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AIBU for public loos to have in addition to signs saying engaged and vacant..

(19 Posts)
warmandwooly Mon 10-Oct-11 16:52:13

To have one that says..leave for a little while s its a bit whiffy?

CauldronsTrulyReign Mon 10-Oct-11 16:53:00


TalcAndTurnips Mon 10-Oct-11 17:14:20

Yes - it would be very helpful to have an automatic LED system that could flag up a number of issues such as:

- This one's out of bogroll and/or has less than three sheets adhering to the cardboard inner

- Skidmark alert

- Unknown object (possibly of human origin) floating in pan

- Sanitary/mooncup disaster area inc. illegal packaging flush failure

- Blocked, with approximately two and a half rolls of piss-soaked wadded up paper

- Giant high-fibre turd stuck in u-bend. Avoid at all costs

- Pebble-dashing/projectile vomiting residue

- What the fuck is that?

- Just don't. Walk away. Your eyeballs and olfactory system will thank you and you won't have to suffer flashbacks during lunch

It would also give cleaning staff an at-a-glance guide to what needs sorting, and if any protective clothing might be needed. A very good addition to one's enjoyment of public conveniences, I think.

warmandwooly Mon 10-Oct-11 18:29:59

TalkandTurnips- i like your suggestions! I always seem to go in the rather pongy ones when I am bursting for the loo!

Mardymwahhaha Mon 10-Oct-11 18:31:28

Not to mention, some bastard's pissed on the loo seat again!

MissPenteuth Mon 10-Oct-11 18:33:39

Can we have one that says "it wasn't me, it already smelled like that when I went in"?

Byeckerslike Mon 10-Oct-11 18:35:17

Miss, definitely that one!

SuePurblybilt Mon 10-Oct-11 18:36:15

And a 'why would you wipe it on the wall?'

TalcAndTurnips Mon 10-Oct-11 18:54:11

- No, apparently you can't flush a disposible nappy after all

- Warning: Small Floating Pebble-Style Turds that refuse to flush - next occupant may hold you responsible

- Possiblity of webcam installation; keep face covered at all times to avoid ending up on Crimewatch/Youtube

- Evidence of recent sexual gymnastics - please use next cubicle

LadyClariceCannockMonty Tue 11-Oct-11 12:25:13

Definitely want warmandwooly and MissPenteuth's suggestions! grin

PissesGlitter Tue 11-Oct-11 12:28:50

omg i have not laughed so hard in a long time
thank you

warmandwooly Tue 11-Oct-11 17:21:59

Also a sign that says..i might lock properly i might not..beware..

TalcAndTurnips Tue 11-Oct-11 17:36:58

Good one, warmandwooly - have we not all perfected that gentle push with one finger; bracing ourselves for the embarrassed back-slamming of the unlockable door?

I'd also like to be warned about:

- Do not attempt to enter; feet braced on back of door for improved security and increased leverage for chronic constipation

- No toilet brush within. Lay a pan-blocker and you're on your own

- The Management will accept no responsibility for the safety/sexual satisfaction of any convenience user who decides to respond to a mobile telephone number advertising hand relief or any other service of a carnal nature

Jacksmania Fri 14-Oct-11 00:26:07

I so needed warning like this on Tuesday. Was sat waiting at Dr's and needed to a nervous wee and stepped into an almost solid wall of heave-inducing stench in cubicle.


cambridgeferret Fri 14-Oct-11 20:06:58

How about one of these as mandatory in every toilet?

needanewname Fri 14-Oct-11 20:11:03

How about 'think Glastonbury.....'

stubbornstains Fri 14-Oct-11 20:25:00

What about "You will find using the bushes behind this building infinitely preferable to using this cubicle"?

LostInTheWoods Fri 14-Oct-11 20:26:40

Another poo thread...

cambridgeferret Fri 14-Oct-11 20:29:40

wasn't there a sketch on Not the nine o clock news where there were messages flashed up as the bloke took a crap in the airplane toilet?

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