I've namechanged as my usual nickname is quite recognizable IRL.
I've been friends with this woman since we were kids. She can be a right cow, but she can also really come through for a friend and can be great. I really am in two minds.
Basically, I'm having trouble forgiving her for trying to stuff up my wedding. She was (I found out much later) very offended that I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid (it was a very small wedding).
She knows, from my confiding in her in the past, that my sister (who was a bridesmaid) has a tendency to have a bit too much to drink on family occasions and have a meltdown, usually ruining the whole evening.
Turns out she also knows, again from things I've confided to her in private, exactly how to push my sister's buttons. She singled my sister out for conversation and insisted on talking about very personal stuff that upset my sister a lot. She doesn't even know DS that well...
My sister, predictably enough, had to leave early in floods of tears. As this isn't out of character, I didn't find out what happened until much later. I flagged up to my friend in an email that I knew what had happened and was unimpressed. She didn't reply and we were out of touch for months.
After a while, once I'd worked out what her problem was, I sent her a note and a present, apologizing for not realizing how much it would hurt her not to be my bridesmaid. No apology in return, but I figured that she has been such a good friend in the past, I'd let it slide. She did support me through my previous divorce and the death of my mother.
However, as time goes by, I'm still pissed off. It doesn't help that she's going through some stress at work at the moment - I don't mind listening to her problems, but I do get annoyed when she tries to make herself feel better by putting me down. I have PND myself at the mo (which could be clouding my judgement), but she wouldn't know that as I can't get a word in edgeways over her litany of complaints.
Last time I popped in to see her, she picked up my baby daughter and said - I quote - "oh, you poor thing! You look just like your Daddy and that's not a good look on a girl." It was so mean it was funny really but, on the other hand, I don't really want to spend that much time with someone who wants to make me feel bad.
So, should I quietly let the friendship drop? On the one hand, she's been really supportive at the worst times in my life (as I have of her, I hope). On the other, she does love to embarass me in public, recounting things I wish I hadn't done, or have told her in confidence, in front of all her friends, and I'm really having a hard time getting past the wedding thing.
AIBU?
AIBU?
To consider quietly dropping an old friend?
LeNomCaChange · 10/10/2011 22:24
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