septumaniac ..."

Very good! smile

Andrewofgg Tue 11-Oct-11 15:58:57

How do you feel about having sex while sneezing?

ShatnersBassoon Tue 11-Oct-11 15:59:26

Get yourself a can of mace to spray in his face next time you have sex. It will be right up his street.

valiumredhead Tue 11-Oct-11 16:01:23

Surely you don't clench when you sneeze, you let go don't you.. I am sitting her trying to do fake sneezes..

Oooooohhhhhh, someones pants are on fire.

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