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AIBU to think that something is wrong?

(27 Posts)
worriedorprecious Tue 11-Oct-11 10:54:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy Tue 11-Oct-11 10:58:23

I would certainly be going to see a GP, and am surprised you even have to ask. confused

It is normal for the youngest in the family to be "babyfied" by everyone, but her behaviour is not what I would consider average for her age.

GypsyMoth Tue 11-Oct-11 11:00:31

My friends dd was similar. School did a CAF report with her, not sure how far its gone since we last spoke

GypsyMoth Tue 11-Oct-11 11:00:57

Also, what are school saying?

lovingthecoast Tue 11-Oct-11 11:02:51

Hi! I've no real advice but just wanted to answer your post. Personally, I think you should get her reassessed. It does sound as if she exhibits some autistic traits but only a paed or a clinical phychologist can diagnose that. However, the spectrum is so huge and the children on it vary so much that just because her speech is now fine it doesn't mean she doesn't have communication difficulties.

I would say that from your post, it does sound as if she have some form of sensory difficulties. These can go hand in hand with ASD but children who do not have an ASD can still have sensory issues.

If school are not being helpful in terms of a reassessment then you need to see your GP. If you list the difficulties you have here and say that when she was younger the SALT was convinced she did have an ASD then you should have no problem getting a referral althought they can take a while. If you can afford it, you can also seek out a private assessment but if you go done this route make sure you stay on the NHS waiting list too.
Good luck

worriedorprecious Tue 11-Oct-11 11:06:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy Tue 11-Oct-11 11:08:11

Sorry, I was a bit harsh, but read your post back and so many things stand out that are not average behaviour from a 9 year old.

It does sound like the school are not being very supportive too though.

mousyfledermaus Tue 11-Oct-11 11:09:20

make an appointment with the gp and give him a printout of what you have written in your post.
insist on him/her reading it and don't leave until you have a referral.

cestlavielife Tue 11-Oct-11 11:11:12

is it a private school?
or do they all do "ink licences" ? mind boggles...

anyway - you can ask GP to refer her for an assessment
you can call LEA educational psychologuy and ask for an assessment - but you really need school alongside - if LEa school then get them to do this .

or you could cut corners and get a private assessment done with an educational psychologist - there are lots of standardised assessments they can do which will tell you her strengths and weaknesses, look at dyslexia and other stuff, as well as those like vineland which look at behaviours.

PosiePetrifyingParker Tue 11-Oct-11 11:11:38

Try physical, emotional, learning and mental health issues....

A little girl who slipped like this, sort of, had a tumour....

So no stone left unturned.

cestlavielife Tue 11-Oct-11 11:12:40

i suggest you also buy and read the out of synch child
www.amazon.co.uk/Sync-Child-Carol-Stock-Kranowitz/dp/0399523863

cestlavielife Tue 11-Oct-11 11:13:39

newer edition
www.amazon.co.uk/Sync-Child-Carol-Stock-Kranowitz/dp/0399531653/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

goes into all the sensory issues you descibe and suggests strategies

lovingthecoast Tue 11-Oct-11 11:14:15

They cannot blame you. Your DD clearly have some issues going on, none of which are your fault. If she's desperately anxious and phobic then of course learning will take a back seat.

I know a child who have quite severe sensory issues and he is not considered to have an ASD despite showing various traits. The paed has been great with both him and his mum and cites his very difficult, traumatic birth as possibly contributing. He is also dyspraxic so pencil grip/writing and gross motor skills are also 'dodgy'. He has to have all labels cut out and will only wear terry towelling socks not standard ones. He is also terrified of dogs and birds and will not enter a public toliet due to the presence of hand driers. They have been giving both strategies to help him emotionally and excercises to help him physically. He is 6yrs.

I really think you need to go to your GP and get referred. Your DD is almost 9yrs and needs professional support now before her anxieties take over.

Redbluegreen Tue 11-Oct-11 11:15:21

Just because she has not been diagnosed autistic doesn't mean she has no other special needs. The school sound very unhelpful. Talk to your gp and insist on a referral. I would also be considering other schools, but it might be best to wait until you have gone further down the medical line before deciding what would be best for her.

LadyThumb Tue 11-Oct-11 11:17:18

Please, please get the optician/hospital to do an Irlen Test on her eyes.

www.irlen.org.uk/

My son was exactly as you describe your daughter over the reading/writing - and then we found out he couldn't see what the rest of us saw. The coloured glasses he was given made a total difference to EVERYTHING.

PrideOfChanur Tue 11-Oct-11 11:17:26

Yes,I would talk to your GP.
Some of this sound similiar to DD who has dyspraxia.She has always seemed younger than her peers,DH reckons she is 2 years younger in real terms.As the eldest I don't think I would have noticed her playing with baby toys as she played with DS,your Dd will stand out more through being the youngest.
But I am old and I don't consider being into music,boys and phones is "normal" 9 year old behavior either...

The negative effect of being teased and being in trouble is making her very upset and me very anxious
I think this stands out for me in your post.My DCs are older now and things are much easier,but I remember how it felt before.Whatever is going on with your DD you both need some strategies for helping her cope with the things she has to do so you can both be a bit happier.If she is upset and you are anxious it makes it so much harder for her to behave differently and for you to find ways to help her.
I do hope you can get some real help and advice from your GP.

worriedorprecious Tue 11-Oct-11 11:33:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mousyfledermaus Tue 11-Oct-11 11:38:47

do you still have the notes from the therapist? take them as well.
hope you don't have to fight!

PissesGlitter Tue 11-Oct-11 11:47:27

i would be making a gp appointment and changing school if possible
the one she is at sounds dreadful!

PrideOfChanur Tue 11-Oct-11 11:48:27

The school sound as if they are being less than helpful.
I read (while I was trying to help DS) a child psychologist who said that if children can learn and behave they will,so if they are having problems you have to find out why.

I have typed a few thing here and deleted them,because I am feeling quite angry on your and your DD's behalf.
How does this: "very quiet and timid and shy and under confident" fit with the explanation of her being naughty,silly and attention seeking?
FGS.
I hope you don't have to fight as well.

Dawndonna Tue 11-Oct-11 11:53:14

You really do need to see a gp. As has already been said, change schools too, it sounds horrific there.
You do not have to see the same (bloody rude, from the sounds of it) consultant, you can specifically request a particular consultant if you have any recommendations from local people, or ask not to be re-referred to the same person.
Good luck.

worriedorprecious Tue 11-Oct-11 11:58:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva Tue 11-Oct-11 12:00:33

I don't have experience of this and others have given good advice. The one thing you do have 'control' over is how her older siblings treat her. Can you have a chat to them about the way they treat her (I know they don't treat her badly but they do baby her which probably doesn't help).

Good luck.

worriedorprecious Tue 11-Oct-11 12:26:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thinNigella Tue 11-Oct-11 12:34:47

You could also get her assessed by the early years forum in your area. This is a group of adults who are there to help and support your DD. You will need a referral frm the schools SENCo in order to get this .

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