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I admit it, I judged (big time) AIBU?

(134 Posts)
luciadilammermoor Sun 09-Oct-11 14:07:05

Walking through a shopping centre at lunchtime (endless search for shoes to fit DD1), we heard a loud and paniced screaming coming from somewhere. It crescendo'ed as we passed the hairdressers where 4 adults were pinning a little girl of c.2years old against a woman (her mother?) to enable one of them to pierce her ears.

I admit it, I stopped short, held by the sheer panic and fear that this child was shouting out for us all to hear. I judged, I hoisted big judgy knickers up to about my forehead (in my head): just how the hell could someone do that to their child and why the hell didn't the person do it ask whether this really was a good idea/would they like to rethink?

As I say, I judged. I feel guilty now because everything in my body was telling me to go and say 'really? this is so important? why exactly?' and yet I knew I should not get involved. Not my child etc.

But wtf?

faverolles Sun 09-Oct-11 14:08:58

I would have judged too shock
Poor little girl sad

worraliberty Sun 09-Oct-11 14:09:23

Heartless gits sad

But if you had have got involved, I'm sure you would have made it much worse.

MrsVidic Sun 09-Oct-11 14:09:42

I don't give a shit what anyone says- that is just cruel.

Madlizzy Sun 09-Oct-11 14:10:47

I'd have called the fucking police. That's just horrible.

WitchesBroomForMyChin Sun 09-Oct-11 14:10:52

Poor little girl. YANBU I am [shocked] that the they carried on with it.

worraliberty Sun 09-Oct-11 14:12:13

I've seen similar before

It's normally the second ear that causes the child to freak out...having realised how painful the first one was.

Spuddybean Sun 09-Oct-11 14:15:00

i have one wonky peircing in my left ear because when i was 18 months my mum had my ears peirced. She says the right one is straight because up to then i didn't know what was happening. But after that when they tried to do the other ear i was crying and squirming to get away, but they did it anyway so the hole is at an angle!

nice - cheers mum!!

LittleWhiteWereWolf Sun 09-Oct-11 14:17:59

Why on earth would none of those adults have said "you know what? she's not really ready for this, lets stop." Whats the benefit of carrying on when she was so distressed.

Poor kid sad

Nancy66 Sun 09-Oct-11 14:18:20

I've seen it before too.
Mother will be as thick as mince - they always are.

DorcasLane Sun 09-Oct-11 14:18:36

I had a Saturday job when I was in sixth form piercing ears. A woman came in and wanted her daughters ears pierced. She was about 5. She let me do the first but screamed and cried and didn't want the other done. The woman insisted, the manager insisted, I said I didn't feel comfortable doing it. The child was BEGGING not to have the other one done. We were there for about an hour . The woman tried every kind of bribery, the child pleaded not to be made to have the other done. The woman insisted, the manager told me it HAD to be done, they held her down. I walked out. Never went back.

TidyDancer Sun 09-Oct-11 14:20:39

It's a disgusting practice that should not be allowed.

YANBU. I would've unashamedly judged as well. The parents and the piercer were an absolute disgrace.

Spuddybean Sun 09-Oct-11 14:22:00

nancy my mum is not thick as mince, she had spent a lot of time growing up in italy and it is very usual there. but not as usual here in the 70's - i was the only one at school with them done.

hobnobsaremyfave Sun 09-Oct-11 14:23:47

<gets card and dabber pen to play cliche bingo>

Cassettetapeandpencil Sun 09-Oct-11 14:23:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Sun 09-Oct-11 14:24:29

I have heard of some places that do them both at the same time as it's the second ear that causes the child to cry as the first one hurts so much.

I had mine done at 10 and can still feel that burning hot pain!

Cassettetapeandpencil Sun 09-Oct-11 14:25:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thzumbiewitch Sun 09-Oct-11 14:27:06

YANBU. I have a friend here who has Mediterranean background - she has had her DDs' ears done, when they were about 6mo, I think. But she says that where they were done, they did both ears simultaneously, precisely to avoid the screaming head-wriggling for the second ear. So, two people doing it, one on each ear at the same time.

I don't agree with it (hell, I don't even have my own ears pierced!) but it is normal in some cultures.

BatsUpMeNightie Sun 09-Oct-11 14:28:52

No 'dare I say' about it Cassette - it IS pure chav. It's cruel, unnecessary and carried out by parents with the cerebral capacity of a rotting paramecium.

Blueberties Sun 09-Oct-11 14:29:06

Isn't that child abuse? I don't see why it's not child abuse.

RebelFromTheWaistDown Sun 09-Oct-11 14:29:11

I have been told they don't feel any pain at that age so the younger they are the better. They won't remember it when they are older so it can't hurt. hmm

gordyslovesheep Sun 09-Oct-11 14:30:13

<helps hobnob so a full house> cultural, spain, abroad, social services, chav, evil, putting holes in your baby

that said - I really do dislike the practice of tagging kids!

BatsUpMeNightie Sun 09-Oct-11 14:30:43

Really Rebel? Well if that's the case we should do a bit of home made cosmetic surgery on them as well. Why not? Cheaper and it won't hurt. FFS.

luciadilammermoor Sun 09-Oct-11 14:31:24

The screaming reminded me of DD1 when she was tiny and was being sedated for a scan as doctors thought she might have leukaemia. The sheer unknown panic and 'what the hell is happening to me?'. Not temper, not anger or frustration, just utter terror.

I had to hold her while they did it (and I would have never done it if it wasn't for a good cause) but the thought of doing that to my child for the simple reason of having holes punched in her ears. <shivers> takes some doing.

Blueberties Sun 09-Oct-11 14:31:51

Who told you that rebel? It seems extraordinary that anyone could believe it.

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