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to think perhaps working mothers should have priority when it comes to nursery places??

(198 Posts)
SJaneS Tue 11-Oct-11 11:49:52

My OH has a new job starting the end of next month - its a big role and more money (good news!) but a long commute which means during the working week we won't see much of him. Currently he does the drop off and pick up from our childminder three days a week and our 3 year old daughter is in the local nursery the other two days.

I don't drive and will have to do the childminder drop off and pick up which will involve a two hour journey for three days a week (its in the next village and we have an infrequent bus and train service). We live in a village where everyone is relatively well off and the majority of the other local mothers I know have been able financially to choose to stay at home. I completely respect that and if we were in a different position then I'd prefer to be bringing up our daughter. As it is I work a five day week.

We have one nursery and one childminder in the village. Nursery places are allocated on a first come first served basis so completely democratically. The only other local working mother I know has an equally complicated juggle to source and get to good childcare. There are no spare days at the local nursery and many of the children there come from homes where the mother isn't out to work.

I fully believe that each child has the right to good nursery provision. I know that looking after a child/children full time is bl$$dy hard work and women need and deserve a respite. On the other hand in the current situation part of me does feel that working mothers should be given some form of priority when it comes to nursery places. Is that very wrong??!

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood Tue 11-Oct-11 11:50:47

Yes I'm afraid YABU! It's a business and their policy is first come first served

cookcleanerchaufferetc Tue 11-Oct-11 11:51:29

Can you not learn to drive?

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll Tue 11-Oct-11 11:52:16

Yes it's wrong. Couldn't you organise it in advance?

worraliberty Tue 11-Oct-11 11:52:29


Nursery isn't all about babysitting, it's also about socialisation etc

And what happens if you give up your job or get made redundant?

mercibucket Tue 11-Oct-11 11:53:11

yes, yabu

coccyx Tue 11-Oct-11 11:53:12

Learn to drive

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll Tue 11-Oct-11 11:54:20

Nursery is not just a convenience for working's for the DC to help them develop and learn. So why should a child get precedence over another just because there parents both work?

ArtVandelay Tue 11-Oct-11 11:54:23

I hear what you are saying but you don't know what goes on in the houses of the assumed SAHMs. There could be a long term illness, Mum could have her own business that you don't know about, she may be caring for an elderly relative. Loads of reasons, many of which you might want to keep private. Its not just a case of WM busy out of house - SAHM stays at home. YABU.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll Tue 11-Oct-11 11:54:43

Their...not THERE. Doh!

toosoontoosoon Tue 11-Oct-11 11:55:11

I think you're right; I didn't go out to work, and my children didn't go to nursery. We did preschool for about a year I think, which was only half days a few times a week.

I fully respect the right of working parents to have access to really good childcare because I hate the idea of the shite nurseries you see and hear about (I have been to one, yikes it was awful)

I'd willingly let someone who had a job to go to take my child's place. Though once the child is settled it would be unkind to renege on their place - that would be my one problem with it, say the parent left work or lost their job.

ArtVandelay Tue 11-Oct-11 11:55:25

Yes and for DC development!

tryingtoleave Tue 11-Oct-11 11:56:29

Well, theoretically, that is how it works here in Australia. Parents who are working or studying get priority. But they are not going to kick out a SAHM's kids to make room for yours.

toosoontoosoon Tue 11-Oct-11 11:56:51

Good point about some SAHMs needing the nursery provision equally badly.

I was fortunate not to.
It would get complicated wouldn't it. But I've never thought I needed them to go somewhere else while I was at home and could fit them into my life.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman Tue 11-Oct-11 11:57:52

Priority? Oh of course all sahm sit on their arses watching Jeremy kyle while spending their husbands hard earned wages online, silly me.

Perhaps they are busy to and need the place as much as you do?

Bugsy2 Tue 11-Oct-11 11:58:17

It seems like a good idea, but how would you do it? Would full-time working single mums be at the top? What if your OH wasn't working, would the working mum still have priority over SAHMs? What if you were part-time but had awkward shifts - would that raise your priority level. If all the places were taken by working mums, would you then prioritise by job worthiness? How about if you were a nurse or doctor - would that make your job more worthy than if you were a banker? What about disabled or long-term sick mums?
It would be a nightmare!

SJaneS Tue 11-Oct-11 11:59:32

There aren't any other options mumbling to consider - we've explored them very very thoroughly! And cookcleanerchauffeur I have indeed tried to learn to drive - three times in fact involving a lot of time and money and ultimately unsucessfully.

Finally - if I give up my job (we can't afford that) or I get made redundant then we will be in serious financial difficulty.

Peachy Tue 11-Oct-11 11:59:35

I worked for a charity where at times when famillies were strugging (think terminal illness, disabilitym, bereavemeant etc) we placed children in nurseries as a support, we had to deal with waiting lists same as anyone.

Mor recently my own son's SN assessment was delayed until he had spent time in a nursery aplcement as it is considered developmentally advatageous.

Here in my city (have moved) every school has a preschool as part of it that offer 2.5 hours free per weekday during last year before FT eduation; therefore nurseries as such are used mainly by working aprents. Probablt works better.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll Tue 11-Oct-11 12:00:27

To me, it's more for the child if you are a SAHM.....I mean, I wouldnt bother sending mine if I didnt think it was imortant preparation for her reception year at school ext year. I would be LIVID if I were told that I was at he back of the queue because I am at home!

CristinadellaPizza Tue 11-Oct-11 12:00:43

I can see what you mean but it would be impossible. Can you cycle to the CM if you can't drive?

Peachy Tue 11-Oct-11 12:00:49

Plus the local universities make their cash not from WOHM but the student aprents at the lcoal university where would they sit in terms of entitlement?

SJaneS Tue 11-Oct-11 12:01:34

And a fuckingknackeredwoman - did you actually read the content of my post?? I don't think so!!

mercibucket Tue 11-Oct-11 12:03:14

oh this is so annoying I have to come back to it!

it's a business, you pay to buy someone's services, in this case 'childcare'. like any other business, it's not rationed according to whether you work or not

if you mean the free govt places, they're not a babysitting service!! it's free because the govt thinks children develop better if from 3+ they go to nursery part time, not cos they want to make life easier for working parents (cos 3 hours a day is not hugely helpful for most job patterns is it?)

ColdToast Tue 11-Oct-11 12:03:14

The needs of the child should be the priority, not the employment status of their parents.

Why should a child lose their nursery place just because you can't or won't drive?

AFuckingKnackeredWoman Tue 11-Oct-11 12:03:22

I did read it. just because they can afford not to work doesn't mean they are doing nothing all day.

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