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To feel my daughter should be able to pray at school

(53 Posts)
Telcontar Mon 10-Oct-11 16:18:56

My daughter aged 14 is Christian like me, though we are both reasonably liberal. She/a sibling has always prayed aloud before meals at home, and does so silently at school too. Recently we received a complait from her tutor though, saying she was not allowed to pray in the hall. I called a couple of my daughter's friends and they say they have no problem with it and that she never says anything, she is just quiet with her eyes shut for a minute. The tutor complained after she sat with my daughter and friends for lunch. Is it unreasonable to think this is unfair/discrimination? Should she have to stop?

HornySwoggle Mon 10-Oct-11 16:20:57

I don't see why it would bother anyone! the tutor is being ridiculous.

gordyslovesheep Mon 10-Oct-11 16:22:10

Her tutor says she is 'not allowed' to pray - well challenge that - ask the head for a copy of the policy that back that up for starters

Rivenwithoutabingle Mon 10-Oct-11 16:22:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeggyCarter Mon 10-Oct-11 16:23:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lightroom Mon 10-Oct-11 16:23:46

The tutor might be irritated but has got absolutely no grounds to tell her not to pray IMO. Did you get a written complaint?

worraliberty Mon 10-Oct-11 16:23:51

Are you sure there's not more to this story?

I mean if that was the case she could have simply been wondering what's for dessert with her eyes closed.

Would the Tutor have a problem with that too?

Sounds very odd.

AMumInScotland Mon 10-Oct-11 16:24:09

I'd request a copy of the school rule that forbids it, I doubt there will be one! Unusual having tutors in the same dining room as the pupils though - is this a standard state school or something else?

gordyslovesheep Mon 10-Oct-11 16:25:02

how did you 'recieve this complaint' ? in writting? Phone call did your daughter tell you?

Telcontar Mon 10-Oct-11 16:27:00

State school, and most of the teachers will buy lunch in the hall and sit where there is space. Very few go to their teamrooms.

The tutor sent us a brief letter about no religious expression in school and that she had to stop.

reallytired Mon 10-Oct-11 16:27:10

I would make a formal complaint about the tutor to the school. The school should respect diversity. Its not as if your dd is forcing her religion on others.

Does the school stop muslim children from praying?

malinois Mon 10-Oct-11 16:29:48

Telcontar - what country are you in? I find it hard to believe that this would happen in a UK school (but could certainly believe it in a French or US school)

gordyslovesheep Mon 10-Oct-11 16:32:07

yeh I am also guessing this isn;t UK

nailak Mon 10-Oct-11 16:33:02

that is outrageous tbh, shes 14 surely its her choice if she prays before eating? as long as she is not imposing her views cant see an issue.

Telcontar Mon 10-Oct-11 16:35:57

In the USA, we moved here quite recently from England. Culture shock!

I'll ask my daughter when she gets home if there are Muslim/Jewish/other students and what they are allowed to do.

alemci Mon 10-Oct-11 16:36:21

I think this really isn't on. She is praying in her head. I think he is wrong and should be challenged.

Afterall special prayer rooms have been provided in most schools for Islamic students to be able to pray.

AMumInScotland Mon 10-Oct-11 16:36:31

If there's "no religious expression in school" then it can't be UK. I think you have to ask your daughter to go along with the school's policy on this, if it's a standard policy.

If it is "visible" that your daughter is praying, and that's against school policy, then she could perhaps pray with her eyes open? Or in the queue before getting her food?

Pakdooik Mon 10-Oct-11 16:36:54

The tutor is an arse!

IggyPup Mon 10-Oct-11 16:36:58

I am a practising Christian and am astonished at all this anti religious feeling about. I tolerate differing religions and philosophies (well the " do no harm" ones) and can't understand why some are so aggressive in their stance against anything other than their atheism. I have been ridiculed and verbally attacked for my beliefs, by people who really are venomous in their opinions. I don't preach or force my opinions on anyone. I am happy to attend events in other churches or civil celebrations or if invited in Temples/Mosques/Synagogues. I really respect people of faith as much as people of principal who have no faith.

So why do some get all hot and bothered by a young girl saying a prayer quietly?

I just don't get it, I go with gordylovessheep. Challenge the school.

gordyslovesheep Mon 10-Oct-11 16:37:53

Blime from AIBU to 'all muslims get special treatment' in less than a page grin is this a record

anyway OP - take it up with the school smile

malinois Mon 10-Oct-11 16:39:10

Telecontar - it's the USA. There is absolutely strict separation of church and state. Surely you knew this before you emigrated? If you want your daughter to be able to pray in school, you need to send her to a parochial (faith) school. It's not going to happen in a public school.

CaptainNancy Mon 10-Oct-11 16:41:28

I think in the states that is right- schools are secular.

malinois Mon 10-Oct-11 16:43:01

Oh, and YABU to expect your daughter to be able to pray in a public area of a US public school.

madhairday Mon 10-Oct-11 16:45:01

How bizarre. I would go with talking to your dd about the fact that prayer doesn't have to be an obvious stance, ie sitting with head bowed and eyes closed. She can pray while queueing, while sitting, even while talking, without saying words as such. Prayer is an attitude of mind and heart and can be a continuous conversation. Perhaps this would be the most sensible way about it.

lightroom Mon 10-Oct-11 16:47:05

If this were in the UK I'd be advising you to write to the school. But it's a completely different story in the US. We were in the US for a year and the church/state separation in school was rigorously enforced. She can keep praying though - with her eyes open, whenever she wants, because no one can police what she does in her head.

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